Dinner in an hour

This is not a foodie blog and I do not have pictures to go with what I am about to post, but I figured it might be helpful to some mom out there.

We went to a lake to swim with some homeschool friends, so I did not get started on dinner till 4. I had it on the table at 5 (fine, 5:05 for transparency's sake). No, it was not take-out. No, it was not chicken nuggets or frozen pizza. It was a solid dinner: soup, main, starch, veggie. No, it was not a miracle.

This morning I pulled a bag of chicken cutlets from the freezer. Since I buy them at Costco, I usually divide the large family pack into two bags before freezing. This bag had breasts sliced in half, so it defrosted quickly.

At 4 I turned the oven up to 400, rinsed the breasts and put them in the pan. I sprinkled them with sesame oil, soy sauce, onion flakes, garlic powder, ginger and a drizzle of honey. Then I mixed them in the pan so the breasts were well-coated, covered them with foil and stuck them in the oven. Next, I rinsed one cup of rice in another pan, added 1 3/4 cups of water, a drizzle of olive oil, covered that pan, and stuck it in the oven with the chicken.

I usually make this quick zucchini soup. two onions, chopped, 4-6 zucchini, chopped into chunks, vegetable broth to cover, 1/4 cup of rice, bring to a boil, add seasoning, simmer for 20 minutes, puree with immersion blender straight in the pot, voila! Except that I like to doctor it up: add quinoa instead of rice, or throw in extra veggies. Today, as I was reaching for a bag of quinoa, I found a package of edamame noodles from Costco. They were brittle, they were green, and they had zero appeal of the noodles, so they were sitting in the pantry. An evil genius idea of a substitution: why don't I crumble them in instead of quinoa, then puree and nobody will know? Look at all the extra protein! Look at me salvaging what I'm sure were expensive noodles, languishing here! Hehe! So in they went. I made a mental note to remove any traces of what I did before the kids who will come to set the table express their opinion on my substitution without a taste test.

While the soup was simmering, I pulled out a bag of string beans and another pan. I trimmed the ends, tossed them with a bit of olive oil, spread them in a pan and sprinkled with salt. Then they went in the oven together with the chicken and rice.

I checked my phone. I stretched. This dinner was practically cooking itself. I uncovered the chicken so it could get dry in its sauce. I threw a bunch of parsley from my garden into the soup (it's about the only thing that grew in the garden, but it sounds very foodie of me now: freshly snipped parsley! In reality, I was too lazy to go and get scissors, so I twisted and yanked). I pureed the soup while adding cumin and curry and called the kids to set the table.

They fought. Just because I had dinner under control did not mean that they turn into angels. One child provoked another. By the time, I took a bathroom break, a steady wail in stereo leaked under the door. One child touched another. One child lost dessert.

It was dinnertime. Dinner was served.

They ate the soup with the green edamame noodles incorporated into it. Hint: soup croutons make all soup taste better. Some asked for seconds. They discussed how much fun they had playing with their friends, making elaborate sand dams.

Save this post for the next time dinner prep gets in the way of getting together with some friends and spending the day at the beach.

A day trip to Chattanooga aquarium

I had all the kids home with me last week. We were talking about different things to do and Chattanooga Aquarium came up. We have been there once, almost four years ago, and I have much fonder memories of it than of our local overpriced and super-commercialized aquarium.

So this morning I woke up (after the baby has been sleeping through the night for the past week) and when one of the boys asked whether we can drive to Chattanooga today, I said: "Why not?" And just like that, we had breakfast, packed up lunch and a diaper bag, and set out. By "we" I mean myself and five kids. My husband had to work. I joked with him how I really need to go to farmer's market and Costco this week, but I much rather drive to an aquarium two hours away that go through the store with my crew.

On the way there, we finished listening to "The Dragon Rider" by Cornelia Funke. We started on the way to and from the homeschool conference, but since we have to intersperse music for the younger kids, books on CDs take a while. 3 yo's new favorite CD is Frog Trouble by Sandra Boynton, another library find. At least Sandra Boynton CDs are not annoying when played frequently, something that I can't say about Raffi or Wiggles.

I brought an umbrella stroller for the baby, a backpack cooler with lunch for 12 yo to carry, and a diaper bag. When we got to Chattanooga, we had lunch first and then entered the first building of the aquarium. I kept on thinking about the gorilla incident and the angry chorus how animals should not be displayed. And then I saw how much my younger kids, 6 yo and 3 yo, who have not been to the zoo in the past year, or any other place with animal exposure, picked up from seeing live birds, fish, and mammals. How can one teach a 3 yo to be brave enough to plunge his hand into cold water and pet a stingray? How can I give my daughter the experience of discovery that stingray feels like jello and she can reach in and touch it? How can they learn what a butterfly walking across one's face feels like? How else my 3 yo will discover excitedly that penguins "fly" underwater? That he can use two fingers to feel the scales of a cornsnake?

We had a great time. Nobody ran off, nobody got lost, nobody cried. 3 yo even didn't have any accidents, and the baby stayed awake and relatively happy the whole time. And I kept thinking: this is what a good homeschooling day feels like. This is what I love doing with my wild and crazy bunch: drive them to a cool place, get all excited about it, see them get all excited, and watch as they ask each other about what they liked the most. 

Before we headed back, the kids asked about Ben and Jerry's corner store right next to the parking garage. I said that I will take a look at their prices. When you have five kids, getting everyone a scoop gets expensive very quickly, not to mention that we already spent money on gas and parking and admission (technically membership since I am planning to get there again). When I ducked into the store ( more accurately, as we spilled into the store) and I saw their prices, I felt ready to leave. Enter 12 yo, the rationalist: "If I split a cup with my brother, and sister splits a cup with 3 yo and you get a small cup for yourself, it is much cheaper than getting everyone a scoop". "Yes, we all all ready to share". Ok then, The older boys ordered their cup, but 3 yo, spoiled by getting his own (free) baby cone at local Bruster's was not inclined to share. So he dropped on the floor, kicking and screaming that he wants his own. The beauty of having so many kids is that it is no longer mortifying. I knew that either he will stop yelling soon and chooses to share, or he will continue yelling and I will take him outside the store without ice cream. Knowing this child, I was betting on the first. Sorry, patrons, but I had to pay for our treat. By the time I paid, he calmed down and chose to sit next to his sister.

We finished our scoops, got in the car, and drove back home.

May I be known as a mom with a messy house and without groceries, but the one who took her kids places that generated happiness.

When errands turn into pleasant outings

You have one child, and you worry and you fret. You fret about getting out of the house, nursing in public, crying baby, having enough diapers, not getting enough sleep, baby not sleeping.

Then you have two kids, and now you fret about coordinating naps, or one child running off, or being split into two directions. You fret about going out in public and not being able to control them, or having enough snacks, or using the restroom.

Then, somewhere, around three kids, magic happens. You still fret and feel overwhelmed, but you fret much less. You probably have a handle on nursing in public, you know which establishments have the cleanest bathrooms and are kid-friendly, and you have emergency diaper stash in the car. You gave up on coordinating nap schedules and accepted sleep deprivation as a trade-off to spend time with these little people.

It is the second day of the winter break for 5 yo and 2 yo, and, I have to confess, I'm loving it. I love no afternoon carpool. I love having them all home. I love having all the kids hang out together, separate into playmates as they see fit. I love that 2 year old is entertaining the baby. I love that 9 yo and 5 yo are playing their games. I love that we are all going to places together.

Today could have been insane. The boys had their taekwondo in the morning, I was testing right after their class, and then we were taking the car for an overdue oil change. I could not attend the class, since I had all the younger kids with me, but it turned out to be fine. Both 5 yo and 2 yo packed their backpacks with toys and books of their selection. 5 yo stayed in the dojang and watched the boys. 2 yo stayed right outside the door, watching the practice, getting drinks from the water fountain and being quiet. The baby was the hardest: she did not nap in the car on the way over, and I needed her to be happy for my test, as I was relying on 11 year old to watch her. She was fussy, but I was able to nurse her to sleep and leave her in the car seat.

I fretted about not stretching before being tested. I knew the material, but my body was not warmed up. However, the test went well (and I have to thank the teacher, who is a parent himself, for keeping it short and sweet). 11 yo watched the baby and played Hangman with 5 yo. 9 yo watched 2 yo. He was impressed with my board breaking, on the first try.

Then we all changed into regular clothes and drove over to drop off the car for the oil change. Since it was a fast day, even though none of us were fasting, I did not want to take kids to Starbucks for hot cocoa, and I did not want to get them treats. However, we did have an hour to kill. When I unloaded the kids, they lined up around one of the car bays: I forgot how exciting it is to see the car go up and see the underbelly. Once they realized that our car is not getting hoisted up any time soon, they asked me what we are doing for an hour. I suggested going to a nearby square, but they spotted the library first. "Ooh, can we go?" One of the boys was sad that he did not have his library card with him. This is not the branch that we usually go to, so it was even more exciting. I said that we can stay inside as long as the baby doesn't fuss, and then we discussed why the library is expected to be a quiet place. When  we got inside, the boys disappeared into the stacks. 5 yo found some puzzles, 2 yo found a book and asked me to read. The baby squirmed, so I sent her crawling. We stayed inside, with me reading to the younger ones for about 20 minutes, when the baby's level of noise started getting louder and louder. It was time to leave.

When we came out, I told the kids that we can break into the only snack I brought: a half-eaten bottle of peanuts topped off with almonds, craisins and dried apricots. We walked over to the square, where there were benches and space to run around. 11 yo protectively held 2 yo's hand when we crossed the streets. 9 yo pushed the stroller. The kids looked around at the shops and the restaurants and commented on their names and food options. In the square, 11 yo sat on the bench, while the younger ones ran around, playing tag, and climbing on the sculpture. I took the baby out and held her in my lap. It was warm, it was nice, the kids were taking turns grabbing snack from the bottle and strictly enforcing fairness. 

I thought to myself: how lucky I am to reach a point where an oil change is a welcome break from our routine. It was such a good outing. I did not fret about the snacks, I already changed 2 yo at taekwondo, so I did not fret about the diaper. and we would get home, when we would get home, and they will either nap, or not. The older kids will either eat lunch, or not. And none of it matters.

What matters is that we are all here, right now, together. What matters is that I am not overwhelmed by my five kids. What matters is that I am enjoying them, in a pure way where parents get nachat not because of what kids do, but just from having them.

PVC pipe menorah

Before

Last year, I got ourselves PVC pipes, draped them with LED lights, and called it our outdoor menorah. It felt funny, like channeling some inner Chabad. Also, I wanted my kids to look out the window at our menorah, not just wistfully at our neighbors' lit-up lawns and houses.

Marking off the measurements

This year, I had the whole plan to make a base for the menorah out of PVC connectors. I was hoping that the boys would design the stand, make all the measurements and I would serve as an advisor and chauffeur to Home Depot for the supplies. As it was getting closer to Chanukah, it was becoming clearer that if i wanted the menorah to have a base, I will need to take matters into my own hands.

10 yo using PVC cutters. I was nervous about his fingers,
 but he was quite careful

Very conveniently, a local Chabad was holding a menorah building workshop in Home Depot this past Sunday. I signed the kids up, and, once they were situated under my husband's supervision, I went off to collect the necessary supplies. I must have been quite a sight, marching through the store with a 10 foot pipe protruding from both ends of the cart. I got one long pipe, T connectors to hold up each "candle" and X connectors for stabilizing feet. I also got super cement to glue the whole thing together. Finally, I splurged on PVC cutters, as I was not sure what length we will need for each piece.

This morning, I started off by telling 10 yo that his math involved figuring out how to measure and cut the correct length of each piece. We sketched and diagrammed. I ended up calculating with him together. It was not as trivial as it appeared, and he ended up having to multiply both decimals and fractions (that is the section that he is currently learning in math). Once all the measurements and the calculations were complete, we had to wait for 1 yo take his nap, so I could focus on the older kids.

the base

At the beginning, all three participated, but then the younger two went off to play. 10 yo did most of the work. He marked off the measurements, used cutters to clip sections, and connected the pieces. He commented how the completed base looked like an antenna. I ended up winding up the lights.Two of the strands were used for the Succah, so I'm yet to retrieve them.

attaching the legs to the base

After

I did not ended up using PVC  cement, as we found that the piece fit in snugly without it. I liked the idea that I can take the menorah apart every year instead of being forced to store it as one bulky piece (it is 5 feet long). That being said, I am not sure whether it will be sturdy enough without the glue holding the pipes in place. We will live and we will learn.

comic relief

My oldest, upon hearing me debate which browser to install instead of Chrome: "Maybe you should be like Shimshon and get Firefox?"

---

My daughter lost her sandal. I picked her up from camp with both sandals on. Sometime between her pick-up, boys' pick-up from camp, pit stop at home for a library card and the library's parking lot, her sandal went missing. She did not leave the car the whole time. I checked in every bag and dug under all the seats: no sandal. That's how she hopped to the library, on one foot. I hope one shoe satisfies "shirt and shoes required".

---

My husband overheard 8 yo tell that 4 yo promised never to tell on her brothers.
My husband: "That will not work, she is not required to do that."
8 yo: "She promised."
"I cancel her promise. It was in this week's parsha."
"She promised yesterday. You can't cancel it today, too late!"
"I just heard about it today, so I am cancelling it today."

---

The other day I woke up to a detailed budget of what it would cost to keep a dragon:










I am not sure that I am a dragon person.

The problems with unschooling

I have two gripes with unschooling. Maybe others have solutions to them, but they seem to evade me for now.

1. All joy and no fun.
No, I have not read the book (yet), but today's complaint by 10 yo brought it into focus. Today was Sunday, but it was also a morning after my husband was out all night delivering, the baby needed a morning nap, the boys got invited out to a birthday party at the last minute, and I had to catch up on house things like groceries and laundry. So I ran laundry while the baby napped, and, as soon as he was up, we went to Target to get gifts for the birthday boys and a few items for the house. I let the two older boys go and look at good gifts for their friends while I pushed the cart with the younger two picking out items that we needed. So the boys didn't even have to go through the whole store with me, just hang out in the toy/Pokemon card section. Then we went to Farmer's market to get produce, where the two older boys got baskets with wheels and picked out items from my list. They seemed to be having good time.
Then we got home and had lunch. The boys finished putting away their laundry. While they were waiting for the party, 10 yo remarked how he is sad that it doesn't feel like Sunday. I reacted: it's because every day for you right now is a Sunday! You do not have assignments, no school work, no projects that you are completing. There are just household things, and I was trying to get all the kids out of the house so my husband could sleep. For goodness' sake, we went to get a present for your friends! I guess when every day is a party, it kind of loses its luster and fun. Maybe that's when unschoolers pick up academics: so jaded by all the fun and freedom, that tedium and hard work feel good.

2. Inner focus.
I still do believe that all true learning, the kind that gets internalized, has to happen individually. However, with unschooling and children choosing so much which activities they will engage in, it is very easy to put yourself first in all situations. It probably works just fine if you have one kid. He's the apple of your eye, so of course he gets listened to. By the time there are four kids, and each one is naturally vying for attention, coupled with the attitude of "I get to pick what to do", it gets to be a total mess. 10 yo is horrible about putting things back. He is always in the middle of something which gets dropped and then he moves on to the next thing. He is also picking many solitary activities: computer games, Lego building, reading. All these are good if you, as a parent, give your child space to think, to process, to learn, to synthesize. All of these get to be problematic when a child is so engrossed in his own world (escaping?) that he is oblivious to those around him. I am not talking about good old not listening, I am talking about not being aware of who's in the same room, whether others need your space, whether others need your assistance, whether you are being annoying and disruptive.
Maybe I was kidding myself, but I was hoping that spending more time together as a family would make the kids more attuned to the needs and wants of each other. What I see instead is a lack of sensitivity and a lot of self-absorption.

good old American fun

Today I took 8 yo to Six Flags. He did "Read to Succeed", a reading program in which, once the kids document six hours of reading over the course of many months, they get a free ticket to a nearby Six Flags park. We did it two years ago, with multiple reminders from me. Last year, both boys failed to record their reading hours. They read more than six hours in any given week, but they kept on not writing down what they've read. This year, 8 yo wrote down his reading, while 10 yo did not. He got multiple reminders and even a deadline extension by a week (from the program, not from me), but he still could not get his act together and write down what he was reading. Being a mean mommy, I did not get him the ticket. He was very disappointed, and he kept coming up with different schemes of how to go, including using his allowance money to buy his ticket, but I said that I will not allow him to buy something he should have earned.

So today was 8 yo's day. Additionally, he got to spend it all with me, one-on-one (my MIL came over for the whole day to watch the other kids). I have not been to an amusement park to be amused in a very long time. First, 4 yo was too young to go on any rides. Then I had to wait with her while everyone had fun. Then I had to watch her. Then I was pregnant. In short, I have not had good American fun in years.

In high school, we used to go to the local amusement park often. I loved the water park, the roller coasters, the hanging out. Today was a brief recapture of those carefree days. Before I left for the park, my MIL asked incredulously whether I am planning to go on any rides. I said, of course. As we were going down a log flume, getting splashed and yelling, I thought, that is the kind of mom I am, the one who will get down with her kids to have fun. We did another water ride and then we got to the new water park, the main thing that 8 yo wanted to do. It has a shallow entry lagoon, with waves and tubes to float on. We jumped some waves, splashed, and then I plopped in a chair, warm in the sunshine. 8 yo stayed in the waves, somewhere in the depths of the lagoon. I relaxed, for the first time in months. I did not keep a close eye on 8 yo, but I knew he would not leave the area without me. Whether that makes me a slacker mom, or a relaxed mom is up to you.

When 8 yo had enough of the waves, we went on the water slides. He helped me carry the tubes to the top, and we floated down together. He was so pleasant, so agreeable, and so happy. He also noticed that the lighter the load of the tube, the higher it splashed up the zero gravity slide (and the heavier the log, the bigger splash it produced at the end). He was obviously paying attention to details, soaking in info, drawing conclusions. There was also a bit of a discussion on centrifugal force, and I will lie if I will say that I initiated it, or carried it on. He wondered aloud how many logs it will take before our turn. I jumped at that one, asking him to guess (estimate). He said that he does not want to. Learning and education happen on his terms, not on mine.

As an aside, I should mention that the reason I enjoyed the water park and the wet rides so much had to do with (finally) getting appropriate swimwear for myself. I use a regular bathing suit with Lands' End long sleeve rashguard T-shirt and skirt/pants from Princess swim wear. All material is swimsuit fabric, so it is not heavy and it is meant to get wet and dry quickly. I even got a swimmer's cap, but a tichel does just fine when no real swimming is happening, and it is light enough to dry in the sun.

The last water park ride that we did was to walk to the top of a playground and slide down water slides. There we had to go one at a time. Right next to the entrance of a slide a small boy was standing, shivering. Some older boys said that he is looking for his mommy. Right before my eyes, the lifeguard who was controlling traffic on top made the boy sit down and slide down the slide, with me going next. That slide was scary! It was pitch-black on the top, with water shooting down, and it was long. I actually happened to slow down in the middle, and a person overshot me, apologizing. When I got to the bottom and got my bearings, I saw the same small kid standing next to the exit of the slide. I approached him and tried asking whether he is looking for his mommy and whether I should help him. I did not want to grab his hand until he understood what I was planning to do. Finally he agreed to go with me. I tried approaching another lifeguard, who just offered to contact his supervisor. Luckily, at that moment the boy's mother appeared, distraught, and apologetic. He was supposed to be with somebody else, and then he got lost. I totally sympathize with her: unless the kids are on a leash, in a large space like that someone is bound to get separated.

After this whole experience, I wonder whether this boy will develop fear of the dark, or fear of heights, or of water parks, or of life guards. I wonder whether I should have done something at the top of a slide, but I could not imagine that a life guard would just shove a small kid down a slide to get him off his hands. In a bigger way, I wonder how our kids get treated in a larger world. Is everyone nice and thoughtful and kind, or are people mean and short-tempered and your kid just gets in the way?

After the water park, we went to bumper cars. 8 yo said that he will ride on his own. I saw that he had trouble with his car, causing a traffic jam. I saw that people kept on telling him to turn the steering wheel all the way to the right and then gun it, to get out. I saw that he was not listening. I kept my mouth shut about the whole experience. Either he will get better next time, or he will ride with someone.

Our last two activities were a metal chain carousel and a roller coaster. Right as the carousel took off and started looping, my stomach let me know that I am not fifteen any more. I just closed my eyes and tried to relax. No such luck. Moreover, then 8 yo asked me to come with him on a nearby roller coaster. I said that he could go on his own, but he wanted company. There was no wait, so we got on pretty quickly. This was one major ride, with big drops and multiple loops. When it was over, I was not sure how I will walk, let alone drive us home. I was thinking back to all the grown-ups from my high school days: how were THEY able to ride and not lose their lunch?

Finally, the earth solidified somehow, and I calmed down enough to drive us home. 8 yo proudly announced that he went on that last roller coaster for his brother; to say that he tried it, but it was a bit too much. He also confessed that he kept his eyes shut the whole ride. I find it amusing that his brother was able to control him even in his absence.

unsupervised backyard dig

In my house, a major part of what kids are doing is working on "the pit" in the backyard. It is a clubhouse, a rain shelter, a guard tower. Once or twice I was asked to come out there and inspect it. Overall, though, they are perfectly happy trudging up the hill behind our house with shovels and disappearing into the thicket. leaving me behind.

Overall, and especially with unschooling this week, I let them be. They come back, eventually, sweaty and muddy. The weather is warm enough so only clothes need to be shed, not the winter jackets. The huge clunks of mud are scraped off on the ridges of front steps, but that red clay still makes its way into the coat closet, to dry and fall off and disintegrate into dust, covering the knees of baby's pajamas. He pulls up by the front screen door now, asking them to take him along.

I do not supervise the digging and the backyard exploring. Whichever conflicts they have, they work out on their own. Occasionally someone might come in crying, but it is usually more fun to be out there.

I do not always view all this digging favorably, especially when I am the one stuck cleaning up the mud or washing yet another load of laundry. Sometimes I wish they did something more productive and useful. Sometimes I wish they did something more academic. Sometimes I wish they were in school, clean and neat.

And bored.

And wishing to be out there in the back, digging in a pit of mud, covering it with pine branches and old shower curtain; crafting a desk and decks and other spaces discrete only in the rules of their game.

Play is so fundamental to humans. Freedom to explore and make mistakes and try things out without any grown-up oversight: why should this be saved up for college instead of being an essence of childhood?

One of things I bemoan is living in a place without sidewalks, without a library or a park within walking distance, on a block without other kids my kids' age. I wish they had a gang, a group. I wish that I could send them to a corner store with a ten dollar bill to buy milk. I wish there was somewhere for them to walk to on their own. I wish that it would be viewed as normal. Moreover, I think that my kids do not wish those things because they expect to be driven to places and rely on grown-ups to get them there. I saw a statistic that fewer teens are getting their permits and licenses, presumably because they see no need in having the independence of a car. That scares me.

But back to play. I even have a nice article backing me up that unsupervised play today is in danger of disappearing. Caution: it might cause severe nostalgia for your own wild childhood, because, chances are, whichever childhood you had, it was more adventurous than whatever your kids are getting.

A reminder to myself that there are good days

Yesterday was irrevocably rotten, so rotten that I did not even had energy to post about it.

Today my husband took the three older kids to shul for shacharit and then to Publix for bagels and to Starbucks for hot chocolate. It's a new thing: when he makes it to shacharit, he brings 9 yo, but now the others like to tag along. Once in a while he gets then this breakfast out. Meanwhile, my adorable little baby decided to make up for the absence of siblings by requiring as much attention as three kids. Somehow I got myself and him through breakfast. He was so cranky that I tucked him in for a nap before the older ones got back.

They unloaded the dishwasher, and then I sat the boys down and told them that we will do four school items today: two before co-op classes and two after. I asked to do Chumash first, since the baby was sleeping and it was quiet. 7 yo went first: he is almost done with Lech Lecha. We are finishing up with Bright Beginnings, but he is getting more comfortable with the vocabulary and I can even cover up English and he tries to translate on his own. The exercises are a piece of cake. His reading has also improved. He zoomed through it, did the exercises and listened to baal koreh. 9 yo came next, with a bit of resistance. We are finishing up Schem and Dina and we are up to the pasuk where Shimon and Levi plunder the city. After he read and translated, he asked me whether it was right for them to kill everybody. I asked him what he would have done and he said, just kill Schem and Hamor. I asked him to think of some advantages and disadvantages of this plan. Ultimately, he said that they were not right, and because of this they did not receive a bracha from Yakov.

Then we did megilla. 7 yo threw a small tantrum that he is not doing megillah; it is too hard. I let him be. 9 yo was finishing third perek. Conveniently, the word for plunder and children reappeared here in the same form as in his Chumash, so he was able to translate that part. By now I suspect that he has the story memorized in English, so he was fill in the unfamiliar words based on what they should mean. It is also possible that doing megilla third time around is easy (this kid also has amazing memory).

The baby woke up and we rushed to the co-op. This was the second week of classes. 3 yo is taking Beasts and Botany class, where she plants and draws. Her second class is art exploration; more drawing and craft projects. 7 yo is taking Amazing Space and Battles and Weapons, taught by yours truly. 9 yo is taking Spark talks ( similar to TED talks, a public speaking class) and Battles and Weapons. I help out in the toddler room the first hour and teach the second. It is a crazy schedule, it is hectic, and the class that I am teaching is not something I am naturally interested in. However, by now I read so much about all different military equipment and strategies, that I am semi-enthusiastic.

Last week we learned about hoplites of Alexander the Great and talked a bit about the Battle of Gaugamela. This week we reviewed the hoplite armor and made a full-sized suit. There are 5 kids in a class, so everyone got to participate. We traced a hula hoop on cardboard for a shield and then decorated it. I got a long skinny PVC pipe and we attached a metal cone to make it into a spear. The kids designed body armor by themselves and figured out how to tape it together so it would hold. Finally, we made the helmet: I had a plastic hard hat, to which we attached cheek flaps and a face shape, with cut-outs for eyes. Some kids worked on cutting pipe cleaners and making them into a crest. All in all, we got a nice set of hoplite armor. The kids took turns trying it on.

By this point, the baby had more that enough of the co-op, so we left for home. The baby fell asleep in the ar and transferred to his crib, thank G-d. I was able to have a quiet lunch with the kids and then we moved on with out school work. It was not all smooth: 7 yo still resisted doing megilla, but ended up doing it just fine. He read the fourth perek in English and then we sat together and he read fill-in-the-blank Hebrew page. 9 yo had to redo some of his grammar and math. I am using a small paperback for grammar, and I am not very impressed with it, but it is assuaging "mommy guilt" for not teaching my child formal English instruction. In math we are doing geometry, specifically triangles. He had to draw a few, with specified angles, and he kept trying to draw them without a ruler. I had to bring him back to fix his work.

7 yo did a review in math. He finished the first unit of 3rd grade Math Mammoth. He has no difficulty with it whatsoever. Funny kid: second grade Math Mammoth was too much, but now third grade is no problem.

Then we went to taekwondo. My in-laws came in and watched the two youngers while I took the boys. I went to the farmer's market while the boys were exercising. When we got home, I finished putting the dinner together. It was a hit: crock pot salami in tomato sauce, fried polenta slices, and broccoli slaw. We washed the younger ones and I put the baby to sleep. My husband tucked in the older kids. Now they have "Moishy story": he is telling them Yetsiat Mitzrayim in a funny way ( Moishy could not say: Moishy sells sheep by the seashore because of a lisp; Moishy's staff is called stickosaurus; Paro is in DeNial). All of a sudden, after years of kids always clamoring for mommy, it is daddy and his stories that they want.

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I have been hard on myself lately: I am not doing any Jewish learning, I keep missing class opportunities, I dropp my Nach Yomi. The other day I realized: I am learning a lot. I am doing the entire Breshit with Rashi with 9 yo (I have to read all the Rashi to select the ones that I find good for explaining p'shat difficulties), I am reviewing Lech Lecha, I am doing Megillah and Mishna Pesachim. I do not have control over what I am learning, but I am learning along with my kids.

snowy day

Since we actually got snow and ice, I declared today to be a snow day. We have not been having very good days lately, and I have been quite anxious about my husband being at the hospital overnight while I was home with constant talk of losing power and heat and water. I was snappy, and the kids were not cooperating.

So this morning I said that today will be snow day, only chumash and mishna for 9 yo ( his rebbi walked to our house; I am so impressed with his level of commitment, and I think it made an impression on 9 yo, too). 9 yo finished Sanhedrin today.

The kids were not even eager to get out into all this. I thought: they have been hearing all the crazy things about ice and snow, so why would they think there is any fun to be out there? Meanwhile I got dressed and marched out, at 8 am, using the opportunity of my husband being around.

I was the only person out. It was still snowing, and beautiful. I kept stopping to look around and take pictures. As I turned around to come back, I was confronted with a set of footprints in the snow, my footprints. I have not been so starkly aware of the path I leave behind me. I was retracing my steps and clearly saw: here I slipped, here I dragged my legs, here I stopped. It is so easy to think that what I do and how I do it does not matter, but here I had a material evidence of my mark.

When I got back, the boys went out to shovel and play. They sledded in the backyard on a roll-up plastic sled I got in Goodwill years ago, made little snowpeople and scraped off the cars. 7 yo came in first; he was hungry for breakfast. 9 yo stayed out close to an hour.

By noon the sun came out, and everything started the melt. By the end of the day, snow remained only on the lawn. I was so glad that I did not tell kids to do schoolwork today and instead let them go out there and enjoy this brief winter visit.

 This video is from yesterday. It is baby's first experience in the snow. He loved crawling in it.

shabbos conversations

Friday night. We are discussing the clothes that the kohanim wore, from this week's parsha. I am trying to figure out whether the boys know the proper terminology for the turbans.
9 yo: "Do you mean the one that looks like a volcano, or the one that looks like nuclear explosion?"

The Turban, wound as a "Mitznefet" (left) for the Kohen Gadol
 and as a "Migba'at" (right) for the ordinary Kohenhttp://www.chabad.org/parshah/in-depth/plainBody_cdo/MosadTitle2/Chabad.org/AID/1325/SagesID/1324

I chuckle, and say: "So what do you call the one that looks like nuclear explosion?"
7 yo: "A mushroom cloud!"
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My husband was called up to the hospital three separate times this Shabbos. He did not get much sleep, and totally missed shul. At least he was home for the meals. As we are sitting down, and he starts a popular shabbos song: "Menucha ve'simcha (Rest and happiness)" he says how he did not have either. I said that the rest part was not up to him, but happiness is still in his hands. And we did end up having a joyous Shabbos, with book reading, parsha questions, boys wrestling and calm atmosphere.
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At the third meal, 9 yo blurts out: "Disney totally killed Pocahontas! That is not how it happened. She was forced to marry that English guy." I asked him how he knows this, and he said that he read enough history books. I am feeling sort of glad that he is not in a traditional history class.

when life gives you snow...

 When life gives you snow in the South, and you will probably not see snow for the next four years, and your husband still did not make it home, make maple snow candy!

We boiled maple syrup for close to an hour, The snow we collected yesterday, and it spent the night on the porch.

We poured syrup onto the snow, and it hardened.

The tacky candy was delicious! The boys' teeth stuck together and we talked about the pig from "Farmer Boy" who also could not open its mouth full of tacky candy.

a great day

Today was such a good day, that it would be a disservice not to share it. There were almost tantrums, and almost meltdowns, and, as I am typing this, my kitchen is a mess and I have not made anything for shabbos, and my husband is dealing with ectopic (translation: reinforcements not arriving any time soon), but the day was lovely.

We did schoolwork in the morning. 9 yo did division with remainders, a story from S'fateinu about Tu BShvat, mishna with his rebbi and chumash. We are reviewing Vayetze, and we are almost done. 7 yo did math (review of addition with regrouping), chumash (Bright Beginnings), spelling ( copy the names of seven types of fruit from Israel both in English and in Hebrew) and S'fateinu.

Then we had friends over for Tu B'Shvat party. The kids made pine cone bird feeders, planted parsley seeds for karpas to use on Pesach, made a few brachot and ate all different fruits. Mostly, they just played, hung out, and had a good time.


After the party was over, 4 yo got out the vacuum cleaner and started cleaning up. She was really trying, and even dragged it from room to room, looking for more things to vacuum. I praised her efforts, even though I knew that I will have to sweep up later. I learned that this sense of doing something useful is more important than critiquing a final result. She will have the rest of her life to learn how to vacuum properly. Now she is learning that vacuuming is fun.











Then the baby went for a nap and I made chocolate chip cookies with 7 yo. He has been asking me for a long time to cook something with him, but every time something came up. Yesterday, when he asked to make a dessert together, I decided to commit firmly. I did not allow other kids join him unless he was interested. Onto the shabbos menu went the cookies. So when it was finally quiet, it was cookie-making time.

This boy really did everything by himself. He read the recipe, collected the necessary ingredients, found measuring cups and spoons and followed the steps. I did not help unless I was asked, and that happened rarely. I helped with the flour, but mostly I kept my mouth shut and just watched. He cracked the eggs. I did not say anything when one of them missed the mixing bowl. He cheerfully cleaned it up and got another. He figured out that three teaspoons make a tablespoon. He molded the first batch, called the beater for licking, and I just marveled at how much he knows about cooking. My 9 yo is still not sure where I keep everything in the kitchen, but this kid knows his way around.

When I saw him reading later on, I gently reminded about Read to Succeed, and how he might want to keep track. He dissolved on the spot: I do not want to go to Six Flags, I cannot read for 6 hours, I cannot write this all down... I calmly suggested keeping track of how long he is reading now, and just write down this little bit. It turned out that he read for 40 minutes (I let him do the calculations), and he had no issues writing this down.

For dinner I had a crockpot stew with quinoa and kale chips. These tend to be touch-and-go, but everyone found some part of dinner that they liked.

After everyone got into pajamas, I sent 7 yo and 4 yo downstairs to clean up the basement. I heard the vacuum cleaner go on, and when they came up, they said it looked good. I reviewed mishna with 9 yo.  Then I put the baby down for the night.

They boys asked to sew. 9 yo saw a design for kimono in one of his history-comes-alive books, so he has been after me to make one. I suggested that he starts with making a doll-sized one, but he was not having it. This time I said that we will start with sewing on a button. It's a skill worth having even if he kimono ambitions do not actualize. I found old shirts of mine and I was planning to cut them into scraps for each kid, when they called the sleeves. I cut the sleeves off and then the boys said that they will sew on the buttons as eyes. Everyone was able to thread their needle. I had to make the knots for them. I showed each one how to sew on a button, and how to make a stem under it. They both sewed on two, and then sewed the ends of the sleeve shut. 7 yo, while sewing said that this is what he wants to learn how to do: to sew and to cook. I have a budding "husband of the year." But the real secret is that my husband sews and cooks, so my boys do not see it as woman's work. 4 yo picked out her buttons, and I sewed them onto her sleeve. It was idyllic, almost out of scene: kids sitting around the table, busily sewing...

When they finished, they showed off their sleeve puppets. All of a sudden they turned into sleeve eels.

Next thing I know, they are night caps.

Roman breakfast

I woke up this morning to a smell of coffee (and yelling from the baby). 9 yo, who woke me and the baby up the previous morning at 6 am and got severely chastised for it, decided to make it up to me by making me a cup of coffee. I was most appreciative. As I was nursing the baby on the couch, 9 yo wanted to pull up a TV tray table and serve me breakfast on the couch. Very cute and sweet, but I was worried about my crawling baby dropping the whole breakfast on the floor and the table on his head. 9 yo would not let such difficulties get in the way of his plan. He wanted to bring up a baby fence that is in the garage, but it was too heavy to be hauled up the stairs. Then he improvised by rearranging the furniture and making a barrier around the couch and the table. Next, I see him pulling out my heavy Kitchenaid, to make special french bread. I told him that it will not be ready till lunch, but I have some frozen baguettes that he can thaw and bake.

He set the folding tables, then took out cheese and butter. He got an apple slicer and sliced two apples. As a final touch, he got a bottle of juice. 9 yo and his sister had quite a nice breakfast on the couches. Next thing I know, it is a Roman breakfast since they are eating while reclining, and he's a sentry, not a servant, so he won't clean it up. Meanwhile, I joined my husband for a breakfast at the ordinary kitchen table, to the protests from the reclining quarters.

Luckily for me, the sentry turned back into a servant, and did clean up, Then he turned back into a boy who did not mind bentching and davening Hallel for Rosh Chodesh. 7 yo managed to sleep through all of that, till almost 9 am.

The kids had great fun, their needs were met, and even one of my needs was met. Today would have been the day to send 9 yo to school, as everyone came back from winter break. I am grateful that I had a talk with him and decided to keep him home, for now. I am grateful that we replaced the morning rush out the door with a spontaneous leisurely Roman breakfast.

Great Friday night

It hasn't happened in such a long time, that I almost forgot how fun we can all be. Between the day-to-day stresses of running a household, between my husband working, between the diagnosis of 7 yo and possibility of school for 9 yo, between the baby still not quite sleeping through the night, it is so easy to be constantly in a crisis managing mode, and oh-so-serious.

What we all needed was a break, and we somehow pulled it off this Friday night. We had no company, not even my in-laws. I made a very simple meal: curry cauliflower soup from "Manna from Heaven" that my kids adore, salmon, potatoes and salad. For dessert we had a banana cream pie from Walmart sale rack (9 yo said it tasted like fluoride treatment at the dentist, but it sure looked good!) On Friday morning the kids listened to Rabbi Juravel on the parsha from shabbat.com. I am not so comfortable with the amount of misrashim that he puts into story, but he gets kids engaged and they do know what is there, and are eager to discuss it, so for now, that is our parsha learning.

My husband got home early enough before shabbos to clean the house a bit. I am not talking spic and span, more so one can walk without stepping on Cheerios. The local minyan around the corner was not happening this week, so he stayed home for mincha and maariv. We even sang a bit of Lecha Dodi. My boys do not want to go to shul with him, so for them, it was not so different from a regular Friday night.

Once we made kiddush and hamotzi, and the meal got on its way, we started talking about the parsha. We give out jelly beans for answering a good question, and they are age-appropriate for each kid. 3 yo was not engaging, even though she heard quite a bit of the parsha, so I decided to do a bit of acting with her. I told her that she will be Miriam, and her doll will be Moshe. She loved having a mission to put her baby brother into a basket and watch him go down the river. My husband was playing the role of Egyptian princess, and 7 yo was his maidservant. A pool noodle (I had it under the couch to prevent the toys form rolling there, but it was appropriated as a weapon) was used as a long arm to reach the baby. My husband was pretty funny, claiming that he has no idea what to do with this baby, dangling the doll by one leg upside down. The kids were giggling. I sent 3 yo over, to offer to bring the baby's mother to nurse this baby. By this point, her real baby brother was trying to climb into the basket, and she was pushing him out, making space for doll Moshe.

Then the boys asked to act out Moshe and the burning bush. They assigned roles: 9 yo--Hashem's voice, 7 yo--lost sheep, 3 yo--snake, my husband as Moshe and I was the burning bush. The baby was just free crawling through this all. I got to wave the bright orange pillows, 3 yo kept jumping up and hissing, and sheep was bleating, and Hashem and Moshe has a very interesting conversation. The baby took off with Moshe's discarded shoes. The above-mentioned pool noodle became a staff, but then it morphed into a phone line. We all dissolved into laughter.

While I tucked in the baby, my husband read a good night story to the older kids. The whole night was just so nice and light-hearted, and fun.

As a baalat teshuva, I did not grow up with Shabbos. I did not go away to camp, and I did not go to Israel, so I do not have that amazing uplifting spiritual treasure trove of Shabbos experiences to tap into.  Every now and then I get a glimpse of this alternate spiritual state that is Shabbos. I fret about it, I wish I knew how to maintain it and bring it to my family regularly. We keep Shabbos, we refrain from melacha and make kiddush. We daven, we go to shul and discuss parsha. And yet, often, that Shabbos feeling is not there. My husband might get called up, the kids sulk, I sulk, too much pressure to entertain and have company and go out, and socialize. I know it can be simple, but in the day-to-day living, it is so easy to lose track of how simple it can be.

I decided not to have people over any Shabbos that my husband might be called up. I also think that we need to establish one Shabbos a month when it is just us, and I can make a very simple meal, so that the emphasis will be on having a good time together.

reading and unschooling

While I am not a fan of using a test as a tool to assess anyone's abilities, now that 7 yo has been "tested", I would like to share one little insight.

He scored really high in reading.

His word reading is on 5th grade level. His verbal comprehension (finding similar words and defining provided words) are at 95th and 98th percentile. Before anyone thinks that I am boasting, I am providing these numbers to make one very important point: this kid NEVER did a comprehension exercise in his life, neither he did a vocabulary exercise. He was not drilled, and he did not practice.

He was not an early reader. He did not admit to recognizing the first letter of his name till he was almost five. He did not learn letters early, or show interest in reading. The only reading practice that I formally did with him was BOB books, and some beginning readers from the library.

What can his high scores be attributed to?

I do not think "oh, he's a genius". I think it is a combination of our home environment with a certain ethic. I used to read bedtime stories to kids every night. When we moved, one of the first places I searched out was the local library, and then we used it, heavily. I picked out the books for kids, they picked out their own books, we attended story time. I took out a ton of books for myself. I spend all my free time reading. The message has been loud and clear: read, read, read! When new books are lying around, tantalizingly close, just waiting to be opened and examined, who can resist.

When 7 yo was in preschool. the complaint that we got was that he always is next to the book shelf, asking someone to read to him. I got my kids books as yom tov gifts. In this environment of very dense literacy, reading is not optional, it is as essential as breathing.

This brings me to an ethic of unshooling: I do not enforce or monitor my kids' reading. We do not have a set time to read. We do not use workbooks or textbooks. I do not check their comprehension, unless they are eager to share what they read. 7 yo occasionally will come and ask me what a particular word means, and I will supply the answer. My kids read everything: chapter books, picture books, comics, atlases, magazines. cereal boxes... Oh, I know I should be choosier, then the first chapter book that 7 yo read would not have been "Captain Underpants". And yet, despite this not all-wholesome literary diet, he is a fluent reader, with great comprehension and vocabulary. He enjoys reading, and he does not view it as a chore or schoolwork.

One final detail: we also listen to books on tape, or, more accurately, on CDs. I get them out of the library, so we have a variety, and they do not cost us a thing. Some of the vocabulary and comprehension could be coming in that way, just listening. I save CDs for car rides, when we are all stuck in a car anyway. I love to load up on them before a big road trip, but even driving around town provides plenty of opportunities to listen.

a small miracle happened here

Tonight, an hour before it was time for kids to get into bed, I casually suggested that they do some Chanukah decoration. I have been casually suggesting it for the past week, especially if someone came up interested in a project, but it hadn't taken off. Tonight the moment was right, so the three olders busily got something going. 9 yo was making an ancient poster:

3 yo was coloring in some pages that I printed earlier during the week from chinuch.org.

7 yo was set on making a shamash holder from one of his Chanukah books, but then he decided to look into making Chanukah treats: edible dreidels and menorah. I suggested that he write down the shopping list of what we need. I cannot tell how many times we have found ourselves in this situation: he comes up with a project with multiple items, I suggest making a list of what he needs, he balks, and that's the end of it. Tonight a small miracle took place. He said, OK, went to the fridge, tore off a shopping list form, and copied the ingredients that we are missing. I was barely containing my excitement, he finally had to write and just wrote, no freak-out, no meltdown, no avoidance. He even had to write down Hershey kisses, which he could not copy. He asked for help. I told him to write down "her" and he capitalized it, then he said, "sh" and then "e". I added "y". For "kisses" he wrote "kise', then said that it's not right, switched "e" for "s" and remembered "es". To top off tonight's feat, he also colored in the lines.

Not huge accomplishments for a 7 yo, I know, but these are good strides in the right direction.

I leave you with an image of Pikachu helping Maccabees out, courtesy of 9 yo.

running errands with kids

I drag my kids everywhere. I have no choice: I do not have babysitter/housekeeper/au pair/neighbor whom I can drop the kids off with while I run my errands. Sometimes my husband can run some errands for me, but that depends on whether he will get called up or not, so his errands skew towards non-essential or 24 hr Kroger variety. All the other errands are on me, and that means that I grocery-shop with kids.

I have two secrets: practice and expectations.

Practice: I need food every week, often more than once per week. The means that we hit a grocery store 4-8 times a month. That also means that we have lots of chances to work out how the visit will go. The kids know how to come out of the car in a busy parking lot, how to help younger siblings unbuckle, how to push a younger sibling in a cart or stroller, how to cross a parking lot and how to navigate the store. They know which store's bakery gives out cookies ( if you ask nicely), and how to do self-check-out. They also know that if they help me, it will go faster. I use Myshopi app and always come with a shopping list, so we spend very little time wandering around aimlessly. The kids do not always want to come, and it does not always go smoothly, but because of the sheer bulk of these shopping trips, they get plenty of practice.

Expectations: since we end up shopping so much, they kids know my expectations. They will not throw a fit in the candy aisle: I will not get that candy anyway. They can pick one cereal that they like, but I will ask to pick the one with the least sugar. Then it's up to them to work out which cereal goes in the cart. They will not run off, since I expect the boys to help me maneuver the cart and the stroller. I expect help when I am loading and unloading groceries. All of these work because we shop so much.

Before Succot started, I had a crazy day when I had to take care of multiple errands. First, it was the chiropractor, then I had to get some groceries, pick up mail from a UPS store, laminate posters for the succah and buy wooden clothespins for 7 yo's trivet project. I also needed to drop off the books at the library. All of this had to be completed by 3 pm, when our backyard would be sprayed for mosquitoes. Some days I could have looked at this day and thrown in the towel before even getting started. However, it worked out well. After the chiropractor, I came back to the neighborhood closer to our house. I parked near a laminating place, then walked with the kids to the local grocery store's take-out counter for lunch. I do not do this often, but I figured it will save time instead of going back home and then going back out again. It also put everyone in a good mood. The boys helped me carry food to the tables, thanked me for their hot dogs and even helped clean up when the baby knocked over my container. They helped me shop and carried the groceries to the car. Then they held doors while I picked up mail. While the posters were getting laminated, I asked the boys to find card stock, since we used up all that we had and they did. Afterwards, we went to a hardware store, looking for clothespins. 9 yo pushed the stroller, 7 yo and 3 yo played some kind of imagination game, and I smiled, thinking how idyllic this is, walking down the sidewalk on a sunny day, getting things done and enjoying the company of my kids. At that moment, 9 yo told me how much he is enjoying this day., and I knew that it was truly pleasant.

We fund the clothespins and stopped by a game shop so that 9 yo could ask a few questions about Nintendo DS ( he finally got it, but that's a topic for a different post). Then we all loaded in the car and drove to the library. One of the boys dropped the books off and we made it home just in time.

It is so easy to discount all of this. My kids are not perfect and we've had our share of disasters. 7 yo once hid from me in Costco, and I could not find him. I had to call security. It is equally easy to say that we should not waste so much time on shopping and errands. Maybe they should be sitting down and learning something, producing, creating, feverishly filling out worksheets. After all, you can proudly display a worksheet on the refrigerator; you cannot hang up a memory of a great day when everyone was pleasant and well-behaved. Maybe this is bitul Torah (wasting time not learning Torah). But one needs derech erets (proper behavior) before learning Torah, otherwise what is the point of all the learning, if it's all hypothetical. And in the real world, people still need to buy groceries. People need to plan ahead and stand in lines. People have to interact with other adults and ask for products. People need to know how to walk on the sidewalk so that others could pass.

Finally, people need to know how to acknowledge that they are having a great day in each other's company.

mishna and Pythagorean theorem

altar with the ramp and aravos towering over

Today 9 yo had his mishna lesson. He is in 4th chapter of mishna Succah. His teacher asked him at the end what kind of review he wanted and he said that he wanted to build a mizbeach (altar) surrounded by aravot (willow branches). His teacher agreed, but it ended up being up to me to enforce it. When the time came, he built a slapdash quick version out of construction paper. I said that it is unacceptable and it needs to be scaled properly. He was annoyed, as by that point whatever idea he had from the morning left his head. Then he said that he does not know how to build to scale. I used example of Legos and said that one ama ( hand span) could be one Lego block. He complained that he did not know the dimensions. I pulled out my handy-dandy Mishkan book and showed him a  picture, with all dimensions and descriptions. He took it downstairs and started building.

His final product was all yellow, to reflect the color of copper, I guess. It was ten amos high and five amos on each side. Then the discussion turned to the ramp. He found a Lego block which can pivot and attached flat boards to it. He excitedly said that he knows the ramp to be 30 amos.

While I was making dinner, and he was finishing building, an idea crossed my mind. When he brought the final model up, I asked him, which dimension of the ramp was 30 amos? Of course it was the base, but, as I expected, he built the actual ramp to be 30 Lego blocks long. I was able to detach it and show him how it makes a difference whether the base is 30 amos, or the ramp part (hypotenuse). Then I told him that there is a simple way to calculate how long the ramp should be, once you know the length of the base and the side. I was also hoping that I will do it correctly, as any calculations while holding a kvetchy baby tend to be off. I counted out loud: "The mizbeach is 10 amos, that's 100 once you square it, and the base is 30 amos, that's 900 squared, add them together and you get 1000. Now the square root of 1000 is..." and I realized that I cannot do it in my head. I discovered that my phone calculator does not have a square root function. 9 yo knew that the one on the computer does. He tried guessing the answer while I was finding an appropriate device for our math. He was surprised by the answer. He tried a few estimates, and played around for a bit, squaring numbers with more and more decimals, approaching closer and closer to 1000.

I told him that there was a Greek by the name of Pythagoras, and made up how he had to build up ramps, too, especially when people got tired of running out of wood. He did not exactly buy my story, and he was not so keen on adding 1.6 amos to his ramp, but we had a great fun with this mizbeach.

A few days ago he expressed fear and upset over falling behind his peers in school. Specifically he mentioned math and fractions and division. I said that I do not think he is behind, but if he's worried, we can do some math. He did not want to do math, he said that he just used it as an example. After we finished our calculations today, I whispered to him that I am pretty sure they are not learning about Pythagoras in fourth grade.

pre-Rosh haShana party

lining the tins for the muffins

By the time I got up this morning, 9 yo greeted me being fully dressed, davened and breakfasted. He even served his sister breakfast. Moreover, he completed his math and script, and left them for me to check. This was all before 7 am, so I was barely keeping my eyes open. When a day starts like this, he is in a good mood, I am pleasantly surprised, and it will be good.

He very agreeably did chumash and even asked Rashi's question on how come the ark did not get stuck on the mountains if it was 30 amos high, and the waters were only 15 amos deep. I just like when he engages with the text like this, in a meaningful way. He was also all revved up ready for his mishna lesson, which went well.

The other kids were not too bad, either. 7 yo got his breakfast, davened and did HWT and math early in the morning. He has addition/subtraction review. For the first time, he looked at the page, saw an overwhelming problem, and listened to my suggestion to skip it and do easy ones first. When he came back to it, it was easy. Then he decided to check which problem had the largest number as its answer. I used to think these were distracting and pointless exercises, but now I know that's the way he relates to math. I read somewhere about other kids doing similar things: wondering why they are adding apples and bananas, asking where the people in the problem are walking, etc. For him, it is about searching some kind of info that is not obvious to me.

chopping walnuts

While 9 yo was doing mishna, we did chumash with 7 yo. He started on a new perek, which he declared to be easy. He loves memorizing the pesukim with trop, and he knows his translations. With him, it is about building confidence, so I am not looking for a lot of in-depth work, just desire to continue learning chumash and feeling that it is accessible to him, something that he is capable of doing.

For 3 yo, I sliced an apple horizontally across and she made apple stamps. We talked about an apple before I sliced it; I asked her what shape it is, which color, whether it is smooth or rough, hard or soft. I told her about the stem and how it grew from an apple tree. She stamped away for a bit.

Then it was 11:30 and we were finished with the planned part of the day (until taekwondo). The anxious side of me felt the need to assign something else, come up with a plan, DO SOMETHING. I suggested going out after lunch and was met with resistance.I wanted to get out of the house, walk outside, go to the park, the museum, somewhere. The kids (except for 3 yo) were not so keen on this. Finally it was after lunch, (which 9 yo skipped since he played computer games and repeatedly ignored calls for food), I said that if they do not want to do anything, I can go to IKEA. Next thing I knew, we were in the middle of planning a "dip your apple in the honey" party. It was to take place this afternoon, in an hour, and would I make some phone calls to invite some friends? The planner in me was blown to shambles. Of course, nobody will come, and who plans a party just like that? The homeschool parent wanted to see how far they will go with this. They came up with apple toss: throw an apple into a hole in the board, draw a picture, have a dipped apple slice. I suggested making a Shana Tova card, blowing a shofar and baking a honey cake. 9 yo added watching Rosh HaShana videos.

honey dipping

Nobody came, but the kids were adamant about the party being today. We made chocolate honey muffins. The boys pulled out the ingredients. 9 yo stirred chocolate and margarine while they melted. 7 yo cracked the eggs. Then we watched the videos: Fountainheads, Maccabeats and Aish's Anthem. Everyone had a go at the shofar. I found a new instructional video and 9 yo actually managed to blow! Last year, he could not do it, so he kept at it. 7 yo decided to make an apple out of Legos. Then everyone came to have apples with honey and muffins.

Then there was taekwondo. When I dropped the boys off, 3 yo said that we should go to the park to meet some friends. The funny part it, one of my homeschooling friends posted just this week how her son declared that they should go walking to make friends, and they did. I guess those homeschool kids know when they are ready to socialize.

All in all, I think how it is easy to measure learning just in terms of the academics we did this morning as opposed to the life skill learning the kids did this afternoon. How many people would plan and pull off a party just because they feel like it today?