diving into books

I got up early and worked out. By the time I got home, the kids were all up, but nobody was in the mood to get dressed or have breakfast. Eventually, they did get dressed. My husband was home, so he regaled with Greek myths. 7 yo read a few of those, so they had a lively discussion.

Davening did not go so well, lots of running around and chasing each other. Then the oldest went to do Rosetta Stone, while 5 yo picked handwriting. Today's letter was i, he claimed he already knew how to write it, so we skipped to e. Now e is a big deal, as he realizes that once he can do e, he can also write shin. HTW uses baseball example to teach e, so he loves "running around the bases", making the curve part. I hope he remembers it. Then he picked megillah. I read to him probably 7 perakim in English, stopping every once in a while to make sure he understands. 2 yo walked around, sat on my lap, sat next to us, etc. She is definitely getting unschooled here.

Then the boys switched. 7 yo asked to do math first. We finished up length and I explained why there are metric and customary units. He is eager to do multiplication, so I printed out some pages from teacher's corner, setting one of the factors less than 6. He did it in a flash ( thanks to Schoolhouse Rock). Now I have to check whether he knows higher numbers.

Then he did arranging sentences from the megillah. I found this activity on http://chinuch.org/ I explained how the sentences will be formed and he dove right in, making sentences. 5 yo finished up and came up to help at this point. 2 yo kept moving the cards around, but at the end, they did form all possible sentences.

Then we went for ice cream and the library. It feels giddy to be able to take your kids for ice cream at 11 am and not to worry about school or crowds or lunch, and just enjoy it. Afterwards, we got to the library. Mercifully, they had a toddler class that morning, so my 2 yo was not the only one running around. 7 yo found Encyclopedia Brown and got lost inside. 5 yo  scanned shelves. I was trying to find books for the toddler group tomorrow. Then everyone helped my check out. When we got home, the boys just pulled out their books and were not heard from again for a while. I keep on forgetting that on the days we go to the library, I will have to distract them from new books to get anything done.

Later, much later, we did finish formal school work. 7 yo read 7 more pesukim from the megillah, did his spelling and another page of Lashon HaTorah. 5 yo learned tzadi sofit, which he called a lamed carrying a pretzel. He even drew a house for tzadi sofit--somehow this pretzel letter moved him. In Yesh Lanu Lama, we read the next page. Then we did math, even and odd numbers. 

All of this was finished by 3 pm. Then the boys watched "Alice in Wonderland" from 1915. I had to explain about black-and-white silent movies and how music came separately. I also realized that reading captions ( I do not know what is the proper name for those flashes of story in between) is good reading practice for 5 yo. They were quite drawn in.

After Alice, 7 yo went back to reading something or other. 5 yo checked on his beans and noted their roots. Then he wanted to make masks, something that I wrote down in optional section. I made an eye mask for 2 yo; he wanted a full face mask. I ended up drawing the shape fro him, with eyes and mouth, he cut it out and wrote ninja on it ( hehe, spontaneous writing). Then he decided he wants eye mask after all, so more cutting and coloring.

After dinner, 7 yo made a mask too. I am discovering that what I thought was itty-bitty bullying problem as probably larger than I thought. Last year, he dressed up as Batman for dress-up day ion school. From that day on, a certain girl teased him, calling him Batman, even though he did not like it. He sort of brought that up, but never in a way that warranted action. Now, with this new mask, he tells me that she cannot tease him, because sometimes he's a ninja, and sometimes he's a ferocious beast. Now that he's home, he hasn't seen her in weeks, yet he's still concerned. Hm, how do those itty-bitty bullying problems affect people?

observing kids observe nature

I am typing this to decompress and to avoid folding mounds of laundry...

Yesterday, 7 yo asked to make Mishenichnas "Our Door" sign. At 7:30 am. I printed out multiple page poster, that kept everyone busy and the floor occupied for a bit.

After breakfast, I insisted on some Chumash and I got what I asked for: he told me he does not want to do Vayeira any more. I suggested doing megilah instead, and he read first pasuk. The language is easier in megilah at this point.

Then we went to the nature center, finished off winter hikes on a gorgeous warm day. We saw geese, turtles, ducks. 7 yo wrote in his hike booklet: mallards. I asked 5 yo to write ducks. He got d down and then sat there, not sure what comes next. Not a, not e... t? ( What? Why can this kid sight-read, but he cannot do this?) I told 7 yo to keep his mouth shut and let his brother figure it out. Y? C? After 10 minutes of sitting there and complaining that he has no idea and I should do it, he finally squeezed out u. Then he followed it by c and k, fluently and on his own. Weird.

Then we had lunch at picnic tables. 5 yo laid down on the bench and stayed on his side, not moving, for good five minutes. Just as I began to wonder what is he doing, he informed me that there is a spider under the table and he was watching it. This is the kid who cannot sit still, yet a spider is worthy of his undivided attention. When he was 3, we used to go to arboretum and he just ran and ran ahead, so happy that he does not have to hold anyone's hand or constantly listen. I see him and I know that in traditional school, he would be like a square peg in a round hole.

When we got home, everyone did Moon Dough. Thank you to the genius who invented non-chametz, non-staining, always pliable and sweepable substance. You are highly esteemed in my eyes.

That night was local dayschool's dinner/Chinese auction. My husband got back from work just in time to go, yet he had a patient in labor, so we had a romantic drive there.. in two cars. Past all local adult entertainment. Beyond the train tracks. The event itself was fun, there was boys' choir, and we won one of the prizes: tickets to puppet shows, INK family visits, local art studio time, tickets to the Children's Museum.

Gotta tackle that laundry now... I tried getting boys to help, but somehow " matching socks up" turned into "slapping socks".

some general musings

I think the real reason people are afraid to homeschool is that all influences in child's life become family-centered. You cannot blame teachers, morahs, babysitters, friends, bullies, etc for the way the child turns out. YOU, as a parent, are solely responsible for that. It is true even if your child is not homeschooled, but then it is easier to blame problems and lack of success on others. When the child is with you, day in and day out, you just see yourself and all your character traits reflected back.

Our local dayschool printed a letter from the principal, reinforcing that while school provides academics, the middos ( positive character traits) come from home. Schools do not teach kids to behave, parents do. Now, the thought of that sometimes leaves me so overwhelmed, that I want to hide under the covers and not see the light of the day. I am really afraid of irreparably screwing up my kids. But, on the other hand, this is a real opportunity to work on yourself. Your kids will learn not only from your nice moments, but also from the moments when you are short-tempered; when everything is falling apart; when you lose it. I think there is a lot to be said for learning how to lose it consciously. Say to yourself: I am losing it; this situation is infuriating, but what do I want my child to take away from it?

This "working on yourself" brings me to another issue which I keep observing in myself, as well as in others. Where do your energies flow? When kids are tiny babies, all energies naturally flow to maintain them: to feed them, to change them, to get them to sleep. Once they are not so tiny, all of a sudden you find yourself with surplus of energy. (For me it happens around the time the youngest is two). What are you doing with it? Do you place it into making your house spotless and your kids prisoners of only one "messy" area? Do you place it into Shabbos meals to stun others, while your kids would happily eat chicken and potatoes? Do you feel that now you need to find a job, so that you have approval of others while the little people who look up to you are now forced to look up to someone else? Do you find a new fad to follow, which will take your energy and then you will be too busy and tired to read a book to your kids before they go to sleep? Or will you take that energy and use it towards your family's needs, whether it means playing a board game, taking your kids to ride bikes, reading umpteenth book for the umpteenth time, or answering your child's question in a thought-out manner.

I am not for people martyring themselves for the sake of the children, but I am against accidental parenting.

mishkan building

We did something crazy last night. My husband was home before dinner. I cannot recall last time THAT happened. In honor of Rosh Chodesh, we went out for pizza. Note to self: we cannot order just one pie any more. The kids clamored for soda/dessert/french fries. My husband suggested Krispy Kreme, which was met with great enthusiasm. As we were heading out, we noticed a thin sliver of a new moon and I remembered that a local science museum/observatory has open telescope on Thursday nights. Before, it was never a possibility: kids are too young, 7 yo has school early the next day, what about toddler, etc. But I thought and realized that the answer is: why not? It is literally 15 minutes from our house; if kids get cranky, we can head home and nobody has to wake up early the next morning.

The kids were beyond thrilled by the possibility. Well, by the time we got there, clouds rolled in. The telescope was not going to open till 9, and they were not sure whether the clouds would prevent viewing or not. They have nice free exhibits, on space and reptiles in addition to some dinosaurs and a bee hive. The boys explored those and 2 yo walked everywhere, looking at birds. Even though we did not get to use the telescope, it was a nice late outing.

This morning everyone slept in. 7 yo and 2 yo woke up by 7:30 and 5 yo slept in till after 9. So the morning got off to slow start. I consciously made effort last night not to overschedule erev shabbos. I decided to focus on the parsha. So I told 7 yo that we will learn it and build a mishkan out of legos. I also told him we will do chumash, read megillah, plant seeds and decorate our door for Adar (this joke was well received). He could not wait to get started and I kept holding him back, as I wanted to teach parsha only once, and 5 yo was still getting his sleepies out.

7 yo read the Megillah ( in English) and then said he is ready for Hagaddah. He got one down and started reading.

Then we started on the parshah. Since we were doing measurements, I figured why not measure out in real life how big everything in the mishkan was. We assumed that one ama is two feet. The boys liked using yardstick and measuring tape. I was blown away by the size of the objects. When you read that the planks were 10 amot and picture 20 feet, it is not the same as having to rearrange living room furniture to measure out 20 feet on the floor and then adding in width. 7 yo was obsessed with finding the perimeter of the aron, so we got math in too.

Then I got boys to clean up downstairs, so they can get all legos out to build a mishkan. 5 yo suggested using yellow for gold. 7 yo ended up doing all the building. I also had cut and paste page, with placing appropriate objects in various areas of the mishkan. That was more to 5 yo's liking. 7 yo drew a couple diagrams of where everything was, he likes making maps and charts.

After lunch, 2 yo went for a nap and we did chumash. Yesterday's pesukim went smoothly and today the only new word was sulfur. I googled it, to show what was raining down. Then he drew a small picture and asked to play computer games. I sent him downstairs and sat down to Yesh Lanu Lama. 5 yo wanted to know why can't play. I said that we need to do some work. He could do it, but tummy aches started again. I said that once he's done, we'll be doing a science experiment. That motivated him enough.

Then we planted seeds in egg cartons, one with closed lid and one with open lid. I gave them pinto beans and corn kernels. I asked them which ones they thought would sprout first. They said, the open ones. We'll keep our eyes open. Then they ran all over the yard, planting surplus seeds. This will not produce nice lawn...

Now the boys are coloring in parsha sheets. 7 yo pulled out 39 Melachot book to look up the color of "griffins" on the curtains.

Shabbat Shalom!

Money management

Today was another day when I scheduled too much.

After we davened, I asked 7 yo whether we should start with chumash. He said, yes. I wrote a bunch of mi amar el mi, he answered them quickly. Two were wrong. When I asked him to look them up, he just tried guessing. I asked him to open the chumash and look inside. He started moping and claiming that he did not want to do chumash. I said that we'll review and then do two pesukim and they are short. After more hesitation, he found them. Then I asked to review pesukim from yesterday. More resistance. I sort of brought up the "vayomer" issue. He said that it is probably just one mal'ach talking. I said that it could be someone in charge of overturning the plain. His eyes lit up. Then we did new pesukim. I explained Tzoar according to Rashi. He drew a map illustrating where Lot was going.

Then we went to Costco. The boys brought their allowance. Inside the store I insisted that boys walk together. I have a juicy story of 5 yo running away and hiding behind canoes and me having to alert workers to find him. ( FYI, Costco, does not do a floor page for anything, so try not to lose your kids there). They did stay together. They could not find toy section, the gift-giving season being over. I got my items and the boys showed up with: kite for 5 yo and sand play kit for 7 yo.

My policy on allowance is that I give it to you weekly, you give tzedakah and the rest is for you to do as you wish. I do not buy them toys. I do not buy them soda. I do not remind them to bring their allowance, but I do not manage how they spend it. I think it is better to learn money management this way than wait till you are older and the mistakes that you make are much larger. I went away for high school and was faced with the problem of managing very limited money without being able to work. Growing up, whenever I was gifted any money, it went to my parents. Needless to say, there was a sharp learning curve and I am naturally tight-fisted. It takes a lot for me not say anything when I see kids choosing to spend their money recklessly, but I am hoping that some recklessness now will help bigger lessons to sink in in the long run.

So they got their toys. They also got chips and cookies from the vending machine ( their money). On the way over and back, we listened to Purim music. I explained mishenichnas Adar, marbim besimcha. Then there was layehudim haita ora. I asked boys to guess when we say this. They seemed confused. I said that daddy says this every week. 5 yo guessed havdalah. Then he asked whether driving up to NY is going north. I confirmed. Then we discussed how NY is really to the north-east, while Toronto, where we went last summer, is truly north. 7 yo piped in that Lake Ontario is in the way of going straight north. Then he went on about which lake borders which state. This kid enjoys poring over maps, tracing rivers, studying borders, the sort of creative activities that I would like him to do, only he comes up with them on his own. The results stick better, too.

When we got home, they helped me unload the car. I got a large platter of macaroons for Pesach, but 2 yo picked it up awkwardly and half of them became squirrel food.

Then I was rushing through formal schoolwork, hoping to get to Adar project. It did not go so well. At some point, 7 yo did finish planned activities. Then he suggested using rice in his sand kit. I hesitantly agreed. He happily played with it. Creative thinking, out-of-the-box thinking, we got that. But that creativity produced quite a mess.

By clean-up time, it did not look so good. He felt that other kids made more mess. He did not do a good job sweeping spilled rice and then sulked. He talked about losing his temper. At some point, I lost mine and sent him to his room. After some minutes passed, he asked for a dictionary. I told he can get it, unsure what was his plan. A few minutes later, he told me that he looked up "temper" and now he's sorry, because he did not realize how bad it was what he was saying. I like to see internal guilt, instead of external pressure to improve behavior.

Looking forward to Rosh Chodesh pizza dinner.

home economics

Today was co-op Wednesday. I was out of ideas for things to do with toddlers and we haven't made it to the library to restock on books, so late last night I kept mulling over: cats? dinosaurs? sheep? I settled on faces and printed out some without eyes, figuring we can add sticker eyes and draw hair.

A lot of people were out today, so it was a pretty quiet time. I ended up catching up a bit with a friend of mine and now we have a whole shabbos lunch planned out and another chance at grown-up conversation.

7 yo did clock series in art: he drew pictures of analog and digital clocks, hourglass and sundial. He said that he was influenced by Catlanta(?), some bizarre artists who is still alive and works locally. I think he was amazed that artists could be contemporary, not just dead people.

5 yo came out of his art with Eye of G-d project. It is basically two sticks crossed over, tied with multiple strands of colored yarn. He said it's called eye of G-d in Mexican language. I am staring  at this thing and hoping it is not a cross that my child has been working on... I googled it later, it's not that bad, but will probably be quietly disposed of in the next couple of days.

On the way home, the boys started haggling over the price of sitting in the back seat, where 7 yo sits now. ( I have five car seats in the car now for carpool, so certain spots are off limits and certain others are valuable). He was trying to sell the rights to his seat. We used to have a rule that nothing could be bought or sold, since the older always took advantage of the younger. This time, I bit my tongue and wanted to see where all of this went. At some point, 7 yo was selling his seat for 2 years for all of 5 yo's allowance, which is upward of 20$.
5 yo: But then I will have no money. So you want me to be poor?
7 yo: It's not that I want you to be poor, I want to be rich.
Thinking a bit: How about I pay you back a bit? I can give you a penny every day.
5 yo: And I get to sit in the back? It's a deal!
As we got home, I told boys I will have to think whether this is fair.

We came home and had lunch. Everyone asked for bagels, got their own plates and cleaned up. 2 yo went for a nap. The boys did Rosetta Stone. 5 yo did handwriting and ketiva. I wanted to focus more on lameds, he wanted to move on to pei sofit. To my amazement, he got it.

7 yo asked for spelling, he said it is his favorite. He was a bit discouraged, as he got three words wrong today. One of them was "yelled", he forgot one l. The he tried squeezing it in. Then he blacked out the whole word. I told him that nobody will see his writing, it is only for him to see which words he knows and which need more study. We pulled out a tray of rice for tracing today; as I expected, it was a hit. Then the imagination took over, the boys wanted to add water to it and mold it. That was out of my comfort zone. 5 yo also wanted to trace words in it.

Then the boys did math. 7 yo worked on feet and yards. I was glad that we had a yardstick, because even though he told me that there are three feet in a yard, he could not figure out how many yards are in 4 feet. 5 yo worked more on 2nd grade math. I find it amusing. I get the point of not wasting time on trying to teach kids concepts which are way above their heads. I get the point of waiting and teaching later, but going through the material quicker rather than stretching it out. I get the idea of challenging and prodding out of comfort zone. But the idea of a reluctant child doing math two levels above with ease and WANTING to do it... either this is his strong area and he does not feel that he's being challenged, or I am missing the forces at play. To please mommy? To prove me wrong?

Then there was chumash. I asked 7 yo whether he wanted to start with it. He declined. When we finally got there, 2 yo woke up screaming. She only wanted to pee downstairs. I did not want to take her there. She was screaming, I was impatient, 5 yo was running around. And I was trying to get 7 yo to read Vaeyra. Now it all sounds ridiculous. 7 yo finally broke the impasse by taking her to the downstairs bathroom. We did two more pesukim. In the pshat, it should be Lot talking to the malachim, but it says "vayomer", "and he said". I was waiting for him to ask the obvious, "who is he?" but he did not. I bit my tongue. Maybe it's time for another review sheet of mi amar al mi to refocus. I am realizing that even at our leisurely pace of two pesukim a day, we will be doing 12-14 pesukim a week.

5 yo read a new section from Lama.

Then we headed out to redeem Ace Hardware groupon by buying a new alarm clock for the boys. The old one got destroyed during the sleepover and not knowing what time to wake up is a major concern for the 7 yo. Before we got to the store, the boys asked if they can get some tchochke toys and I said: we'll see. When we got to the alarm clocks, 7 yo quickly calculated that if we buy a cheaper one, the chances for him to get a toy are higher. Then the boys went to check out the bargain section while I loaded on some potting soil. Our total came up exactly to groupon. The boys got LED flashlight rings. As we got to the car, 7 yo discovered that his does not work. I gave him the receipt and told to ask for a replacement. He marched in and very politely did just that. Till now, he usually claimed to be too shy in such situations.

Then we walked to Office Depot to laminate some Purim stuff. 7 yo was surprised that we walked there and did  not drive. The boys hung out nicely, exploring nooks and crannies of the shelves while the clerk was fighting the laminating machine which kept sucking in empty plastic sleeves.

We had milchig tacos for dinner. 7 yo first retold the story of an emperor without clothes.Then he made up a lengthy story about how the cheetah got its speed, Kipling style. He mixed in the African legend of tear marks on cheetah's eyes, but the rest was quite original. After dinner,7 yo sulked a bit since he wanted Bruster's for dessert and kind of mentioned it in the car this morning. I used my standard "we'll see" and 5 yo piped in from Winnie the Pooh: you always see, but nothing comes out of it. I guess that's true. "We'll see" buys me time and allows to explore how I feel on the issue. Sometimes the answer is "yes", I just did not consider it. And even if the answer is "no", it is gentler after I put some thought into it instead of knee-jerk response. At the end, the boys got Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, with whipped cream, syrup and sprinkles.

Then it was haircut time. The boys needed it. I usually cut their hair at home, but every once in a while, I will take them to get professionally straightened out. This was at home job. They knew that we will be getting pizza tomorrow for Rosh Chodesh, and I explained before that every time they get a barber haircut, that's one less pizza to eat out. While monetarily this is worth it, effort-wise it is a bit crazy, since I have to keep three kids  out of a pile of hair and stick them straight into shower... but for me, that is one less dinner to cook, serve and clean up after!

piano practice

This morning started with a dental cleaning for mommy. My husband was supposed to be home with the kids... well, there was a cord prolapse, emergency CS, so I was stuck bringing all three of them to the office. I was concerned. I put 2 yo in the stroller, grabbed some books for the boys and headed out. In the waiting room, 7 yo mercifully picked up some ATV racing magazine and not Sports Illustrated. I started reading One Fish, Two Fish and both the younger ones listened in. I got taken for X-rays before my husband came to pick up the kids, so I brought toddler with me and hoped that boys would behave in the not-child-friendly waiting room.

After all that was done, we headed out to Interactive Kids Neighborhood. This place is an hour away, so we packed lunch. This was our first time, so I was not sure what to expect. It was cute, set up as a neighborhood, with a post office, grocery store, vet, hospital, cafe, police car, fire truck, etc. They had a designated toddler room and place to eat lunches in the back. The kids had a blast.

I felt a tinge of sadness. Instead of experiencing life in a real neighborhood, now we have to build a make-believe one and then let kids play there. I let my kids play in whichever area they chose. At the same time, I observed a school group. They were led by a teacher, followed her in pairs. They marched to a plane, gawking, but still lined up. Then the teacher spoke for a bit. Then they lined up and marched off, kids wistfully looking at all the things they did not get to play with. I'm sure it will go home in a newsletter: we had a field trip. They kids learned a lot...

There was a music room with a piano. 5 yo came and banged on the keys for a bit. I told him the only song I know how to play is Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Later, 7 yo came.He wanted me to teach him. I showed it slowly, he practiced. I showed it again. By then, 2 yo ran to another room, so I left. I heard him practicing on his own. Then he called me to demonstrate. 

As a kid, I took piano for 3 years.Those were tear-soaked years, when I memorized where my fingers are supposed to go, but could not hear the mistakes I was making. All I have to show for them is that Twinkle, Twinkle. And here is my son, in a moment of high motivation, picking it right up. Then he practiced it on a xylophone. 

Overall, they had great time and want to go back there again.

Formally, we did chumash when we came back, after dinner. 7 yo told me he wants to do it first thing every day, more to get it done with. I will see how that will work. He was able to translate most of the new pesukim. He does not like reviewing the pesukim from the previous day, and he wanted to translate them right away. I asked him to first read the whole pasuk in Hebrew and then go back to translate.