An update

We were supposed to move, to a bigger house, in another neighborhood. I spent most of the summer packing, decluttering, and dealing with all the things that come with buying a house. I even spent energy on those hypothetical closets, convincing myself that it will he painful for a bit, and then there will be order.

The house sale fell through, but not early enough to realize that this is not happening. Some paperwork was required at the last minute, and that paperwork was something that we could not produce, no matter how much we pushed, begged and pleaded. Maybe I will write up one day what happens when a doctor gets a frivolous lawsuit and how little it matters who is right. Maybe I will write how some things have nothing to do with prudence and planning and saving. It is ironic that the house prices are so ridiculously inflated that it is impossible to buy a house without financing, no matter how carefully you save. The bottom line was, the same week that we were supposed to move, and all extensions were filed and not even exactly accepted, it became clear that this house is not going to be ours.

That left me in a very bad pickle: I have packed up all the books and most of the homeschool materials. I have taken all the posters off the walls. I was also planning on being near JCC and rely on their homeschool, afterschool, and adult classes for enrichment. We were supposed to be near a community college with its own course offerings. I gingerly checked out homeschool resources near the new location, but I definitely did not sign up for any classes where we live.

3yo made a fire-shooting tail for his dragon.
He is happy as long as he can find scissors, tape and paper

Those who were following this blog know that I also signed up 10 yo for school. First I put him on the bus so I would not have to drive him, then I told the school to take him off since there is no bus from the new location, then I had to beg them to please put him back on the bus since we did not move after all... At least his school bought all the school supplies through PTA and I was not stuck hunting all over town for perfect folders and exact markers. So far, he probably has a more put-together life than we do here.

MIT open course video that 12 y dug up

Since he already started school, I chose to start with 12 yo, 6 yo and 3 yo. But all of my materials are still packed up. And we still might be moving: our house did not grow more space just because the move fell through. The kitchen did not expand, the bedrooms were not added, more children did not move on our block... in short, all the reasons to move are still valid. So I started with whichever resources I happened to have on hand. I'm quickly discovering that if I let 12 yo have a lot of computer time, he will cobble something together. The problem is, without his brother to drag him out to the trampoline, and without classes set up, and without friends popping by, he will not see humans for days. He will not call for a play date (but my 6 yo daughter will!) So do I let this child stay at home and do his own stereotypically nerdy antisocial thing mostly on the computer, or do I set limits, boundaries, force him to go on outings that delight his younger siblings, all in hope of getting him out of the house?

I am also guilty of using him as a babysitter. I do it a lot: he does not want to go to the grocery store, but he will watch the rest of the kids, for example. Often I just want to run an errand by myself, and with all the stress of this "almost move", my need to be by myself is higher than usual. And he is so conveniently at home, and willing to stay at home. I am very conflicted about this. Is it a right thing to do to a 12 yo?

Since all the books are packed up, and I begged boys not to renew their library cards and confirm the addresses till after the move, we have a general lack of reading material. Everyone is listless. 6 yo wants a plan, and all my hopes, dreams, and plans got flushed away, so I swat her inquiries because, frankly, I want a plan, too.

Art supplies are for dumping

Don't forget the baby. She is a firecracker. She screeches on top of her lungs and gets 3 yo involved in yelling competitions. She is not walking (we are starting physical therapy which I need right now like a hole in my head). She is climbing instead, pulling herself up onto the couch and the chairs and the bay window. Then she launches herself down, body-slamming into the cushions. I worry that she will crack her head open. 10 yo worries with me, to the point that he cannot sit still and eat if she's on the couch. It's a good thing that he is in school most of the day, missing her antics. She crawls across our laps as I try to read to 6 yo and 3 yo. She pulls the books out of our hands and has been pulling 3 yo's hair. Thank G-d he's a mellow sweet child, who had not smacked her back. She destroys his puzzle, she dumps the crayons and the drawers full of clothes. When she had her fill of destruction, she heads over to me to be picked up. Then she wants to be carried either by me or by one of the kids. The baby is cute, but she is not easy, and she does not make any of our lives easy either.

12 yo helps make armor.

We have started homeschooling, but I have no idea where this year will take us. I know everyone loves the first day of school pictures, with their promise of new beginnings and order. I bring to you the messy reality. I also hope that those homeschoolers who have not started yet and dread seeing yet another post about organized resources will not feel so bad about hot having it all together.

First day of school.
Typical uniforms.
The boys laughed when they realized what they were wearing.

It is our business

Last week, the online Jewish world was abuzz with the disappearance of a teen from Boston. Posters were shared, missing person info passed along, people were asked to pray and keep an eye out. Thank G-d, the child was found and was returned to his family. Postfactum, an article asking to respect the family's privacy appeared. The main point was that it is no longer our business what happened and how the parents will deal with the situation. I agree with this point; going further into this story would just feed unhealthy voyeurism. But there is one piece of this story that we have to make our business.

For three days, the story dominated my Facebook feed. Thousands of people were involved. The publicity that the story received, undoubtedly helped find the boy. But the publicity has a flip side.

Somewhere, in someone's house, a teen is sitting in front of a screen, following this piece of news. He or she is looking closely at the amount of attention that the story generated. That teen is thinking of running away from home. He is trying to decide whether to do it, or not. And this is where the publicity piece falls in: nobody notices me now, wouldn't it be great if my face was all over Facebook? Would MY parents care to search for me? Would they mount a campaign of such proportions? And the most important piece of all: what will happen when I come back home ( eventually, in some hazy future, all grizzled from my seeing the world)?

For that teen, the most important piece of the story is not how Boston family reunited with their son, but how HIS OWN family would react to his disappearance. Right now, that is the missing piece.

It is easy to say, oh, my child would never do that, run away from home, break my heart, be so thoughtless. Sure, we have our squabbles, but it's not that bad. Especially if you as a parent think that it is not so bad, now is the ripe time to talk to your teen. Tell him what would happen if he decides ever to run away. Tell him that you would be very sad. Tell him that you will move mountains searching for him. Tell him that you will hug him tight when you find him. And tell him that his sorry behind will be grounded in an unimaginable way afterward.

Make this story your business.

first coding lesson

Since 9 yo is so obsessed with computer games, I was planning to look into getting him into a computer class of some kind. I just was not sure whether he would be interested, and I did not want to have another obligation which involved driving.

And then one of the homeschooling parents posted a link to Khan academy where this week everyone is encouraged to spend one hour learning how to write computer code. Khan academy has been on my list of learning resources to check out, so this was a perfect opportunity to try it out and to see whether 9 yo is interested.

Here is the link that we followed:
https://www.khanacademy.org/hour-of-code/hour-of-code-tutorial/v/welcome-hour-of-code

I decided that each boy should have his own time to code, so the first tutorial was watched together, and then I sent 7 yo to play on his DS while 9 yo did the first exercise. I was quite impressed with the way material was presented. There was plenty of time for him to check out different features, and then the exercises encouraged him to get certain parts to fit certain parameters. He was able to design a card at the end. We got rid of the holiday format and he made a birthday card for his aunt. 9 yo persistently worked with the program, and did not seem to rush through it. He enjoyed it, and I am planning to look into more tutorials for him.

With 7 yo , it was not so smooth. He loved watching the videos and I think he understood everything, but the actual programming was a bit more of a challenge. His typing is nonexistent, so it took him a long time to find all the right letters. In the good news, he typed more today than he ever typed in his life. The precise nature of programming and the constant distraction of being notified of mistakes was not so good for him. By the time he came to the last exercise of making his own card, he got sloppy and his tolerance for error went way down. He melted down before completing the card, but he was able to do all the other steps in the tutorial.

If you are looking to expose your kids to programming, or are interested in trying it yourself, this is a great opportunity.

-------

My father was a programmer. He was very much after me and my sister to write programs in BASIC. But back in the eighties, we did not have access to a computer. Moreover, the programs were not this colorful and creative bonanza. It was hard to imagine what the final result would look like. I was a disappointment, not so interested in all this programming.

Lo and behold. when I hit graduate school, all of a sudden I was expected to pick up UNIX on a fly since all molecular modeling was done in UNIX. There was no time to fool around and see how it works. I found myself feverishly writing down commands in a notebook  hoping to use them in a correct sequence next time I will expected to work on a model. That was  not a forgiving environment, and I do not remember much of those commands.  WHOAMI.

I look at my boys and think: what will happen after today? Will they continue to be interested in tinkering with computer beyond the level of a user, a term my father threw around derisively? Will this be just one day of dabbling and then they will sink right back into their games, not thinking that somebody wrote all of code behind them? Will their path take them to the world where it will be impossible to make it without knowing how to program? How do I know whether to push and encourage them in this area, or wait and see whether it just naturally picks up?

butting heads

Yesterday, we had one of those homeschooling days that look so good on paper and make people want to homeschool their kids. I had a dental appointment first thing in the morning, so I left my husband in charge of getting kids started on their schoolwork. So I got to get out by myself and take care of my health. The boys finished everything on their list by 11, before the baby woke up from his nap. Then we drove to JCPenney to take a family picture. My husband met us there. Afterwards, he went back to work and we went bike riding on a wooded trail near the mall. We saw deer. Then we came home, 9 yo played on his DS while I made tacos for dinner, their favorite, and one of my easiest meals. After dinner, my MIL came over, and I took 9 yo on a one-to-one outing to Costco.

Sounds so ideal, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, it did not go as smoothly as it sounds. While I was at the dentist, and my husband was in charge, 7 yo was supposed to copy number words for his spelling. My husband wrote them in script. 7 yo promptly threw a fit, since he cannot copy script. My husband wrote them all in capitals, and 7 yo copied them just like that. By the time I got back and saw this, I rewrote them in lowercase, and he copied those, too. He also threw a fit about a page of translations in Lashon HaTorah, while 9 yo objected to his mishna assignment. All the time, I was telling the kids that we will need to change into white shirts before we take this photo, and the kids were not listening. Next thing I know, we are running late, 7 yo is throwing a fit that he does not want to wear his shabbos shirt and he does not want to take a picture, while 9 yo is throwing a fit that he wants to be dropped off at home right after the picture because he does not want to go bike riding, he much rather play DS. 7 yo compromised by packing clothes to change into before we go bike riding. Then 3 yo is melting down in the car; she was wearing her jacket, but she does not want to be buckled up on top of her jacket. And I am trying to grab my sheitel and do some sort of make-up. Heck, we are only doing this picture because I got a Groupon and because the last (and only) family picture we took was when 3 yo was 9 months.

So we are driving in the car in silence, since I totally blew my lid. I did not have any lunch, either. And I forgot to pack up water.

When we got to JCPenney, we loosen up, but  now the baby is getting tired, so every time I hold him and try to face him towards the camera, he turns around, looking to nurse. Then I keep on blinking and ruining all those nice shots where everyone else is looking at the camera. Then the boys start making faces. Then 3 yo starts to sulk. Finally, there are some shots which would pass.

I take off my sheitel and tell 7 yo to change into his bike riding clothes. He discovers that he did not bring the bag that he packed. I take them all to the car, hoping that his bag was left there. 9 yo continues his whine how he much rather go home. The bag is not in the car, but I have a bag with emergency change of clothes for all the kids (too many summer wadings). 7 yo changes, strewing his shabbos clothes all over the van. The baby starts his pre-nap growling. We start driving, looking for the parking for this trail. Thankfully, I found it right away. As soon as we get there, the boys unload their bikes and hop right on.  Now 3 yo starts her thing about how she does not want to walk... the baby continues humming to himself, trying to fall asleep. The boys shoot ahead on their bikes, we are moseying along at our pace. Then the boys come back, asking how long it will be taking us to catch up.

I just want to stroll on this warm afternoon, and enjoy the last warm rays of the sun. I just want a bit of quiet. I just want someone to admit that they are having a good time.

We crossed a few bridges, saw ducks and deer grazing in the woods. A stag actually bounded right in front of us, crossing the trail. The boys talked and biked, 3 yo took her time to crunch up the leaves, the baby fell asleep.

Soon, we headed back, to beat the afternoon traffic. As soon as we got home, 9 yo went straight to his DS. I told him, for half an hour. When the time was up, I reminded him to save his game and get off. 7 yo came as an ambassador to notify me that he's in the middle of the battle and will not be getting off in 2 minutes. I said, he either needs to get out, or just to shut it down. He did not comply. I pried the DS away from him. He jumped up in rage, bumped his head on the upper bunk. Next thing, both boys are hysterically yelling at me about how the battle and the game are messed up. And I'm yelling back that I will put DS in the garbage.

I am trying to get the kids to set the table for dinner, but 9 yo is majorly upset. He tells me how deprived he feels of DS time, how other average homeschool kids get more time to play computer games. I do not  have a lot of patience at this point. 7 yo takes a different tack, that of appeasement: he keeps complimenting the food, and thanks me for all the good things that happened today. 9 yo says: "Thanks for the good AND the bad" and breaks down, crying. I give him a minute. Then he asks to do something one-on-one. I tell him how we need an adult to watch the other kids in order to go out.

That's when my MIL comes over and I decide: I need to go to Costco anyway, it is only 6 pm and I can take just him. I ask him whether he would like to do this as an outing, and he agrees. 7 yo's immediate reaction: what about me? But I am firm, and off we go.

We end up talking a bit, and hanging out. He pushes the cart and comments how light it is, without his siblings inside. He plays around, switching the carts in the parking lot. We watch a Vitamix demonstration, where the guy makes spinach "ice cream". I joke that next time I should put spinach in his smoothie and he giggles. He makes me compare the nutritional facts on the crackers and I discover that Ritz is just as healthy as nearby funky seeded cracker. We get to the diapers and we see that Kirkland and Huggies brand are exact same price per diaper and same amount of diapers in a box, yet the boxes are differently shaped. He starts figuring out whether this brand of diapers is more squished than that, and tells me how he would need to measure the area of one side of the box and multiply it by height. I sort of do not care at this point, so I pick the box that is easier to stick under the cart.

When we get to the car, he tells me how he wants to have a day with no rules, which translates into a day of unlimited DS time. I mull it over and tell him that I will let him know in the morning.

Well, the baby decides to throw a two-hour yelling fit in the middle of the night. I rock him, my husband rocks him, but I do not nurse. Around 6:30 am, the door to my bedroom opens, in marches 9 yo hauling his awake baby brother: "Here!' And can I have a day with no rules?" I am still trying to open my eyes. "Yes, you can, just daven and get dressed first."

He is calling it a day with not rules. I'm calling it a mental health day.

Do you end up butting heads with your kids that much?

money, money, money...

We just started a new semester of classes at the coop. 9 yo is signed up for Project-Based Learning class, where he would get guidance to pursue whatever project he chooses and then he would share it with the group. The teacher e-mailed me a short questionnaire for 9 yo to fill out, to learn a bit about him. I printed it out and passed it on to him. He was done pretty quickly and I decided to go over it with him.


The first question was: What is the coolest thing in your house? His answer: money.
Next question: What is the coolest thing you had seen in a friend's house? His answer: Nintendo DS 3D.

I was very upset by these. We are comfortable financially, but not exuberantly wealthy. We do not spend our free time shopping or fantasizing about owning things. We eat out once a month and have not taken any vacations since last November. I am the kind of person who much rather get things for free or as a bargain than pay full price. When we moved to Houston, we went for almost a year without a couch, and almost two  years with one car. We are definitely not keeping up with the Joneses. I had a tzedakah guy shake his head in surprise at our house, not meeting his expectations. Yet my son thinks that the coolest thing we have is money.

We have too many books (my fault) and too many toys. Both my mother and my MIL are in a competition of who will get the kids the next great thing. Right now, 9 yo is obsessed with getting a Nintendo DS. He spent quite a bit of time online comparing prices, looking at options, checking out accessories. At some point he had almost enough allowance and gift money to buy one, but he impulsively spent it here and there and abandoned his dream. I did not mind, I thought this is teaching him fiscal responsibility. By the way, his weekly allowance is $2.25, with a tenth going to tzedakah. When we are talking about such small sums, I do not care what he does with them. As of late, he got quite a bit of gift money, and he revived the DS dream. He spent hours calculating how many weeks of allowance plus recycling it would take him to buy it. He remembered to include sales tax and tried figuring it out, first on his own, and then with some assistance from me. I did not mind this; there is a budgeting lesson in there, not to mention some math. There is working towards a goal. There is delayed gratification and anticipation.

Then my mother decided to be very nice and generous, and is sending him the rest of the sum to get that Nintendo. He became very happy; I became upset. He was getting a lucky break, which nullified all the positive lessons of saving patiently. After a day, his happiness dissolved, as is evidenced by the fact that getting a Nintendo DS is now not as cool as 3D DS he saw in someone's house. And the DS is not even ordered yet! I think he was getting more happiness from browsing and fantasizing about DS than he will get from the actual thing. I mean, if he really needed it, I would have gotten it for him already. And who needs a handheld game?

I spoke to him about how his answer on the questionnaire was not showing what he was like, and he, being honest said that he WISHED he was different and did not want to play computer games all day and not think about money, but that is the true answer.

Is this an age-appropriate fixation? Will it pass? Are your kids thinking about money?

E.T. phone home

Yesterday was a momentous occasion in our household: we pulled off a movie night! Our friends were making aliyah and gave us a whole bunch of video tapes, since we are probably the last people on Earth to have a functional VCR. One of them was E.T. 3 yo was mildly interested in watching it, and I was feeling under the weather, so this seemed like a perfect way to spend an evening. The boys wanted to watch Pokemon, and even started on it, but, due to some discoveries of broken objects by mommy, they were not allowed to finish. So I started the movie with 3 yo, and then 9 yo came to join us, around the time that Elliot discovers E.T. in the shed.


We did watch the whole movie. I was prepared for kids to be scared, and I was prepared for sadness. I have not watched this movie since the first year I came to the States, so my memory of the story line was fuzzy, and I was discovering it alongside my kids. I was prepared for tears, but I was not prepared for 9 yo asking me repeatedly whether E.T. will live. I was not prepared for the amount of times he asked me about what's going on, who is this, what are the doing, and why. I found myself saying: "Just watch" and "I don't know" probably a dozen times. After the movie was over, 9 yo asked why there isn't a narrator to tell you what's going on.

Right now my boys watch primarily Pokemon. I wrote previously about it, and how I dislike it. One commentator chided me for being too harsh on my kids and that this viewing is harmless. I beg to differ. The simplicity of Pokemon, the non-existence of plot, and the narrator constantly telling you what is going on primes their brains into such a passive state of watching, that they are not accustomed to think about what's on the screen, just sit back and enjoy the show. They expect happy endings; even badly defeated Pokemon will retreat and heal. Despite numerous destructions, Team Rocket is sparkling-new in each episode. Nobody gets hurt badly, and everything is predictable. In fact, it is so simple, that I am afraid they might not be able to handle a real movie plot. They are not ready to watch movie for cues and complexity.

I hope that there is also a matter of a developmental stage: now they like the world to be easily explainable, the good always trumping evil, and not too much pain and suffering along the way. I am hoping that with time they will mature enough to watch more complex plots, and read cues without everything being spelled out.

I also wondered whether our litigious society is contributing to the problem. We all laugh at pool signs which tell us that we can drown in a pool. Last week I went peach picking, and there was a sing warning me that it might be a life-threatening activity. Additionally, I had to sign a release, in case something happened to me while engaging in this agricultural activity. I can look at it, and call is ridiculous. Of course, it is possible to get hurt while peach picking. But what about our kids, who see these signs and think: oh, I did not know that I can die while doing this! Somebody else is telling me it is dangerous, therefore, it must be that I cannot draw this conclusion on my own and access the risks. Somebody always has to tell me what to do. If they are not telling me, I am lost.

Speaking of the risks, how many kids are allowed to come home one hour after sundown, as in E.T.? How many kids would be brave enough to investigate a noise in the shed? If E.T. was set in 2013, it might have been a different movie altogether.

lazy days of summer

Yesterday, after spending a whole lot of the morning hours watching Pokemon (and after chumash), 9 yo decided to run a lemonade stand. It sounded so predictable that I was getting teary-eyed: he's doing a stereotypical thing for the kids his age. He wants to make money. He's willing to build it. He will put in some effort, some creativity, experience some frustration and get rewarded for his hard work. Maybe we can tie in some money math. Ahh, the budding entrepreneur, my son...

This is how it actually went:

squeezing the lemons

He wanted to build it and told me that daddy showed him some wood in the garage. When we went to retrieve it, he saw a folding table and decided to use that instead. He needed 7 yo's help to haul it out and set it up by the curb. They dragged over two lawn chairs. I envisioned a huge handmade sign, but 9 yo got on Word and printed one out, with the price and clipart. 7 yo, 3 yo and her friend were in charge of making the lemonade. They got the lemons and juiced them, then I helped with the sugar and water. 7 yo added ice cubes. Meanwhile 9 yo forgot all about the lemonade and went to watch more Pokemon. 7 yo told him that he is ready. They borrowed a toy cash register from 3 yo, got some cups, and set themselves up. They offered me a free cup, for helping.

ready for business

They sat there, waiting for a customer to come. A few cars drove by, as heads expectantly turned and followed them. Nobody stopped. I took a picture and posted it on Facebook, hoping to drum up some business. The responses came from people too far away to buy. The girls left for the swings. More cars, but no stops. The boys poured each other a cup. 3 yo came to get her cash register back. I came out to buy two cups. They did not have enough to make change. 9 yo proposed "buy one, get one free" deal to entice the customers. I pointed out that he cut the price of profit in half.

Shortly, the kids started fighting. The stand was closed for the day. Everything was cleaned up. Pokemon commenced once more.

Afterwards, I spoke to 9 yo what he could have done differently to be more successful. He suggested selling on a busier street and producing more professional signs. We talked about advertising in advance, and putting up fliers throughout the neighborhood. He wanted to make it a fruit juice stand, with more variety, but I sensed that he was discouraged by this whole experience. Oh, how I wished he would have gotten at least one real customer!

Today we reviewed Chumash. 9 yo finished the first perek, and the kiddush part of the second one. He asked about Hashem finishing work on the seventh day, and I brought up Rashi, to which he shuddered and shook, but did it. He also asked me previously about why it is E-lokim and not Hashem, to which I brought another Rashi. I think it is great that he is asking the same p'shat questions that Rashi had, but he finds it annoying that I do not just tell him the answer.

Then we went to the aquarium. Today DeepSea Challenger was making a brief stop in front of the aquarium, so we checked it out first. Yesterday it rained and rained, so looking at a submarine made sense. Then we saw the exhibits. My husband came along and he was surprised by how crowded the aquarium was. I used to be wondering about all the people lolling around during work hours: we are homeschoolers, but don't you all guys have somewhere to be? Now it does not phase me, but he was surprised.

The aquarium is loud and flashy and big. I usually get overwhelmed just by entering it. My kids have their own experiences, touching stingrays and sharks, watching the dive show and the dolphin show, seeing the otters, dissecting a virtual frog. At least, they enjoy it.

As soon as we got home, 9 yo got onto Pokemon.com again. I unplug the kids periodically, for chores. During these breaks they remember all of a sudden that they need to use a bathroom, or that they are hungry or thirsty. Then 9 yo drifts right back.

We shut off TV/computer at 7 pm. Then, after getting pajamas on, 9 yo pulls out a highschool world history textbook and reads it. I am not so sure whether it counteracts the mindlessness of the show. I am sticking to my guns till the end of the week, allowing for unlimited watching/game playing, and I am realizing two things:
   1. It is not as bad as I think.
   2. It is a huge time drain.
For the past three nights, just as I start tucking in the baby, 9 yo mentions how he didn't sped any time with him. I find it funny: they were both under the same roof the whole day, yet his attention was so absorbed by watching that he literally ignored another person. He also complained how I keep interrupting his night reading, because he is not getting in hours and hours of reading he is used to getting. And I wish he chose to watch something that causes neurons to fire, not utterly predictable Pokemon. Good guys are walking along.bad guys show up, good guys get beaten up, pull out a new trick, bad guys are pulverized, good guys seek new adventures. Maybe he likes the predictability of outcomes, while getting an adrenaline rush.

watch date

As I was woken up this morning by a cranky 2 yo, I was greeted by this sight in the living room: 6 yo is sitting on the couch, reading "It's Not the Stork!" 8 yo is sitting nearby, reading a chapter of American History highschool textbook. I guess I could check science and social studies off the list for today.

My kids had a watch date this morning. That's like a playdate, except that you plan to watch movies together. For this, we got together with another homeschooling family. Everyone pulled out their favorite DVD or show. There was Ultraman, Pokemon, Aquaman and Barney. There was freedom of choice both what to watch, whom to watch it with, and whether to watch it.

There was also peace and quiet and semi-civilized tea-drinking for two mommies.

Afterwards, we did do some schoolwork. No, the kids did not gladly grab their pencils and eagerly cracked the books. There was whining and moping (quite a bit) about the two items on the agenda. Both boys did math. 8 yo came up to multiplication of 12s. Those he got quite quickly. Now the challenge is to get the rest of the table down pat so that Bruster's sundae will happen. He was convinced that he was getting it today, but he is still shaky in 7s and 8s. Part of me says: drill it now, and he will thank you later, even if he is not seeing the benefits. Another part says: it will come with necessity and then the motivation will kick in. The reality seems so be somewhere in between. After we finished math, we moved on to Chumash. He finished the second perek of Chayei Sarah, the really long one. Today we just had to review the last pesukim and then I asked him to do a review project. As I was tucking in 2 yo for her nap, he calculated that there are 67 pesukim, and if each pasuk had 4 words, that means that he read 268 words in this perek. I grinned and said that he knew that many pesukim were longer than that, so he has quite an accomplishment on his hands. I did not dare breathe about successful application of multiplication.

6 yo finished reviewing addition facts to 10. He knows them cold now. He also has been listening in to the multiplication practice, and he memorized quite a few of the facts. Sometimes I have to stop him from blurting out the answer before his brother had a chance to think. There are definite advantages to one-room schoolhouse/Montessori multiple grades approach.

8 yo decided to type up a short summary of the perek in Word. This involved fancy fonts and clip-art. Also this involves computer skills and typing. Two birds with one stone...

Fortuitously, I came across this article today. So my kids are learning, but not in a linear, easily assessible fashion. I guess they are getting a modern education.

Postscript: It is 9 pm. I tucked the kids in at 8 pm. At around 8:40, 8 yo wandered out of his room. Highly uncharacteristic, usually when this kid hits the pillow, all you hear is the sweet sound of snoring. He said that he is on edge about something and cannot sleep. When we spoke about it a bit, it turned out to be monsters, with griffin bodies and snouts and claws, watching him. After a bit more talk, he said that it's a scary part from SciQ, and some other movie watching that he did earlier today. No talk about saying Shema again and talking about Hashem's protection seemed to soothe him. I suggested drawing the scary monster tomorrow, and he seemed horrified at the thought.

What have I done? I forgot that this is the same kid who was afraid of dragon in Baby Einstein and of the falling cow in Sesame Street. This is the kid who does not want a movie night because all movies are too scary. Basically, even though he was excited to watch unlimited movies in the company of his friends, his psyche was not ready to process what he saw. When the kids were watching, my friend commented how cartoon violence is removed from people violence. Beneath all the tough big-boy exterior, here is a kid who is not ready for people cruelty and violence.

Big mistake on mommy's part here. We are going back to nature documentaries.

too much Pokemon

My kids got into Pokemon this summer. Really got into it: the cards, the lingo, the games, the stats, the videos. I assumed it is a fad and will pass. But this fad has been fed by 8 yo getting Pokemon cards as a reward for good davening in his groups on Shabbos. I also got the wind that the other boys are not so into Pokemon, so has quite a good time picking.

I have been waiting for this to go away. I gave it months and months. I let them play some games and watch some videos. I let them keep their cards and washed quite a few of them in their pockets. But the love of Pokemon is not diminishing. Moreover, it is all they talk about and play. At least it seems like that. It is consuming a large amount of their time and energy.

I have two choices. The first is to ban Pokemon outright. I tried it the first time around, about 3 years ago. I said that no Pokemon talk will take place at the table and they can talk Pokemon with their friends and not with me. It worked, but the primary reason was that 8 yo was not a fluent reader, and 6 yo could not read at all, so there was no feeding into it. They also did not have stacks and stacks of cards. This time around it will not work.

The second choice is that of quail (slav). When the Jewish people wandered in the dessert, they had mann: a perfect food. But all the wanted was quail, the real meat. The lesson of the quail was that it covered the ground one day, and there were giant heaps of it. It was more that anyone could eat, or wanted to eat. It was coming out of their noses. Afterwards, the people did not ask for quail again.

So I am thinking: oversaturation. I will get some library Pokemon books, I will make them spend a whole day doing just Pokemon games and Pokemon movies. I know that they will reach a point where nobody will want to deal with those Pokemons. My limit setting has been backfiring, so no limit might be just the cure for this malaise.

I am planning this Pokemon marathon for one day next week. Stay tuned...

on limiting electronic media

I do not have any brilliant insights, but I think, the less, the better. I am not against internet, I am not against Facebook and I am not against TV. I am for moderation for all, kids and adults. 

I am also for asking: what is the kid missing out on by being plugged into a particular device?

I have been told numerous times to get a DVD player for all our car trips. Or that people do not know how I can drive without a DVD player. Well, let's think about this for a minute. Twenty years ago, there were not portable DVD players. So, somehow, kids and adults survived long car rides. What would my kids miss out on by being plugged in? Crossing state lines. Learning to read by decoding traffic signs. Deer on the side of the road. Rainbows: I am usually not focusing on those while driving. Making up their own game of car vs. trucks and counting how many trucks we passed. Counting miles to our exit. Limos.

the boys are taking apart the piano 

This morning the boys were all revved up about library reading program. Actually, I think they were revved up by all the new books, and that they could document their reading. I had to pull them away for breakfast and davening, after which they proceeded to read some more. There were pre-reading days, when after davening they asked to watch TV. Today 8 yo opened a crafts book book and decided to make a fan out of magnolia leaves. While outside, he watered the plants. Then he found an old electric piano that got left out in the rain and was not working. So he asked for a screwdriver and started taking it apart. 6 yo joined him. As they opened it up, 6 yo excitedly started tracing all the wires. He found the chip that controlled everything. A few minutes later, some friends came over to play. Then four boys spent two hours taking apart that piano and building ninja fighting ground out of its pieces.

these ripe tomatoes were spotted by  8 yo on one of his outdoor strolls

Would I want my kids to miss on this because they were too busy playing computer games? Part of the reason my kids do not get bored has to do with the fact that they come up with their own entertainment instead of passively absorbing whatever is being shown to them.  

We do not have TV, but a set with VCR. They kids are allowed to watch tapes and DVDs, but once the show is over, it's over. The kids also watch certain things on Netflix, mostly nature documentaries. They saw just about all Nigel Marven series and a ton of shows about dinosaurs. Yes, they also watched all of Dinosaur Train. Lately they watched a bunch of Nova documentaries. The last Netflix movie was World's Funniest Animals. A lot of shows get nixed (by them) because they are too scary, and I do not encourage kids to watch anything that is outside their comfort zone. They boys also occasionally take out a DVD from the library, right now we have a Smithsonian video on food, human accomplishments and wacky race cars. 

As one can see, my kids get their share of electronic entertainment, but I do set limits on what is watched and for how long. We used to battle about watching TV/playing games, but I find it not to be an issue any more. I find that they do not ask as much, and I do not rely on plugging  them in regularly, so they satisfy their watching (and passive absorbing ) need and then they are ready to face the world.

Except for Rosetta Stone, we do not use computer for educational games. They do use Word occasionally to make cards. I got Mavis Beacon for typing but I found that they were not motivated to learn the actual typing, so I cannot recommend that. I am sure that our relationship with computer will change as the boys will be getting older and more and more of their needs will require computer access. As of right now, the outdoors and the books have more lure, and I am quite content with that.