to each their own

As we were in the last hour of Shabbos, I started hearing murmurs about DS playing time. My husband was called up to deliver, the kids were already in pajamas, and I wanted them to be aware that it is still Shabbos. I asked whether I should sing "Shabbos is Going Away" song. My daughter said yes. As I am singing it, I see that she is frowning, then pouting and then outright crying: "Mommy, this song is making me sleepy! And sad!" I hugged her, and comforted her. About three years ago, the same scene replayed, this time with my 9 yo. He asked me not to sing this song, it brings tears to his eyes. I have not sang it since, till tonight.

It is easy to call my kids sheltered. I prefer to call them "sensitive".

-----

After Shabbos, and after everyone was tucked in and the dishes were washed, (and my husband still was not home,) I sat down to take care of some online business. I joke that I hold late office hours. One of the items on my agenda was to place an order through kckoshercoop.com for some food items that we cannot get. 7 yo popped out of bed for the second time. He wanted to sit on the couch, and I wanted to wrap up the order. Then he saw me looking up some products and asked me, why don't I rate them and review them? And a thought was born: what if I get him to type in the ratings and reviews for me? He went for it, composing his sentences, patiently going back and putting in missed spaces, even joking a bit. He sat on my lap, and I kept my mouth shut except to offer spelling assistance when I was asked. He was so calm, even when he had to retype and capitalize and fix his spelling. Actually, for the first time I saw that he can see that the word is spelled incorrectly, and he would go back to change it. When he writes, he gets so would up that I never could figure out where in "creative" spelling he stands, whether he is able to spell at all. He got a special one-on-one mommy time, feeling that he is doing something useful.

butting heads

Yesterday, we had one of those homeschooling days that look so good on paper and make people want to homeschool their kids. I had a dental appointment first thing in the morning, so I left my husband in charge of getting kids started on their schoolwork. So I got to get out by myself and take care of my health. The boys finished everything on their list by 11, before the baby woke up from his nap. Then we drove to JCPenney to take a family picture. My husband met us there. Afterwards, he went back to work and we went bike riding on a wooded trail near the mall. We saw deer. Then we came home, 9 yo played on his DS while I made tacos for dinner, their favorite, and one of my easiest meals. After dinner, my MIL came over, and I took 9 yo on a one-to-one outing to Costco.

Sounds so ideal, doesn't it?

Unfortunately, it did not go as smoothly as it sounds. While I was at the dentist, and my husband was in charge, 7 yo was supposed to copy number words for his spelling. My husband wrote them in script. 7 yo promptly threw a fit, since he cannot copy script. My husband wrote them all in capitals, and 7 yo copied them just like that. By the time I got back and saw this, I rewrote them in lowercase, and he copied those, too. He also threw a fit about a page of translations in Lashon HaTorah, while 9 yo objected to his mishna assignment. All the time, I was telling the kids that we will need to change into white shirts before we take this photo, and the kids were not listening. Next thing I know, we are running late, 7 yo is throwing a fit that he does not want to wear his shabbos shirt and he does not want to take a picture, while 9 yo is throwing a fit that he wants to be dropped off at home right after the picture because he does not want to go bike riding, he much rather play DS. 7 yo compromised by packing clothes to change into before we go bike riding. Then 3 yo is melting down in the car; she was wearing her jacket, but she does not want to be buckled up on top of her jacket. And I am trying to grab my sheitel and do some sort of make-up. Heck, we are only doing this picture because I got a Groupon and because the last (and only) family picture we took was when 3 yo was 9 months.

So we are driving in the car in silence, since I totally blew my lid. I did not have any lunch, either. And I forgot to pack up water.

When we got to JCPenney, we loosen up, but  now the baby is getting tired, so every time I hold him and try to face him towards the camera, he turns around, looking to nurse. Then I keep on blinking and ruining all those nice shots where everyone else is looking at the camera. Then the boys start making faces. Then 3 yo starts to sulk. Finally, there are some shots which would pass.

I take off my sheitel and tell 7 yo to change into his bike riding clothes. He discovers that he did not bring the bag that he packed. I take them all to the car, hoping that his bag was left there. 9 yo continues his whine how he much rather go home. The bag is not in the car, but I have a bag with emergency change of clothes for all the kids (too many summer wadings). 7 yo changes, strewing his shabbos clothes all over the van. The baby starts his pre-nap growling. We start driving, looking for the parking for this trail. Thankfully, I found it right away. As soon as we get there, the boys unload their bikes and hop right on.  Now 3 yo starts her thing about how she does not want to walk... the baby continues humming to himself, trying to fall asleep. The boys shoot ahead on their bikes, we are moseying along at our pace. Then the boys come back, asking how long it will be taking us to catch up.

I just want to stroll on this warm afternoon, and enjoy the last warm rays of the sun. I just want a bit of quiet. I just want someone to admit that they are having a good time.

We crossed a few bridges, saw ducks and deer grazing in the woods. A stag actually bounded right in front of us, crossing the trail. The boys talked and biked, 3 yo took her time to crunch up the leaves, the baby fell asleep.

Soon, we headed back, to beat the afternoon traffic. As soon as we got home, 9 yo went straight to his DS. I told him, for half an hour. When the time was up, I reminded him to save his game and get off. 7 yo came as an ambassador to notify me that he's in the middle of the battle and will not be getting off in 2 minutes. I said, he either needs to get out, or just to shut it down. He did not comply. I pried the DS away from him. He jumped up in rage, bumped his head on the upper bunk. Next thing, both boys are hysterically yelling at me about how the battle and the game are messed up. And I'm yelling back that I will put DS in the garbage.

I am trying to get the kids to set the table for dinner, but 9 yo is majorly upset. He tells me how deprived he feels of DS time, how other average homeschool kids get more time to play computer games. I do not  have a lot of patience at this point. 7 yo takes a different tack, that of appeasement: he keeps complimenting the food, and thanks me for all the good things that happened today. 9 yo says: "Thanks for the good AND the bad" and breaks down, crying. I give him a minute. Then he asks to do something one-on-one. I tell him how we need an adult to watch the other kids in order to go out.

That's when my MIL comes over and I decide: I need to go to Costco anyway, it is only 6 pm and I can take just him. I ask him whether he would like to do this as an outing, and he agrees. 7 yo's immediate reaction: what about me? But I am firm, and off we go.

We end up talking a bit, and hanging out. He pushes the cart and comments how light it is, without his siblings inside. He plays around, switching the carts in the parking lot. We watch a Vitamix demonstration, where the guy makes spinach "ice cream". I joke that next time I should put spinach in his smoothie and he giggles. He makes me compare the nutritional facts on the crackers and I discover that Ritz is just as healthy as nearby funky seeded cracker. We get to the diapers and we see that Kirkland and Huggies brand are exact same price per diaper and same amount of diapers in a box, yet the boxes are differently shaped. He starts figuring out whether this brand of diapers is more squished than that, and tells me how he would need to measure the area of one side of the box and multiply it by height. I sort of do not care at this point, so I pick the box that is easier to stick under the cart.

When we get to the car, he tells me how he wants to have a day with no rules, which translates into a day of unlimited DS time. I mull it over and tell him that I will let him know in the morning.

Well, the baby decides to throw a two-hour yelling fit in the middle of the night. I rock him, my husband rocks him, but I do not nurse. Around 6:30 am, the door to my bedroom opens, in marches 9 yo hauling his awake baby brother: "Here!' And can I have a day with no rules?" I am still trying to open my eyes. "Yes, you can, just daven and get dressed first."

He is calling it a day with not rules. I'm calling it a mental health day.

Do you end up butting heads with your kids that much?

Starbucks siyum

Got up late, for us. It was after 7.  By 9, we were all dressed and breakfasted. They boys davened. 5 yo started with Rosetta Stone: nothing like a little competition for the computer with your older brother to serve as motivation. 7 yo read history from Story of the World. I know that it is meant to be read to a child, but he's nicely reading it by himself. I printed out a map of the Middle East and we marked off Fertile Crescent, Lower and Upper Egypt ( he really liked that they are upside down), Babylonia and Assyria. He also colored in the seas of the region.

Then he went to do Rosetta Stone while 5 yo did Yesh Lanu Lama ( body parts) and ketiva. Today he told me which words to write in which blanks, but the body parts he labeled by himself. I had to restrain him from starting on the next letter.

7 yo came up to do megillah. We finished first perek. He read each pasuk in Hebrew from Artscroll Youth Megilah and then we translated together. He remarked how Achashverosh's law sounded dumb, something that people already knew. Then he asked for a small siyum. I suggested walking to Starbucks; I needed shredded cheese from local kosher grocery. The weather was gorgeous today, so it was a nice little outing. At Starbucks, 5 yo turned around and thanked me for taking them out. Those little spontaneous moments of appreciation make my heart melt.

On the way back, a ladybug landed on my glasses. 7 yo took it off and tried carrying it home, but it bit him and flew away. 5 yo found some beetles on the sidewalk. We stopped by our frost-bitten magnolia and noted how new leaves were forming, even though all blooms were brown and shriveled.

I put up noodles for lunch, and boys did math. 7 yo practiced multiplication of 4s, 5s and 6s. 5 yo worked on even-odd and comparing numbers. 7 yo was checking 5 yo's work; free reinforcement. While the noodles were still boiling, 5 yo brought out weaving board to make a trivet. He started on one a while back, but could not get the weaving part. This time, after making a woven place mat in homeschooling coop, he succeeded. He only put in one loop, but he got the hang and the coordination of alternating under-over.

During lunch, 7 yo suddenly asked why do we remove chametz( leaven) from our houses and not, say, logs for Pesach. I tried answering as quickly as I could, but I wish I would have saved it for a more in-depth, calmer discussion.

Then I read Bill Nye book about germs to both boys. 5 yo read to me The Shape of Me. Then 7 yo did sentences from the megillah, this time I asked him to put them in order of the story. He resisted a bit, but did it in the end. I asked whether he wants to write them down in order now and he said no. We agreed to do it tomorrow. Looks like another overscheduled Friday coming up.

Then 7 yo did a description of a photo from National Geographic. he got 4-5 sentences. I explained that a good description allows people to imagine what the picture is like without seeing it. I also tried introducing a more formal voice, but it might be a bit too hard for him.

5 yo finished handwriting and then I decided to try spelling. I used Spelling Power, just started at the lowest level. I was nicely surprised that he willingly followed along, and got all words right except for that. He wrote dat. Might be my darn Russian accent confusing him...

5 yo reminded me to check on our beans, I put it on the schedule, but completely forgot. Some have molded, but some are growing roots and one even put out leaves. We also checked on the ones in paper towel, there we got nice fat roots and fuzzy root hairs.

Looking forward to taking everyone out to Botanical Gardens this afternoon.

observing kids observe nature

I am typing this to decompress and to avoid folding mounds of laundry...

Yesterday, 7 yo asked to make Mishenichnas "Our Door" sign. At 7:30 am. I printed out multiple page poster, that kept everyone busy and the floor occupied for a bit.

After breakfast, I insisted on some Chumash and I got what I asked for: he told me he does not want to do Vayeira any more. I suggested doing megilah instead, and he read first pasuk. The language is easier in megilah at this point.

Then we went to the nature center, finished off winter hikes on a gorgeous warm day. We saw geese, turtles, ducks. 7 yo wrote in his hike booklet: mallards. I asked 5 yo to write ducks. He got d down and then sat there, not sure what comes next. Not a, not e... t? ( What? Why can this kid sight-read, but he cannot do this?) I told 7 yo to keep his mouth shut and let his brother figure it out. Y? C? After 10 minutes of sitting there and complaining that he has no idea and I should do it, he finally squeezed out u. Then he followed it by c and k, fluently and on his own. Weird.

Then we had lunch at picnic tables. 5 yo laid down on the bench and stayed on his side, not moving, for good five minutes. Just as I began to wonder what is he doing, he informed me that there is a spider under the table and he was watching it. This is the kid who cannot sit still, yet a spider is worthy of his undivided attention. When he was 3, we used to go to arboretum and he just ran and ran ahead, so happy that he does not have to hold anyone's hand or constantly listen. I see him and I know that in traditional school, he would be like a square peg in a round hole.

When we got home, everyone did Moon Dough. Thank you to the genius who invented non-chametz, non-staining, always pliable and sweepable substance. You are highly esteemed in my eyes.

That night was local dayschool's dinner/Chinese auction. My husband got back from work just in time to go, yet he had a patient in labor, so we had a romantic drive there.. in two cars. Past all local adult entertainment. Beyond the train tracks. The event itself was fun, there was boys' choir, and we won one of the prizes: tickets to puppet shows, INK family visits, local art studio time, tickets to the Children's Museum.

Gotta tackle that laundry now... I tried getting boys to help, but somehow " matching socks up" turned into "slapping socks".

home economics

Today was co-op Wednesday. I was out of ideas for things to do with toddlers and we haven't made it to the library to restock on books, so late last night I kept mulling over: cats? dinosaurs? sheep? I settled on faces and printed out some without eyes, figuring we can add sticker eyes and draw hair.

A lot of people were out today, so it was a pretty quiet time. I ended up catching up a bit with a friend of mine and now we have a whole shabbos lunch planned out and another chance at grown-up conversation.

7 yo did clock series in art: he drew pictures of analog and digital clocks, hourglass and sundial. He said that he was influenced by Catlanta(?), some bizarre artists who is still alive and works locally. I think he was amazed that artists could be contemporary, not just dead people.

5 yo came out of his art with Eye of G-d project. It is basically two sticks crossed over, tied with multiple strands of colored yarn. He said it's called eye of G-d in Mexican language. I am staring  at this thing and hoping it is not a cross that my child has been working on... I googled it later, it's not that bad, but will probably be quietly disposed of in the next couple of days.

On the way home, the boys started haggling over the price of sitting in the back seat, where 7 yo sits now. ( I have five car seats in the car now for carpool, so certain spots are off limits and certain others are valuable). He was trying to sell the rights to his seat. We used to have a rule that nothing could be bought or sold, since the older always took advantage of the younger. This time, I bit my tongue and wanted to see where all of this went. At some point, 7 yo was selling his seat for 2 years for all of 5 yo's allowance, which is upward of 20$.
5 yo: But then I will have no money. So you want me to be poor?
7 yo: It's not that I want you to be poor, I want to be rich.
Thinking a bit: How about I pay you back a bit? I can give you a penny every day.
5 yo: And I get to sit in the back? It's a deal!
As we got home, I told boys I will have to think whether this is fair.

We came home and had lunch. Everyone asked for bagels, got their own plates and cleaned up. 2 yo went for a nap. The boys did Rosetta Stone. 5 yo did handwriting and ketiva. I wanted to focus more on lameds, he wanted to move on to pei sofit. To my amazement, he got it.

7 yo asked for spelling, he said it is his favorite. He was a bit discouraged, as he got three words wrong today. One of them was "yelled", he forgot one l. The he tried squeezing it in. Then he blacked out the whole word. I told him that nobody will see his writing, it is only for him to see which words he knows and which need more study. We pulled out a tray of rice for tracing today; as I expected, it was a hit. Then the imagination took over, the boys wanted to add water to it and mold it. That was out of my comfort zone. 5 yo also wanted to trace words in it.

Then the boys did math. 7 yo worked on feet and yards. I was glad that we had a yardstick, because even though he told me that there are three feet in a yard, he could not figure out how many yards are in 4 feet. 5 yo worked more on 2nd grade math. I find it amusing. I get the point of not wasting time on trying to teach kids concepts which are way above their heads. I get the point of waiting and teaching later, but going through the material quicker rather than stretching it out. I get the idea of challenging and prodding out of comfort zone. But the idea of a reluctant child doing math two levels above with ease and WANTING to do it... either this is his strong area and he does not feel that he's being challenged, or I am missing the forces at play. To please mommy? To prove me wrong?

Then there was chumash. I asked 7 yo whether he wanted to start with it. He declined. When we finally got there, 2 yo woke up screaming. She only wanted to pee downstairs. I did not want to take her there. She was screaming, I was impatient, 5 yo was running around. And I was trying to get 7 yo to read Vaeyra. Now it all sounds ridiculous. 7 yo finally broke the impasse by taking her to the downstairs bathroom. We did two more pesukim. In the pshat, it should be Lot talking to the malachim, but it says "vayomer", "and he said". I was waiting for him to ask the obvious, "who is he?" but he did not. I bit my tongue. Maybe it's time for another review sheet of mi amar al mi to refocus. I am realizing that even at our leisurely pace of two pesukim a day, we will be doing 12-14 pesukim a week.

5 yo read a new section from Lama.

Then we headed out to redeem Ace Hardware groupon by buying a new alarm clock for the boys. The old one got destroyed during the sleepover and not knowing what time to wake up is a major concern for the 7 yo. Before we got to the store, the boys asked if they can get some tchochke toys and I said: we'll see. When we got to the alarm clocks, 7 yo quickly calculated that if we buy a cheaper one, the chances for him to get a toy are higher. Then the boys went to check out the bargain section while I loaded on some potting soil. Our total came up exactly to groupon. The boys got LED flashlight rings. As we got to the car, 7 yo discovered that his does not work. I gave him the receipt and told to ask for a replacement. He marched in and very politely did just that. Till now, he usually claimed to be too shy in such situations.

Then we walked to Office Depot to laminate some Purim stuff. 7 yo was surprised that we walked there and did  not drive. The boys hung out nicely, exploring nooks and crannies of the shelves while the clerk was fighting the laminating machine which kept sucking in empty plastic sleeves.

We had milchig tacos for dinner. 7 yo first retold the story of an emperor without clothes.Then he made up a lengthy story about how the cheetah got its speed, Kipling style. He mixed in the African legend of tear marks on cheetah's eyes, but the rest was quite original. After dinner,7 yo sulked a bit since he wanted Bruster's for dessert and kind of mentioned it in the car this morning. I used my standard "we'll see" and 5 yo piped in from Winnie the Pooh: you always see, but nothing comes out of it. I guess that's true. "We'll see" buys me time and allows to explore how I feel on the issue. Sometimes the answer is "yes", I just did not consider it. And even if the answer is "no", it is gentler after I put some thought into it instead of knee-jerk response. At the end, the boys got Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, with whipped cream, syrup and sprinkles.

Then it was haircut time. The boys needed it. I usually cut their hair at home, but every once in a while, I will take them to get professionally straightened out. This was at home job. They knew that we will be getting pizza tomorrow for Rosh Chodesh, and I explained before that every time they get a barber haircut, that's one less pizza to eat out. While monetarily this is worth it, effort-wise it is a bit crazy, since I have to keep three kids  out of a pile of hair and stick them straight into shower... but for me, that is one less dinner to cook, serve and clean up after!

rainy indoor day

Highlights:

•  For geography, we discussed where we live, starting with street and ending with universe. I stressed proper capitalization for 7 yo, he stuck in western hemisphere and multiverse. Then I asked him to write a sentence, including all of the above. With 5 yo, I just went over written words. Then I printed out maps, to demonstrate how these levels are related. 5 yo settled for circling the correct area. 7 yo colored in each location, with coloring in surrounding locations in another color.
• For math, 5 yo continued in his brother's text book. More breaking up tens into ones. 7 yo did some measurements.
• Next was Chumash and Yesh Lanu Lama. 5 yo did his work independently! I wrote a bunch of " mi amar el mi" and "al mi neemar" for 7 yo and he got most of them right, open Chumash. We reviewed pesukim from yesterday and did two more. He hemmed and hawed, but did go through them. I think his hesitation is because now he can express his fear of unknown ( new words that he has to read, translation). Once I asked him if he was nervous, he admitted so, and then went on. He asked an excellent question: how could Lot go out and talk to his sons-in-law, if people of S'dom were right outside the door? Then we listened to this aliyah at abaalkoreh.com, the  kids sat in front of the computer like listening to iTunes. He is the musical one, loves to sing, let him pick up trop and get preview of next pesukim.
• For reading, 7 yo read about explorers ( ongoing topic), 5 read Big Dog, Little Dog. During reading, he didn't get is why the dogs were not comfortable in their beds. I thought it was obvious, but I bit my tongue. I had to show him first page again and asked him to compare dogs. He noticed different sweaters. He noticed that one had eyes open and the other one, closed. After all this, he noticed that one is big and one is small. Then we went back to the story. I asked him to compare the rooms. He noticed that one had a nightstand. I asked him why the other one didn't. Only then he realized that the beds were wrong sizes. This kids really perceives world in his own way.
• 7 yo asked for Spelling Power, so we did it. I decided to start with Level D ( 4th grade). I introduced the program, explaining that we will only study the words he does not know and only the words that will come up in his writing. I also explained that the rule for the group will be stated first, instead of his guessing what the words have in common. So far, so good.

Feb. 14th

Today started with gym time for me. (Yesterday my husband was delivering all night, so I did not want to stick him with early risers in the morning). Tonight he's on call, so it's mommy all the way.

When I got back, I asked kids to get dressed and got them bagels for breakfast. They asked for Yaalili, I call this kids' coffee, natural high, whatever lifts their moods and sets a good tone for the day. Then we were collecting: stinkbug and pictures of black widow for nature center exchange; books to read in chiropractor's office; free coupons for Krispy Kreme... 7 yo decided that he wants to bring a daffodil to trade in.

The boys davened in the car ( not my top choice, but we had to be semi-punctual here) and then chilled out listening to Alice. Usually, when we get to the office, they have all this bouncy energy, just as I'm flat on my back. This time we brought books. 7 yo read Greek myths from What Your Second Grader Needs to Know. 5 yo read Frog and Toad. 2 yo snacked on Cheerios. The chiropractor was also giving out dumdums for Valentine's day, so I told kids they can have one at the end if they behaved. Between bribery and things to do, this was a subdued visit.

Then we stopped for our donuts and headed to Nature Exchange. The kids can bring in natural objects and trade them in for points, which can be redeemed for other nature objects. 5 yo redeemed his for a fox skull, to join the dog skull previously traded by his brother. 7 yo traded for amethyst. I was hoping to hike the grounds, but it rained the night before, drizzled in the morning and one of the trails was closed. The boys voted against the hike. We read some science books there, 2 yo colored a snowman. I bet she had no idea what that was.

Then we got home around 1. We did formal schoolwork from 1 to 3:40, with a break for lunch.
5 yo enjoys the idea that he can do problems from 2nd grade's math book, so far it's place value. All of his work went smoothly today, including Rosetta Stone and Yesh Lanu Lama workbook.

I started Spelling Power with 7yo, trying to place him accurately. Between two diagnostic tests, he spells at 5th grade level. I'm debating whether I should even be doing a formal spelling program with him or just let him be, till 5th grade, and then retest.

I also got Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind, which he repeatedly complained were too easy. Today we did subject and predicate. 5 yo joined in too, only for him I was writing sentences, while 7 yo was writing his own.

I started on Chumash. After talking it over with a few people, I realized that I need to define my goals for Chumash. I would like him to break words into shorashim, prefixes and suffixes, infer meaning from shorashim, pause at logical breaks and make sure that there is comprehension. In addition, I would need to review pasukim from the previous day. He was very nervous today, as we were not writing down exact translation of every word and, therefore, there was nothing to memorize. He pulled sulkiness and crankiness on me, too. However, I was pleasantly surprised that he remembered the gist of pesukim from yesterday and was able to translate them smoothly, with just occasional checking of shorashim. We did two more pesukim today and, at some point, he looked eager to do more. He was able to translate even the new ones. We acted out Lot being pressed against the door, pulled in by melachim and the people groping around blindly. He also noticed "from young to old". Overall, it was quite pleasant.