Dear G-d, if this was supposed to be a joke, I am not finding it to be funny.
Two weeks ago I heard the rabbi speak in shul on the subject of happiness and Purim. He said how there is no specific prescription for happiness because everyone is happy in their own way. So I thought: this year, part of my happiness is not stressing about Purim. I will have a minimalistic Purim. I am no longer running Purim costume gemach that was a source of mitzvah, but also a source of tremendous personal headache. It was also a source of costumes for my kids, as I managed the donations and was on the lookout year-round for costumes to add. So this year, they had to make their own or tell me early enough what they wanted to do so I could buy it. Only 7 yo told me what she wanted to be: a baby (cue in processing complex emotions of not being a baby any more as she is becoming older and there are actual babies in the house). Her costume was footie pajamas, a bib, a giant plastic bottle and a diaper worn on the outside of the pajamas. I sort of tried to warn her that there might be conversations and remarks taking place over that diaper, but she shrugged them off. If rocking a diaper is what you want to do, you go girl! And just like that, she brushed off all the comments and wore her diaper.
To everyone else I suggested going as a swim team: everyone wears already existing bathing suits. 10 yo did it, I wore mine, and I put one on 4 yo and 1 yo. 12 yo went as an old Russian lady: a kerchief on his head, a patched blanket for his back, and a drumstick for a walking cane. He even learned a few Russian phrases to go with his look, for authenticity. My husband went as... drumroll... a doctor. Yeah, we went all out. And I did not stress about the costumes or keeping with a theme.
To continue my quest for minimalism, and to decrease stress, I decided that our mishloach manot will be a simple hamentash and a clementine in a paper bag. But then I panicked that the free-form hamentashen that my kids made were too free-form, so I spent a motzei shabbos making my own batch that would look more traditional. Except that I decided to use half whole wheat flour, to be creative. But I was also impatient, so I dumped it all together with the other ingredients and got sand crumbs instead of dough. Then I panicked and started adding water and oil to make the dough come together. When it did, it did not look nice, more like sand held together with water. So much for simplicity and minimalism. I shaped that batch, baked it, and hoped for the best.
On Friday before Purim I went to work assembling these michloach manot. I used brown paper sandwich bags, stuck a hamentash and a clementine inside and stapled them with a note that proclaimed package's minimalism. I was done in half an hour, feeling so smug about quick and easy way out from this task.
Comes Purim day and we are getting ready to deliver my preassembled batch when I see that the oil from the dough seeped through the paper bags, ripping some and producing ugly oil stains on the others. Now they do not look simple, now they look ready for the garbage... as 12 yo pointed out that I should have placed a hamentash in a plastic bag first (poor environment!) I blew up at him, how he did not lift a finger with these and now tells me what I should have done.
But really, I was mad at G-d.
I just wanted something to be simple. I just wanted something to work out. I wanted to rejoice in the simplicity of stress-free mishloach manot. Usually, we make turkey wraps and give them out with pickles and a hamentash on the side. It has been our staple, but it is labor-intensive and makes distribution difficult, as it needs to be either eaten or refrigerated. Then it also requires a note warning that the wrap is fleishig but the hamentash is parve.
By the time we were ripping open the oily bags, placing hamentashen into ziplocks and I was retyping the note with our name and theme (G-d forbid I would clutter my computer with a file that I wasn't planning on reusing) and then cutting the labels, I wondered out loud whether it would not have been easier to do those turkey wraps in the first place.
Then, as the return michloach manot started to arrive, I thought whether our minimalist package would bring anyone happiness.
I hope it did, come today, the day after Purim, when there is too much candy, too many sweets, and Pesach is only four weeks away.
Showing posts with label purim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purim. Show all posts
Monday, March 13, 2017
Monday, March 2, 2015
chumash shemot and Purim
We started Chumash Shemot with 10 yo. I went to our local Judaica store, to pick up a copy with Rashi with nekudot, but they did not have it in stock, so they are ordering it for us. In the meanwhile, I pulled out regular Mikraot G'dolot.
10 yo seemed eager to start. He even talked about doing an aliyah a day. (I panicked, since I only prepared about 15 pesukim, assuming we will stick with 5 a day, and Purim being at the end of the week.) We ended up doing 10 pesukim. He seems ok reading Rashi without nekudot, although he vocalizes any way he pleases. He asked, why is Yosef not mentioned as one of the children of Yakov, but then he figured it out from the p'shat. I showed him Rashi on women having 6 babies at a time, and then we discussed whether it really meant that. I used example of post-Holocaust families having more children than average, and how that, going on for a few generations, results in appearance of teeming.
We also discussed whether this was a new Paro, or the same Paro. He asked me whether Paro was from Amalek, since he was being cruel to the Jews. I said that Paro was Egyptian, and we will see the differences in Paro's approach vs. Amalek. So far he figured out that Paro felt threatened by the Jews' reproduction rate to the point that he felt they were more numerous. I told him to consider how many Jews were there entering Egypt, and how many Jews came out, compared to the number of the Egyptians. I am finding this a nice segue into both Purim and Pesach.
Speaking of Purim, I feel like I have totally slacked off. I pulled out Purim stories after my daughter repeatedly asked about them. I have not read over the megillah with either boy. Well, actually, 8 yo read the first three pesukim to me. He read them pretty smoothly, and even translated quite a bit. That was a pleasant surprise. And then the rest did not happen. I thought, maybe we'll get through the first perek, but it does not look like it.
Every year I think, it's OK, we'll get to it next year, and every year, something is going on. I downloaded the Purim Story from Mostly Music, so the kids listened to it on our trip to the conference last week. The boy rejected my usual Purim music; they are getting too old for this stuff. I did make them compare the book that we got from the PJ library to the real story of Esther, and write out the discrepancies. In fact, the book was so bad that I ended up recycling it. My daughter asked me to read it to her, and after the first reading, I just could not bring myself up to keep on reading such inaccurate story. I recommend "Queen Esther Saves Her People", another PJ library book that we previously got.
I leave you with a picture from this book. See if you can catch what's wrong with it.
10 yo seemed eager to start. He even talked about doing an aliyah a day. (I panicked, since I only prepared about 15 pesukim, assuming we will stick with 5 a day, and Purim being at the end of the week.) We ended up doing 10 pesukim. He seems ok reading Rashi without nekudot, although he vocalizes any way he pleases. He asked, why is Yosef not mentioned as one of the children of Yakov, but then he figured it out from the p'shat. I showed him Rashi on women having 6 babies at a time, and then we discussed whether it really meant that. I used example of post-Holocaust families having more children than average, and how that, going on for a few generations, results in appearance of teeming.
We also discussed whether this was a new Paro, or the same Paro. He asked me whether Paro was from Amalek, since he was being cruel to the Jews. I said that Paro was Egyptian, and we will see the differences in Paro's approach vs. Amalek. So far he figured out that Paro felt threatened by the Jews' reproduction rate to the point that he felt they were more numerous. I told him to consider how many Jews were there entering Egypt, and how many Jews came out, compared to the number of the Egyptians. I am finding this a nice segue into both Purim and Pesach.
Speaking of Purim, I feel like I have totally slacked off. I pulled out Purim stories after my daughter repeatedly asked about them. I have not read over the megillah with either boy. Well, actually, 8 yo read the first three pesukim to me. He read them pretty smoothly, and even translated quite a bit. That was a pleasant surprise. And then the rest did not happen. I thought, maybe we'll get through the first perek, but it does not look like it.
Every year I think, it's OK, we'll get to it next year, and every year, something is going on. I downloaded the Purim Story from Mostly Music, so the kids listened to it on our trip to the conference last week. The boy rejected my usual Purim music; they are getting too old for this stuff. I did make them compare the book that we got from the PJ library to the real story of Esther, and write out the discrepancies. In fact, the book was so bad that I ended up recycling it. My daughter asked me to read it to her, and after the first reading, I just could not bring myself up to keep on reading such inaccurate story. I recommend "Queen Esther Saves Her People", another PJ library book that we previously got.
I leave you with a picture from this book. See if you can catch what's wrong with it.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
on Purim, leaning back and control
Today is Purim. Happy Purim,y'all!
Time to be happy, time to let go, time to realize who is in charge.
I have been tightening and tightening my homeschooling belt, and things were feeling worse and worse. We were dissolving into more fights, more arguments, more mental reasons for sending them all to school. It did not help that external factors were not aligning, and there was a lot of external pressure to get this or that done.
In the middle of all this, a few things happened. Both local Kroger and Publix pulled out their Pesach displays, with shocking prices. The Pesach order for kosher coop went out a few weeks ago. Do you know how many people you will be having over Pesach eight weeks in advance? I don't, but I have to guess what I'll be making and in which quantities. Throw this on top of that my usual shmura controversy...
I did not grow up with Pesach. Neither did my husband. He got a minchag (a custom) from his rav to eat shmura on Pesach. When we got married, and were living in New York, we did shmura. The expense was driving me nuts, and knowing that this is a chumra (a stringency) and not halacha, added to the stress. Then we moved to Houston, and I had to place my matzah order weeks in advance. I normally like to plan, but this additional step of planning Pesach before Purim was nuts. Then we moved again. Now I had to place hand shmura order in one place and machine in another, with different deadlines and pick-up times, and both orders had to be placed well in advance. I was crumbling. First two years, I had friends get married in NY two weeks before Pesach, so I drove up, stayed an extra day to go to Brach's and bought my shmura there. Last year I had a baby, but my husband took care of the ordering. Machine shmura was supposed to come through coop, but it didn't. Before I had time to stress, I found some in Publix, innocently sitting on a shelf.
This year, I was too overwhelmed to keep track of when and where shmura was supposed to be ordered. I spoke to my Chabad friend about how I do not feel that I am exactly on a spiritual level which would warrant eating shmura, and she said: "Fake it till you make it." Well, this year I did not feel like faking it. And I do not believe that outward religiosity should come before inner spirituality. So when the deadlines passed and my husband did not order shmura, I said that we are not doing it this year. Publix did not have any and was not planning on bringing it in.
Lo and behold, Costco brought in some hand shmura. My husband got a few boxes, and I decided that all machine matza will be regular this year. I just stopped stressing about it.
At about the same time, this tragedy struck. A young mother passed away, and the internal tumult intensified. I did not know her personally, but this was such a close and horrific call, that I kept on thinking and thinking about it. And at the same time I came across this article. When I read it, I wanted to stand up and pump my fist: preach it, sister! I am so ready to lean back, and so are my friends. Why are we hosting people for sedarim when we need quiet? Why are we stressing about not creative enough costumes? Why are we berating ourselves for not feeding our kids organic when my conventional sweet potato is growing TEN TIMES BETTER than organic one? (I will post pictures one day, I promise!)
Meanwhile, things at my home front kept on deteriorating. I had a full meltdown on Friday night, right in front of my kids. I had a talk with my husband: please, we have to do something, send them to school, find a program, get cleaning help (we have been cleaning the house ourselves and it has been too much). He listened and said: why don't you just go on vacation? Call the school year over, only do things with kids that they want to do, let it all be, and you can always pick up in a week or month or next year. Basically, he suggested going back to unschooling. What's funny is that 7 yo has been asking me to unschool him lately, despite smoothly finishing Lech Lecha, despite starting on Vayeira in regular chumash, and despite his desire to do two pesukim a day...
Additionally, the Rabbi in shul gave a pre-Purim speech which touched on how many things happen, and they are horrible things (meaning the communal tragedy of loss) and we cry at the time, but these tears are there for a reason and we might not know what is the reason till much later on. Oh, and he also mentioned how on Purim it would be appropriate to ask of Hashem with abandon, since we give out tzedakah without investigating, so Hashem gives out our requests. I filed this away, thinking primarily about my tears in my current sorry state of being overwhelmed.
This morning I got to shul for megilah reading a bit early, and I had a unique opportunity say Shemone Esre without distractions. I prayed and asked and requested calmness and best decisions for all current situations.
Afterwards, when I got home and started getting ready for the seudah, I realized that I never got balsamic vinegar for marinated mushrooms. I looked earlier in the week in Publix and at the local farmer's market, but neither one had it. I decided to try Kroger, maybe they have it in their large Pesach section. When I got to the store, I saw that they expanded their Pesach display, so I went looking through it. I found my balsamic vinegar, but I also found... drum roll... machine shmura matzah!
I just started laughing. Just at the time when I gave up on hunting down matzah and on being stressed about matzah and on feeling not quite right in my observance, Hashem sent me a little reminder of who's in control here. As I stocked up, I realized that what I minded about keeping shmura was not the expense, or the level of observance. What I minded the most was worrying about Pesach before Purim and scheming and planning and bending over backwards to get this matzah. When it was right there, just sitting on a store shelf, and Purim planning had passed, I did not mind buying it at all.
There we have it: if we just let go and let Hashem be in charge, he will help us connect the dots, everything will fall in its place. We just need to lean back, release the reigns. I am planning on going back to unschooling, because my sanity comes before outward appearance of busyness.
One final detail: when my husband was putting away shmura boxes, he came and told me: "You know, there is a bottle of balsamic vinegar sitting down there with the pesach food."
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
hamantash baking
Yesterday we got together with a few other families to bake hamantashen, make groggers and watch a Purim movie. That was the explicit purpose of the get-together. If I would be held accountable by how many of these goals were achieved by my kids, we would score quite poorly: 9 yo is the only one who successfully participated in all the activities and had something to show in the end (a grogger and hamantashen).
When we got there, there was a dog in the house. 4 yo is very afraid of dogs, so she would not go out back with the other kids as long as the dog was on the deck. I did not want 1 yo crawling on the deck with the dog either, so I did not really help out the boys. 9 yo started on grogger making with decorating his container. 7 yo had hard time squeezing glitter paint, then he saw a little clown that 9 yo made on the lid of his grogger, got frustrated that he can NEVER make a clown like that, and just stomped off into the backyard. He climbed on everything: the top of the sand box, the grill, the outer railing of the deck. Then he went inside, to play with Perplexus, read and make balloon animals.
Meanwhile the dog was brought into the house, 4 yo came outside, 9 yo followed the crowd to roll and fill hamantashen. I finally put the baby down, who made a beeline for the steps up the deck and the plastic slide. Oh, and the opening in the deck railing, second-floor height. I ended up watching and following him rather than helping 4 yo with her grogger. She made a half-hearted attempt to make one, but she was more interested in all the bikes and scooters on the deck. She tried out a scooter and a tricycle, but what really caught her eye was a bike with training wheels. She got onto the seat, and, with a little push, was able to pedal. There was not a whole lot of space, and the seat was a bit too high for her, but she spent a nice chunk of time practicing riding the bike.
I asked her whether she wanted to make hamantashen, but she was too engrossed in her new skill. I asked 7 yo if he wanted to make them, but he said no.
At the end, the kids did watch a Purim movie together (Megilat Lester and I heard good things about it).
When it was time to leave, 4 yo was ready to make hamantashen. Luckily there was one more piece of dough left, so she made two, and her friend shared one of hers to eat, so we did not have to wait for 4 yo's hamantash to be baked.
Was this a success? Was this a failure? Did we have good time? Did we learn anything?
Now I know that 4 yo is ready for a big bike. I know to bring some books for 7 yo to keep him busy, and that he is very much OK doing something different from the rest of the crowd. We also made some hamantashen on Friday at home, and he had hard time lining up the sides and pinching them, so we ended up with hamantash tacos and burritos. That might have been the extent of his desire to make hamantashen. We also had a really pleasant time walking to and from the house.
Maybe when the kids are not meeting educational objectives, the trouble is with the objectives, and not with the kids. I need to spend more time looking at the big overall picture rather than just a particular activity.
When we got there, there was a dog in the house. 4 yo is very afraid of dogs, so she would not go out back with the other kids as long as the dog was on the deck. I did not want 1 yo crawling on the deck with the dog either, so I did not really help out the boys. 9 yo started on grogger making with decorating his container. 7 yo had hard time squeezing glitter paint, then he saw a little clown that 9 yo made on the lid of his grogger, got frustrated that he can NEVER make a clown like that, and just stomped off into the backyard. He climbed on everything: the top of the sand box, the grill, the outer railing of the deck. Then he went inside, to play with Perplexus, read and make balloon animals.Meanwhile the dog was brought into the house, 4 yo came outside, 9 yo followed the crowd to roll and fill hamantashen. I finally put the baby down, who made a beeline for the steps up the deck and the plastic slide. Oh, and the opening in the deck railing, second-floor height. I ended up watching and following him rather than helping 4 yo with her grogger. She made a half-hearted attempt to make one, but she was more interested in all the bikes and scooters on the deck. She tried out a scooter and a tricycle, but what really caught her eye was a bike with training wheels. She got onto the seat, and, with a little push, was able to pedal. There was not a whole lot of space, and the seat was a bit too high for her, but she spent a nice chunk of time practicing riding the bike.
I asked her whether she wanted to make hamantashen, but she was too engrossed in her new skill. I asked 7 yo if he wanted to make them, but he said no.
At the end, the kids did watch a Purim movie together (Megilat Lester and I heard good things about it).
When it was time to leave, 4 yo was ready to make hamantashen. Luckily there was one more piece of dough left, so she made two, and her friend shared one of hers to eat, so we did not have to wait for 4 yo's hamantash to be baked.
Was this a success? Was this a failure? Did we have good time? Did we learn anything?
Now I know that 4 yo is ready for a big bike. I know to bring some books for 7 yo to keep him busy, and that he is very much OK doing something different from the rest of the crowd. We also made some hamantashen on Friday at home, and he had hard time lining up the sides and pinching them, so we ended up with hamantash tacos and burritos. That might have been the extent of his desire to make hamantashen. We also had a really pleasant time walking to and from the house.
Maybe when the kids are not meeting educational objectives, the trouble is with the objectives, and not with the kids. I need to spend more time looking at the big overall picture rather than just a particular activity.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Purim costume theme
Purim is coming up. I know plenty of families do a costume theme each year: all members dress up to match; it makes great pictures, they all have fun and work together; Pinterest is full of them. I never seemed to get my act together for something like that, despite the fact that I have Purim costume gemach and access to all these costumes.
This year, sometime in the fall, we started discussing Mad Hatter's Tea party as a theme for Purim. Some roles were hashed out: my husband as Mad Hatter, my daughter as Alice, one of the boys as March Hare, another as Cheshire Cat and baby as Door Mouse. Since so much time has passed and this year gave us two Adars (a full month's worth of wake-up time), I decided to check in with everyone before proceeding to plan out and craft the costumes. My husband was OK with being a Mad Hatter and the baby did not really get a say. 9 yo wanted to be Griffin (if you do not recall a Griffin reread the book, especially the Lobster Quadrille part). 4 yo wanted to be a butterfly. I was telling her that there is a caterpillar, and she can be that, but she was not buying it, she wanted wings. Really, she wanted to be a fairy. I got her a matching tutu and wings. Since now we lost Alice, I had to sub as one. The baby got bumped up to March Hare. Luckily, I have a bunny costume in his size, I will add a vest and a toy pocket watch, and that should do. When we started looking into Griffin costumes, nothing was coming up, so I suggested ordering eagle wings and head, and then attaching them to a lion body costume. 9 yo said that he much rather be a chimera, with a goat's mask attached to his back and a spiky tail. Lewis Carrol would approve.
What about 7 yo? He wanted to be Optimus Prime from Transformers (he had never seen the movie, but we have the costume in the gemach).
My family is too individualistic (selfish?) to stick to a theme. Sorry, Pinterest, maybe another year?
This year, sometime in the fall, we started discussing Mad Hatter's Tea party as a theme for Purim. Some roles were hashed out: my husband as Mad Hatter, my daughter as Alice, one of the boys as March Hare, another as Cheshire Cat and baby as Door Mouse. Since so much time has passed and this year gave us two Adars (a full month's worth of wake-up time), I decided to check in with everyone before proceeding to plan out and craft the costumes. My husband was OK with being a Mad Hatter and the baby did not really get a say. 9 yo wanted to be Griffin (if you do not recall a Griffin reread the book, especially the Lobster Quadrille part). 4 yo wanted to be a butterfly. I was telling her that there is a caterpillar, and she can be that, but she was not buying it, she wanted wings. Really, she wanted to be a fairy. I got her a matching tutu and wings. Since now we lost Alice, I had to sub as one. The baby got bumped up to March Hare. Luckily, I have a bunny costume in his size, I will add a vest and a toy pocket watch, and that should do. When we started looking into Griffin costumes, nothing was coming up, so I suggested ordering eagle wings and head, and then attaching them to a lion body costume. 9 yo said that he much rather be a chimera, with a goat's mask attached to his back and a spiky tail. Lewis Carrol would approve.
What about 7 yo? He wanted to be Optimus Prime from Transformers (he had never seen the movie, but we have the costume in the gemach).
My family is too individualistic (selfish?) to stick to a theme. Sorry, Pinterest, maybe another year?
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
A reminder to myself that there are good days
Yesterday was irrevocably rotten, so rotten that I did not even had energy to post about it.
Today my husband took the three older kids to shul for shacharit and then to Publix for bagels and to Starbucks for hot chocolate. It's a new thing: when he makes it to shacharit, he brings 9 yo, but now the others like to tag along. Once in a while he gets then this breakfast out. Meanwhile, my adorable little baby decided to make up for the absence of siblings by requiring as much attention as three kids. Somehow I got myself and him through breakfast. He was so cranky that I tucked him in for a nap before the older ones got back.
They unloaded the dishwasher, and then I sat the boys down and told them that we will do four school items today: two before co-op classes and two after. I asked to do Chumash first, since the baby was sleeping and it was quiet. 7 yo went first: he is almost done with Lech Lecha. We are finishing up with Bright Beginnings, but he is getting more comfortable with the vocabulary and I can even cover up English and he tries to translate on his own. The exercises are a piece of cake. His reading has also improved. He zoomed through it, did the exercises and listened to baal koreh. 9 yo came next, with a bit of resistance. We are finishing up Schem and Dina and we are up to the pasuk where Shimon and Levi plunder the city. After he read and translated, he asked me whether it was right for them to kill everybody. I asked him what he would have done and he said, just kill Schem and Hamor. I asked him to think of some advantages and disadvantages of this plan. Ultimately, he said that they were not right, and because of this they did not receive a bracha from Yakov.
Then we did megilla. 7 yo threw a small tantrum that he is not doing megillah; it is too hard. I let him be. 9 yo was finishing third perek. Conveniently, the word for plunder and children reappeared here in the same form as in his Chumash, so he was able to translate that part. By now I suspect that he has the story memorized in English, so he was fill in the unfamiliar words based on what they should mean. It is also possible that doing megilla third time around is easy (this kid also has amazing memory).
The baby woke up and we rushed to the co-op. This was the second week of classes. 3 yo is taking Beasts and Botany class, where she plants and draws. Her second class is art exploration; more drawing and craft projects. 7 yo is taking Amazing Space and Battles and Weapons, taught by yours truly. 9 yo is taking Spark talks ( similar to TED talks, a public speaking class) and Battles and Weapons. I help out in the toddler room the first hour and teach the second. It is a crazy schedule, it is hectic, and the class that I am teaching is not something I am naturally interested in. However, by now I read so much about all different military equipment and strategies, that I am semi-enthusiastic.
Last week we learned about hoplites of Alexander the Great and talked a bit about the Battle of Gaugamela. This week we reviewed the hoplite armor and made a full-sized suit. There are 5 kids in a class, so everyone got to participate. We traced a hula hoop on cardboard for a shield and then decorated it. I got a long skinny PVC pipe and we attached a metal cone to make it into a spear. The kids designed body armor by themselves and figured out how to tape it together so it would hold. Finally, we made the helmet: I had a plastic hard hat, to which we attached cheek flaps and a face shape, with cut-outs for eyes. Some kids worked on cutting pipe cleaners and making them into a crest. All in all, we got a nice set of hoplite armor. The kids took turns trying it on.
By this point, the baby had more that enough of the co-op, so we left for home. The baby fell asleep in the ar and transferred to his crib, thank G-d. I was able to have a quiet lunch with the kids and then we moved on with out school work. It was not all smooth: 7 yo still resisted doing megilla, but ended up doing it just fine. He read the fourth perek in English and then we sat together and he read fill-in-the-blank Hebrew page. 9 yo had to redo some of his grammar and math. I am using a small paperback for grammar, and I am not very impressed with it, but it is assuaging "mommy guilt" for not teaching my child formal English instruction. In math we are doing geometry, specifically triangles. He had to draw a few, with specified angles, and he kept trying to draw them without a ruler. I had to bring him back to fix his work.
7 yo did a review in math. He finished the first unit of 3rd grade Math Mammoth. He has no difficulty with it whatsoever. Funny kid: second grade Math Mammoth was too much, but now third grade is no problem.
Then we went to taekwondo. My in-laws came in and watched the two youngers while I took the boys. I went to the farmer's market while the boys were exercising. When we got home, I finished putting the dinner together. It was a hit: crock pot salami in tomato sauce, fried polenta slices, and broccoli slaw. We washed the younger ones and I put the baby to sleep. My husband tucked in the older kids. Now they have "Moishy story": he is telling them Yetsiat Mitzrayim in a funny way ( Moishy could not say: Moishy sells sheep by the seashore because of a lisp; Moishy's staff is called stickosaurus; Paro is in DeNial). All of a sudden, after years of kids always clamoring for mommy, it is daddy and his stories that they want.
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I have been hard on myself lately: I am not doing any Jewish learning, I keep missing class opportunities, I dropp my Nach Yomi. The other day I realized: I am learning a lot. I am doing the entire Breshit with Rashi with 9 yo (I have to read all the Rashi to select the ones that I find good for explaining p'shat difficulties), I am reviewing Lech Lecha, I am doing Megillah and Mishna Pesachim. I do not have control over what I am learning, but I am learning along with my kids.
Today my husband took the three older kids to shul for shacharit and then to Publix for bagels and to Starbucks for hot chocolate. It's a new thing: when he makes it to shacharit, he brings 9 yo, but now the others like to tag along. Once in a while he gets then this breakfast out. Meanwhile, my adorable little baby decided to make up for the absence of siblings by requiring as much attention as three kids. Somehow I got myself and him through breakfast. He was so cranky that I tucked him in for a nap before the older ones got back.
They unloaded the dishwasher, and then I sat the boys down and told them that we will do four school items today: two before co-op classes and two after. I asked to do Chumash first, since the baby was sleeping and it was quiet. 7 yo went first: he is almost done with Lech Lecha. We are finishing up with Bright Beginnings, but he is getting more comfortable with the vocabulary and I can even cover up English and he tries to translate on his own. The exercises are a piece of cake. His reading has also improved. He zoomed through it, did the exercises and listened to baal koreh. 9 yo came next, with a bit of resistance. We are finishing up Schem and Dina and we are up to the pasuk where Shimon and Levi plunder the city. After he read and translated, he asked me whether it was right for them to kill everybody. I asked him what he would have done and he said, just kill Schem and Hamor. I asked him to think of some advantages and disadvantages of this plan. Ultimately, he said that they were not right, and because of this they did not receive a bracha from Yakov.
Then we did megilla. 7 yo threw a small tantrum that he is not doing megillah; it is too hard. I let him be. 9 yo was finishing third perek. Conveniently, the word for plunder and children reappeared here in the same form as in his Chumash, so he was able to translate that part. By now I suspect that he has the story memorized in English, so he was fill in the unfamiliar words based on what they should mean. It is also possible that doing megilla third time around is easy (this kid also has amazing memory).
The baby woke up and we rushed to the co-op. This was the second week of classes. 3 yo is taking Beasts and Botany class, where she plants and draws. Her second class is art exploration; more drawing and craft projects. 7 yo is taking Amazing Space and Battles and Weapons, taught by yours truly. 9 yo is taking Spark talks ( similar to TED talks, a public speaking class) and Battles and Weapons. I help out in the toddler room the first hour and teach the second. It is a crazy schedule, it is hectic, and the class that I am teaching is not something I am naturally interested in. However, by now I read so much about all different military equipment and strategies, that I am semi-enthusiastic.
Last week we learned about hoplites of Alexander the Great and talked a bit about the Battle of Gaugamela. This week we reviewed the hoplite armor and made a full-sized suit. There are 5 kids in a class, so everyone got to participate. We traced a hula hoop on cardboard for a shield and then decorated it. I got a long skinny PVC pipe and we attached a metal cone to make it into a spear. The kids designed body armor by themselves and figured out how to tape it together so it would hold. Finally, we made the helmet: I had a plastic hard hat, to which we attached cheek flaps and a face shape, with cut-outs for eyes. Some kids worked on cutting pipe cleaners and making them into a crest. All in all, we got a nice set of hoplite armor. The kids took turns trying it on.
By this point, the baby had more that enough of the co-op, so we left for home. The baby fell asleep in the ar and transferred to his crib, thank G-d. I was able to have a quiet lunch with the kids and then we moved on with out school work. It was not all smooth: 7 yo still resisted doing megilla, but ended up doing it just fine. He read the fourth perek in English and then we sat together and he read fill-in-the-blank Hebrew page. 9 yo had to redo some of his grammar and math. I am using a small paperback for grammar, and I am not very impressed with it, but it is assuaging "mommy guilt" for not teaching my child formal English instruction. In math we are doing geometry, specifically triangles. He had to draw a few, with specified angles, and he kept trying to draw them without a ruler. I had to bring him back to fix his work.
7 yo did a review in math. He finished the first unit of 3rd grade Math Mammoth. He has no difficulty with it whatsoever. Funny kid: second grade Math Mammoth was too much, but now third grade is no problem.
Then we went to taekwondo. My in-laws came in and watched the two youngers while I took the boys. I went to the farmer's market while the boys were exercising. When we got home, I finished putting the dinner together. It was a hit: crock pot salami in tomato sauce, fried polenta slices, and broccoli slaw. We washed the younger ones and I put the baby to sleep. My husband tucked in the older kids. Now they have "Moishy story": he is telling them Yetsiat Mitzrayim in a funny way ( Moishy could not say: Moishy sells sheep by the seashore because of a lisp; Moishy's staff is called stickosaurus; Paro is in DeNial). All of a sudden, after years of kids always clamoring for mommy, it is daddy and his stories that they want.
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I have been hard on myself lately: I am not doing any Jewish learning, I keep missing class opportunities, I dropp my Nach Yomi. The other day I realized: I am learning a lot. I am doing the entire Breshit with Rashi with 9 yo (I have to read all the Rashi to select the ones that I find good for explaining p'shat difficulties), I am reviewing Lech Lecha, I am doing Megillah and Mishna Pesachim. I do not have control over what I am learning, but I am learning along with my kids.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Is giving in worthwhile?
Two moments from this Purim.
We were supposed to make groggers, We were supposed to make them from the beginning of Adar. 6 yo asked to make groggers. When we got to the specifics, he wanted his to be wooden, with a gear inside around which the rest of the grogger turns. Well, we do not have any like that. I even Googled it, and it required power tools whose names I did not know, let alone how to use them. I kept hoping to make it to Michael's and see if they, by any chance, sell wooden gears, but it never happened. We were in the middle of making a paper towel roll grogger, when 8 yo said that we need to poke it with toothpicks and make it like a rain-stick. 6 yo listened to his brother, it did not work, the toothpicks fell out, and now the paper towel rolls was pockmarked with holes. I tried taping up the ends, but this was not satisfactory. Bottom line, I assumed that we will survive without groggers.
I was proven wrong on Shabbos, when 6 yo innocently announced that he does not want to go to a megillah reading because he does not have a grogger. Oops.. and we cannot make one on Shabbos. He was willing to stay home. I was planning on splitting up the kids with my husband, especially since they all decided to have a sleepover in 3 yo's room on Friday night and all were woken up at 5:30, so the chances of everyone being human by 7:30 pm were slim to none. Except that my husband got called in to a delivery around shalishudes time, which meant that if I wanted to hear a megillah, I have to make it to shul by 7:30, with all three kids in tow, and keep them quiet. That is hard to do when two of them are on men's side. And one of them was quite clear that coming to a megillah without a grogger is unacceptable.
Shabbos was over at 7:10. I grabbed three plastic cups, dumped some kidney beans in each, told boys to grab scissors, and traced three circles for the openings. I told the boys to cut theirs out, while I was cutting 3 yo's. By now I know better than not to make something for her when the boys are doing a project. Then I grabbed packing tape and taped the circles on the cups' openings. Most creative grogger ever? I don't think so. More like quickest grogger assembly.
We got to the megillah reading just in the nick of time, huffing and puffing. And I was so pleased to see that some of the kids' friends had very similar groggers (two cups taped together)! The boys sat quietly, and gleefully shook at Haman, 3 yo bounced between my lap and the floor space, and also shook while everyone booed.
In the morning, we went to a megillah reading after shacharit. Since parking can be an issue, we decided to go all together early enough for my husband to daven. This meant that there was a good 40 minute davening before we got the the megillah. This time I only had 3 yo to watch. I did get to daven, but she was getting a bit restless. I showed her Torah, pulled out her books, gave her a few little toys. All was going well till the actual megillah time. I was holding a Youth Megillah, the one she barely glanced at the night before. As soon as the reading started, she decided that she HAS to hold it and look at it now. I could not talk, so I was trying to give her another book, or somehow indicate that mommy needs this book. She was starting to get whiny and that whine was about to escalate into a scream. But I needed a text to follow... suddenly I remembered that I had a Laffy Taffy in my purse from the carnival the week before. I quickly gave her the candy, hoping to distract her temporarily. She asked me to open the wrapper. I slowly unwrapped it, still thinking where can I get the text to follow. She got busy with the candy, and I had fifteen seconds, during which I spied a megillah in the next pew. Yes, I fed my child candy at 9 am. But I was able to reach for that megillah and give up the decorated one, and there was no screaming and interrupting everyone else.
I used to think that both of these moments would show me to be a weak mother. A 6 yo should understand that not making a grogger beforehand will result in no grogger on Purim. A 3 yo should understand that now Mommy needs this book. But then I am thinking about the conflict that would create, the tears, the screaming, the disruption, the hurt feelings. Is it more important to be right, or to make the best out of the situation?
There are other times when I can teach my kids the consequences of their (in)actions or the appropriateness of their behavior. But in these circumstances, giving in seemed like the best response.
We were supposed to make groggers, We were supposed to make them from the beginning of Adar. 6 yo asked to make groggers. When we got to the specifics, he wanted his to be wooden, with a gear inside around which the rest of the grogger turns. Well, we do not have any like that. I even Googled it, and it required power tools whose names I did not know, let alone how to use them. I kept hoping to make it to Michael's and see if they, by any chance, sell wooden gears, but it never happened. We were in the middle of making a paper towel roll grogger, when 8 yo said that we need to poke it with toothpicks and make it like a rain-stick. 6 yo listened to his brother, it did not work, the toothpicks fell out, and now the paper towel rolls was pockmarked with holes. I tried taping up the ends, but this was not satisfactory. Bottom line, I assumed that we will survive without groggers.
I was proven wrong on Shabbos, when 6 yo innocently announced that he does not want to go to a megillah reading because he does not have a grogger. Oops.. and we cannot make one on Shabbos. He was willing to stay home. I was planning on splitting up the kids with my husband, especially since they all decided to have a sleepover in 3 yo's room on Friday night and all were woken up at 5:30, so the chances of everyone being human by 7:30 pm were slim to none. Except that my husband got called in to a delivery around shalishudes time, which meant that if I wanted to hear a megillah, I have to make it to shul by 7:30, with all three kids in tow, and keep them quiet. That is hard to do when two of them are on men's side. And one of them was quite clear that coming to a megillah without a grogger is unacceptable.
Shabbos was over at 7:10. I grabbed three plastic cups, dumped some kidney beans in each, told boys to grab scissors, and traced three circles for the openings. I told the boys to cut theirs out, while I was cutting 3 yo's. By now I know better than not to make something for her when the boys are doing a project. Then I grabbed packing tape and taped the circles on the cups' openings. Most creative grogger ever? I don't think so. More like quickest grogger assembly.
We got to the megillah reading just in the nick of time, huffing and puffing. And I was so pleased to see that some of the kids' friends had very similar groggers (two cups taped together)! The boys sat quietly, and gleefully shook at Haman, 3 yo bounced between my lap and the floor space, and also shook while everyone booed.
In the morning, we went to a megillah reading after shacharit. Since parking can be an issue, we decided to go all together early enough for my husband to daven. This meant that there was a good 40 minute davening before we got the the megillah. This time I only had 3 yo to watch. I did get to daven, but she was getting a bit restless. I showed her Torah, pulled out her books, gave her a few little toys. All was going well till the actual megillah time. I was holding a Youth Megillah, the one she barely glanced at the night before. As soon as the reading started, she decided that she HAS to hold it and look at it now. I could not talk, so I was trying to give her another book, or somehow indicate that mommy needs this book. She was starting to get whiny and that whine was about to escalate into a scream. But I needed a text to follow... suddenly I remembered that I had a Laffy Taffy in my purse from the carnival the week before. I quickly gave her the candy, hoping to distract her temporarily. She asked me to open the wrapper. I slowly unwrapped it, still thinking where can I get the text to follow. She got busy with the candy, and I had fifteen seconds, during which I spied a megillah in the next pew. Yes, I fed my child candy at 9 am. But I was able to reach for that megillah and give up the decorated one, and there was no screaming and interrupting everyone else.
I used to think that both of these moments would show me to be a weak mother. A 6 yo should understand that not making a grogger beforehand will result in no grogger on Purim. A 3 yo should understand that now Mommy needs this book. But then I am thinking about the conflict that would create, the tears, the screaming, the disruption, the hurt feelings. Is it more important to be right, or to make the best out of the situation?
There are other times when I can teach my kids the consequences of their (in)actions or the appropriateness of their behavior. But in these circumstances, giving in seemed like the best response.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Relaxed schooling
I have not posted much because last week everyone took turns being sick, and then we have been out and about as much as we can before the baby comes. So this is a photoblog of some of the things we have been busy with.
We finally sprouted some seeds, almost a month after Tu B'Shevat. The kids wrote the labels, put the seeds into the right compartments, and observed them for a week. They were upset when I did not let them plant the seedlings outside, but we still get frosts here. 
We went to the park to ride bikes. The oldest brought my adult-sized scooter, that my friends got for me in college, and mastered it. 3 yo finally learned to pedal on her tricycle. One of the biggest regrets about the area where I live is that you have to drive to the park, it would be over an hour walk, with crossing a major street. There is no sidewalk on our street, and our driveway slopes downward, so the kids have to be taken places to ride their bikes. The boys also got to wing with abandon, and 3 you finally decided that she's ready for a big-kid swing.
Since we do not follow a school calendar, we were able to have some friends over for President's day, who were off. The boys still had a list of scheduled things to do, but they did them quickly, since they wanted to spend more time with their friends. It worked out nicely for me, since I could focus on one boy at a time, while the other one played. Here is the whole gang, eating lunch. The secret to easy set-up and clean-up: paper goods and get everyone to pitch in.
It was also the last day of the Great Backyard Bird count. I printed out a tally sheet, explained to everyone what we are doing, and they went outside to bird watch. There was a record keeper, bird spotters, time keeper, crumb thrower, and whichever other positions they came up with.
In the Story of the World, where we slacked off for a bit, we finally came to the wars of the Greeks. One of the suggested projects was soap carving, to make Greek statues. The boys tried their best, but followed their hearts. 8 yo carved two fish, an Olmec head and a self-portrait. 6 yo carved two faces, schematically, after some crying that he is no good at carving.
Today we went to the Puppet Theater. The show was good, and there is also museum and a build-a-puppet workshop. The kids made lighting bugs. The presenter first asked about some facts about bugs, and 8 yo raised his hand and explained how the chemical reaction takes place inside by mixing two chemicals, and how bugs use it to find mates. Then there were detailed instructions on building a puppet and optional participation in putting a show together. They boys were on the team with two other kids. They worked out who will say what, and then presented it to the audience. 3 yo built her puppet with some help from me, and then went buzzing around the room, tagging other people.
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| 3 yo buzzing |
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| her own monster |
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| reading about different kinds of puppets |
Sunday, March 4, 2012
drumming
We had Purim carnival today. My husband was around, so that went smoothly. The kids got to eat ice pops in freezing weather while watching a bearded lady offer kisses for money. We went last year, too. A couple days ago, 7 yo asked me why are there police at the parade. I answered that they are there to direct traffic, so people can walk safely in the street. He goes, I thought they were there to prevent bad guys from hurting people in the parade. My bad.
This afternoon was 7 yo's first drumming lesson. He has been asking since the summer to take up drumming, but I could not imagine squeezing that into the schedule together with school and homework. I wanted to see some real interest and persistence. I also explained that learning an instrument will require practice. He agreed to it all. So I finally went ahead and found him a teacher. I also mercifully was able to leave the other two kids home, so it was just me, watching. He was very into it, all excited. He followed the rhythm, wanted to know the names of all drums/cymbals and what each pedal does and how does it all work. The teacher, a young guy in business school, was cool letting him experiment a bit and then teaching a bit. My son is a leftie, so learning how to start off with right hand does not come naturally to him. So there is a lot to work on here. Now I need to get him drum sticks for practice. His teacher said that he can practice drumming on the comforter or pillows (thank G-d, I am not ready to invest in a drum set yet or to put up with din). On the way back, he kept telling me how much fun it was and how excited he is about it. Now, he is not the one naturally overflowing with gratitude, but, when conditions are right, it happens.
I am grateful that I can give him this opportunity. I will need to work hard not to project my unfortunate encounter with piano practice onto his joy. I did not choose piano, we had one growing up and you could not waste a perfectly good piano without somebody practicing on it. The only problem was, I did not hear any mistakes that I made, so practice quickly deteriorated into torture. So I am cautions about musical instrument playing.
We are also on the second perek of megillah. He realized how long it is, and wanted to figure out how to cut perek short and still get a siyum. We read five pesukim, and then he stopped. I said that we could read some in the morning and some at night. He seemed to like that. I have to see whether the desire to finish the perek outweighs the resistance to reading.
This afternoon was 7 yo's first drumming lesson. He has been asking since the summer to take up drumming, but I could not imagine squeezing that into the schedule together with school and homework. I wanted to see some real interest and persistence. I also explained that learning an instrument will require practice. He agreed to it all. So I finally went ahead and found him a teacher. I also mercifully was able to leave the other two kids home, so it was just me, watching. He was very into it, all excited. He followed the rhythm, wanted to know the names of all drums/cymbals and what each pedal does and how does it all work. The teacher, a young guy in business school, was cool letting him experiment a bit and then teaching a bit. My son is a leftie, so learning how to start off with right hand does not come naturally to him. So there is a lot to work on here. Now I need to get him drum sticks for practice. His teacher said that he can practice drumming on the comforter or pillows (thank G-d, I am not ready to invest in a drum set yet or to put up with din). On the way back, he kept telling me how much fun it was and how excited he is about it. Now, he is not the one naturally overflowing with gratitude, but, when conditions are right, it happens.
I am grateful that I can give him this opportunity. I will need to work hard not to project my unfortunate encounter with piano practice onto his joy. I did not choose piano, we had one growing up and you could not waste a perfectly good piano without somebody practicing on it. The only problem was, I did not hear any mistakes that I made, so practice quickly deteriorated into torture. So I am cautions about musical instrument playing.
We are also on the second perek of megillah. He realized how long it is, and wanted to figure out how to cut perek short and still get a siyum. We read five pesukim, and then he stopped. I said that we could read some in the morning and some at night. He seemed to like that. I have to see whether the desire to finish the perek outweighs the resistance to reading.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
diving into books
I got up early and worked out. By the time I got home, the kids were all up, but nobody was in the mood to get dressed or have breakfast. Eventually, they did get dressed. My husband was home, so he regaled with Greek myths. 7 yo read a few of those, so they had a lively discussion.
Davening did not go so well, lots of running around and chasing each other. Then the oldest went to do Rosetta Stone, while 5 yo picked handwriting. Today's letter was i, he claimed he already knew how to write it, so we skipped to e. Now e is a big deal, as he realizes that once he can do e, he can also write shin. HTW uses baseball example to teach e, so he loves "running around the bases", making the curve part. I hope he remembers it. Then he picked megillah. I read to him probably 7 perakim in English, stopping every once in a while to make sure he understands. 2 yo walked around, sat on my lap, sat next to us, etc. She is definitely getting unschooled here.
Then the boys switched. 7 yo asked to do math first. We finished up length and I explained why there are metric and customary units. He is eager to do multiplication, so I printed out some pages from teacher's corner, setting one of the factors less than 6. He did it in a flash ( thanks to Schoolhouse Rock). Now I have to check whether he knows higher numbers.
Then he did arranging sentences from the megillah. I found this activity on http://chinuch.org/ I explained how the sentences will be formed and he dove right in, making sentences. 5 yo finished up and came up to help at this point. 2 yo kept moving the cards around, but at the end, they did form all possible sentences.
Then we went for ice cream and the library. It feels giddy to be able to take your kids for ice cream at 11 am and not to worry about school or crowds or lunch, and just enjoy it. Afterwards, we got to the library. Mercifully, they had a toddler class that morning, so my 2 yo was not the only one running around. 7 yo found Encyclopedia Brown and got lost inside. 5 yo scanned shelves. I was trying to find books for the toddler group tomorrow. Then everyone helped my check out. When we got home, the boys just pulled out their books and were not heard from again for a while. I keep on forgetting that on the days we go to the library, I will have to distract them from new books to get anything done.
Later, much later, we did finish formal school work. 7 yo read 7 more pesukim from the megillah, did his spelling and another page of Lashon HaTorah. 5 yo learned tzadi sofit, which he called a lamed carrying a pretzel. He even drew a house for tzadi sofit--somehow this pretzel letter moved him. In Yesh Lanu Lama, we read the next page. Then we did math, even and odd numbers.
All of this was finished by 3 pm. Then the boys watched "Alice in Wonderland" from 1915. I had to explain about black-and-white silent movies and how music came separately. I also realized that reading captions ( I do not know what is the proper name for those flashes of story in between) is good reading practice for 5 yo. They were quite drawn in.
After Alice, 7 yo went back to reading something or other. 5 yo checked on his beans and noted their roots. Then he wanted to make masks, something that I wrote down in optional section. I made an eye mask for 2 yo; he wanted a full face mask. I ended up drawing the shape fro him, with eyes and mouth, he cut it out and wrote ninja on it ( hehe, spontaneous writing). Then he decided he wants eye mask after all, so more cutting and coloring.
After dinner, 7 yo made a mask too. I am discovering that what I thought was itty-bitty bullying problem as probably larger than I thought. Last year, he dressed up as Batman for dress-up day ion school. From that day on, a certain girl teased him, calling him Batman, even though he did not like it. He sort of brought that up, but never in a way that warranted action. Now, with this new mask, he tells me that she cannot tease him, because sometimes he's a ninja, and sometimes he's a ferocious beast. Now that he's home, he hasn't seen her in weeks, yet he's still concerned. Hm, how do those itty-bitty bullying problems affect people?
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