who created man with wisdom...

When Stalin came to power in the Soviet Union, Yiddish was outlawed. Why? Because in Yiddish the toilet paper is "asher yotzar papir", or "asher yotzar paper". Asher Yotzar means "who created" and is the beginning of the blessing made after one relieves himself. The reason for the blessing is to acknowledge that the body is working properly: everything that needs to stay open is open and anything that needs to be closed stays closed. Now, taking time a few times a day to marvel at how G-d keeps your body functioning can bring a lot of meaning. Or not. But Stalin knew that if even lowly toilet paper will be reminding Jews that there is G-d and not Stalin who is in charge of their bodily functions, then Yiddish could not be a secular language despite whatever the enlightened Jews were trying to tell him.

Today I wanted to go over the text of Asher Yatzar with 6 yo. He has been saying it for years, and he knows the gist of this one, but I wanted more details. I decided to browse online and came upon this website:

http://eng.asheryatzar.com/site_contents/posters_download.html

It has a nice printable poster of Asher Yatzar, with translation and transliteration and visual reminders and holiness-inducing reminders. Many of you probably have this in your homes, next to the bathrooms. (If not, here it is, print and use and thank G-d for your functioning body!) What I found to be amusing was that there  are minor differences in the text. Some have to do with order, some have to do with adding or subtracting words. The meaning is still the same, and the idea is, too. But isn't it a bit funny that Jews among themselves cannot agree what should come first: the opening or the closing of body orifices, and whether it is important to say that you cannot survive "even for one hour"? Or whether you cannot survive only or survive and stand before G-d?

Being grateful for a functioning body is such a basic idea, so why are we all sectarian about it? Why isn't there one standard text?

On the same subject, we were doing third pasuk in perek 22 in Vayeira with 8 yo. He asked me about who are the two servants who walked with Avraham. Before I answered, he decided to look in Rashi and got his answer. Then he asked: why two? I said that the rest of Rashi has the answer. I had to help him translate it. He asked me, what does it mean to take care of his openings at a distance? I did not give it to him, but hinted. I also explained how they do not have bathrooms in the desert, so one had to go find a private sand dune and distance himself. He liked this Rashi.

First day of school

I decided to start early, so today was the first day. The chagim are in a month, and I want to be able to take off some days for errands and cooking. My sister is getting married after Succot, and that means at least a week off. I think this earlier start gives me peace of mind to take off more when I need to.

It is funny to proclaim today the first day of school. The kids have been learning all summer long. They have been reading, going on hikes, doing projects, holding discussions, asking questions. Why is today different from all other days? Before you say, well, TODAY you did formal school work, yesterday 8 yo surprised me. I sent him to get his siddur and to daven, he came out with HWT script book, opened it up and started to teach himself script! He got through two letters before I reminded him that it is time to daven.

Yesterday, I had someone come and help me organize our homeschooling space, hence the reason we started on a Tuesday, not Monday. We homeschoolers can afford to be flexible like that. We put all art supplies in the sunroom instead of having them spread out all over the house. Almost all, I should say. I decided to keep Moon Dough and paint out of reach, as well as extra rolls of tape and glue. While we were doing this, a lot of supplies and crafts which were hiding came out. 6 yo picked up a weaving board, the one for potholders and decided to make one. Now, he tried before. Usually, he strung it in one direction, then got confused with weaving the cross ribbons, then got frustrated and then his brother would come and "rescue" his project, with him abandoning all craftsmanship. This time, he stuck with it and got it. He worked under-over with his fingers, and was ready to finish the edge, but it was time to go to tae kwon do ( which was cancelled, but we only found out once we got there). When we got home, I showed him how to finish the edge and he did three sides, with the last side slipping off and requiring some help. Overall, he did take ownership of his project.

So today was the first day of something or other. I made pancakes for breakfast ( to assure cheerful mood in kids) and we are going out for dinner ( to assure cheerful mood in mommy). After breakfast, we davened, but not before I almost made them unload a dirty dishwasher. 8 yo went first, after his davening, I called him over , opened up my planner and asked him what are his goals for the year. This is his list:

• science: experiments, chemistry, density, physics, explosions, make your own experiments, electricity, anatomy, wildlife, being able to identify all animals and plants
• history: early civilizations, ancient China, American history
• surviving in the wild, camping
• computer: typing, email, downloading and installing games
• chess and checkers, Monopoly
• opening a bank account
• technology: mechanics, build your own train without instructions
• cooking: make anything in any cookbook

Pretty ambitious, huh? I should keep on looking at this list any time I think he is lacking motivation.

Then, after 6 yo davened, I asked him the same.This is his list:

• science: atoms, molecules, elements
• geography: the world, China, Africa
• chess: learn good moves

I think he overheard his brother, which is a pity. I think I will wait a week and sit him down somewhere separately, to pick his brain.

I wrote up plans for each boy. In hindsight, 8 yo wanted to spend much more time on each activity than I allocated, so I found myself telling him to drop what he was doing and move on to something else. I will have to rethink this. My goal is to be able to assign him certain things and then let him complete them on his own, just bringing it back to me to check periodically. I am aware that it might not happen this year or the next.

Here is what we actually got done with 8 yo: color in a political map of Africa, label different countries, do Rosetta Stone, cover another letter in script, write in his journal about dinosaurs, do Math Mammoth, do spelling with Spelling Power, review first two pesukim in 22nd perek of Vayeira and Rashi on "take your son", review Rashi script.

Surprises: he can add two digit numbers, but is still flimsy with addition facts up to ten ( grrr), he remembered the Rashi word for word from many months ago, he did not want to review but plunge right into the middle of the perek even though he did no remember some words, he much rather write about dinosaurs and prehistoric creatures than anything else, listing facts rather than descriptions, he is very eager to do script and write everything in script, he remembers all of Rashi's letters but forgot how to write Hebrew script.

Here is what we did with 6 yo: HWT print, reviewed frog jump capitals and he wrote his name, remembering to use lower case. We started Tefila Workbook, with the first words of every bracha, understanding from Baruch till Bemitzvotav. Math Mammoth kindergarden review of counting and number writing. Rosetta Stone and Yesh lanu Lama. Unofficially, he played with the scale and geoboards. He asked me, how do they teach math? I showed him how to make squares, triangles, rectangles, rhombus. I taught him quadrilateral and pentagon and octagon. He also stitched together a puppet.

Surprises: his handwriting has improved much more and he has more stamina, he even kept saying how all writing today was easy. He claimed  not to know the meaning of a single word in a bracha, except for Hashem, so I had to go much slower than I planned. He did not complain about Rosetta Stone. He completely melted down at Lama, so I decided to start all the way at the beginning of the books, to review reading skills and vocabulary. He did first five units quite speedily, so hopefully it will come back to him.

I was asked what am I doing with 2 yo while I am teaching the boys. Here is what she did: davened, hung out on the couch, sat at the table while the boys were writing, opened up base ten blocks and built with them, painted watercolor on the kitchen table while the boys did more writing, ate lunch with the boys, started on a puppet with 6 yo (he finished his, she did about half, never would have thought that she could do it, but there it is, she can sew through prepunched holes), napped.

It is 3 pm, we are done and ready to enjoy and nice quiet lazy summer afternoon.

wish list for the next school year

When you get married, you register for things so that people know what you want (really expensive china). When you are pregnant, you register for things, so that people know what you want (that really cute bassinet which you will use to store burp cloths as the baby will be snoozing on your chest). When you start a new school year, you get a supply list from the teacher and buy fifteen pairs of scissors which will magically vanish by the end of the school year.

I went to Target last week and bought bare-bones supplies for next year:

• ruled paper (loose-leaf binders work for us)
• graph paper ( per request of 8 yo)
• dividers for binders
• ruler
• planner for me ( to pretend that I am keeping track of it all)
• composition notebooks for boys' journaling (and I suspect they might remain empty)
• two folders with prongs ( to keep math work)
• watercolors (2 yo request)
• tape, glue, erasers--for some reason, these items are always getting used up or lost

This is what I bought or am buying online:

• Handwriting Without Tears: script for 8 yo ( his request, I am not sure it is necessary to learn script any more) and printing reinforcement for 6 yo. I also got their journal for 6 yo, maybe this year he will feel confident enough to start writing
• What Your Third Grade Needs to Know (for me as a loose guide, but 8 yo to read stories and social studies)
• Math Mammoth (hopefully it will be a thinking kind of curriculum, with neat tricks along the way)
• many Jewish books: Pirkei Avot, Yonah, cartoons (Dovid Ben Yishai, Rashi. Elishama and Ephraim Leave Mitzrayim, The Children of Shushan fight Haman), books about mishkan and Beit HaMikdash
• many Jewish CDs: 613 Torah Ave on parsha and tefila, Story Tyme with rabbi Juravel for Pesach and Succot, some DVDs ( BeGan Shel Dudu)

I am planning to utilize the library to supplement. We take out lots of science books, social studies, literature, picture books, arts and crafts. We also get CDs and occasional DVD out, usually an educational one.

Here is the actual wish list:

• globe
• political map of the world
• map of the US
• map of Israel (without funny cutouts)
• electric pencil sharpener
• origami paper
• molecular modeling kit
• 3-D puzzle of the Beit hamikdash
• timeline paper
• science kits: weather, acid rain, water quality, etc.

Books:

• Round and Round the Jewish Year Volume 4
• One Special Prayer
• Seven Special Weeks
• Rabeinu Shmuel HaNagid
• How Things Work
• biographies of composers and artists

Delilah

We went to the library on Friday, I asked 6 yo to pick out five books. I thought he grabbed first five books that he saw. Well, so far one was about a boy who wanted to become an aeronaut and made a flying bicycle. We read that he had "more gumption than a gopher" and were looking up "gumption" in the dictionary. (Last week we were looking up "indomitable" from tae kwon do, he tends to pick words which are nor present in the illustrated dictionary, but he liked finding the right letter, then the next letter, etc. I am glad he does not mind asking about the words he does not know and looking them up). There was also the phrase "disaster struck" and I had to explain what that meant. Finally, he asked "how mistakes are the pathway to perfection"? I think we are having good time with reading comprehension, even without any formal curriculum.

The other book is "Delilah" by John Marciano. On the surface, it is a book about the unlikely friendship between a farmer and a sheep, but, as I was reading it, I realized it's the perfect book about homeschooling/unschooling. It is a book about being different, blazing your own path, doing what you feel is right instead of being told what to do. And it is a book about enjoying life and having fun. Check it out in your library.

Nach Yomi

There is a concept of Daf Yomi: you learn a page of gemara a day, every day, through every tractate and area. People all over the world learn the same page on the same day. Like this, one finishes the entire gemara over the course of 7 and a half years. The benefit: one is familiar with the entire gemara, not just "popular" or easy areas.

But there is another benefit/drawback: in order for this to work, one needs to commit a certain amount of time every day to learning. No holidays, no sick days, no celebrations, day in and day out, one has to find time to set aside to learn. From what I heard, catching up is hard, if not virtually impossible. This requires a huge commitment and a huge amount of discipline.

I was at an impasse with 8 yo about drums. He likes drumming. He picked up a few rhythms, made up his own, likes banging around, likes combining sounds. He hates practice. He hates sitting the right way, holding the drumsticks the right way, playing the same rhythm twenty times, counting out loud. He wants to get it, and get it fast. He gets frustrated. We spoke about it, we made plans, promises, trades. I wavered: maybe he is not ready, but maybe he is ready and he just needs to put in some effort and then he will come to enjoy all of it.

Then I thought about it: he does not see people work hard at something. He does not see grown-ups taking on commitments, failing, trying again, getting frustrated. I thought about what would be a grown-up equivalent of practice which would pay off, but would require a commitment.

I decided to do Nach Yomi. Previously, I read Yehoshua and Shoftim(Judges), studied Shmuel I and II and a bit of Melachim I, but the rest is quite murky. Oh, sure, I come to shul and hear haftorah (the readings from the Prophets and Writings, corresponding to the weekly portion) and all the megilot, but what about the rest? What about the context? What about the rest of Iyov, not just that he lost everything, spoke to some friends, and then gained everything back?

In one of the recent articles, a point was made that if all the copies of the book of Havakuk would disappear from all the yeshivot, nobody would notice. My husband countered that Havakuk is read as a haftorah somewhere... not sure if it's true, but the point still stands: how well do I know the rest of the Nach to know what am I missing?

So I decided to embark on a personal Nach Yomi. The rules are simple: one perek (chapter) of Nach per day, starting with Yehoshua. I am reading it in English, Artscroll edition, with translated commentaries. It takes me anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. The only rule is that I have to do it EVERY DAY. And this part is the hardest, there are so many more other things to do. It is Friday night and I spent the whole day cooking and teaching parsha to kids. It is a weeknight, my husband is on call, the kids are finally in bed and I much rather read some light magazine.

But I decided to commit to this. I know that I will benefit in much larger way that I can even imagine now. I know that my kids are asking when will I finish Yehoshua and what will I do for a siyum (completion party). I know that as we are reading about Moshe commanding Yehoshua how to conquer the land, I get to explore how it actually took place.

Most importantly, I am getting to experience a bit of the same frustration that my son is dealing with. Most importantly, I get to show him how hard work pays off.

the gift of time

Do you know the biggest problem teachers face in their classroom? Classroom management. This means that a teacher has to figure out how to meaningfully engage x amount of students for x amount of time while transmitting x amount of information. The teacher usually has just one shot to transmit this information, and so, all different techniques are devised so that the transmission is optimal. The teacher is told not to talk till he has everyone's attention, be very precise in his message, be well-prepared and know his material cold, focus on lecturing while saving the questions for later, lest the students get distracted. And at the end, there is a quiz/test/homework to see what has been retained.

All of this makes perfect sense... if you are dealing with ideal scenario. But what if the students just came in from recess where they beat another team at kickball and all they can think about is the next game? What if there is a fire drill in the middle of the class and the lesson time is curtailed? What if the teacher gets asked a question to which he does not have an answer, or, as he is explaining the material, he himself realizes that something does not make sense? Finally, what if everything went smoothly on the surface, but the test/quiz/homework does not produce high results?

It just hit me on Friday, and it's surprising that it took me this long, after all my teaching/homeschooling experiences. I was teaching parsha to the boys. I was using the easel to illustrate. Both boys were here and engaged, asking questions. 8 yo got a binder and drew his own illustrations. Both boys called out the Ten Commandments. Then we got on the subject of zachor/shamor. (Briefly: there is a discrepancy between what it says in the Ten Commandments in Shemot and in Devarim, one place says to remember Shabbos, another to keep it.) 6 yo immediately piped in: "zachor veshamor bedibur echad" from Lecha Dodi. He has been going to shul with my husband on Friday nights and listening. I asked him if he knew what it meant and he did not. I told the boys that it's funny that they know the answer without knowing the question. I explained that Hashem said both words at the same time and tried to get boys to both say one each, to make it sound like it. 6 yo got frustrated and left, kicking. He laid down on the floor in the adjacent room. I kept on teaching parsha to 8 yo as if nothing happened.

During Friday night dinner, we ask parsha questions. Usually 8 yo knows everything, and 6 yo sometimes participates, sometimes does not. This week, he was on the roll. He knew a lot, named 9 of the Ten Commandments, answered about Shema, etc. Obviously even though he was not in the same room, doing his own thing, he was listening. He was learning. 

I realized that in order to teach, I do not need an attentive student. I just need an interested one. I also realized that parsha comes up every year, and whichever points the kids will not pick up this year, they will pick up next. Or they will pick up Chumash and look it up themselves. Or they will hear it in shul when they are older. Or they will pick it up from other conversations. I do not have to squeeze everything in efficiently right now. I have the gift of time.

The gift of time also means that I do not have to know everything. I can answer that I do not know, look it up, and come back to it. I can correct myself. I can tweak my answers. I am allowed to experiment and make mistakes. I am allowed to be human. I am allowed to take a day off from teaching and nothing will happen. We will make it up sometime.

I don't know why all of this did not hit me sooner. Now there is no need to demand excellence, just effort. If there is no effort, then the time is not right. Come back to it when they are interested and things will go smoothly.

-----

I told all of this to my mother, and she told me about my sister, who was taking English language courses back in Moldova. As a middle-schooler, she was deemed too young to sit by herself with college-age kids ( college started at 16, but still), so my mother had to sit with her. This was after a full day of school, so she tended to climb under her desk to play. However, as my mother remarked, whenever a teacher asked her a question, she would pop up to answer, and he let her be and learn like that.

Oh, and she turned out OK. She has a PhD and is working on a post-doc.

How do I love Torah, it is always the object of my discussion

Sweetwater Creek State Park

Today we went on another hike with the group. This hike was more strenuous than the previous one. It required some climbing over boulders and fallen trees and some descents using nearby trees as supports. Needless to say, my kids had great time. The boys waded a bit and stayed with the group, while 2yo and I poked behind. The river had some beautiful rapids and vistas. The boys walked with kindred spirits eager to climb every rock and get their feet wet.

Kings of the hill

 There were a ton of itty-bitty frogs hopping everywhere and 6yo made it his mission to catch them. I observed how he squatted, patiently waited, and then, with stork-like precision, seized it between his fingers. (None of the frogs were harmed, they all hopped away). One of the frogs literally jumped into his hand. Since he is not afraid of them, he takes liberties which leave most of us queasy. I was thinking, Steve Irvin kind of liberties.

This is a different frog, also released. Altogether, he caught 5, and touched one lizard.

This lizard was spotted by me, and was left untouched.

2yo investigating a flower

this is the trail

After this very exciting hike, we had lunch and walked over to the visitors' center. It had some artifacts from the old mill and some stuffed animals. The building had a living roof which the boys wanted to see. Over there, for the first time, I saw hummingbirds. Now, for most people, they are not that exciting, but I grew up thinking of them as exotic species. I knew they live here, and 8 yo saw them before, but I was just awed how they looked like giant insects and yet behaved so differently. 2 yo was a bit scared of them, even though we kept telling her that they are not bugs, so we had to leave.

In the afternoon, we headed home for an hour break between the hike and taekwondo. There I saw that a friend posted about this great site, www.daat.ac.il. I checked it out and found all sorts of useful things: meforshim with nekudot, maps of Israel and songs. I played one song about the articles in the Mishkan, and another about mesorah. Now that one 8 yo asked me about, and I explained again. When we got to zugot ( pairs), he asked me who they are, and then he pulled out Pirkei Avot to look them up. I just sat there, wondering how much more confident I could be about judaic unschooling if my kids were fluent in Hebrew.

The boys got their new taekwondo uniforms and were taught how to tie their belts. They both told me that they liked their class. I am glad that we have a month to wait and see.

When we got home, I gave each a hanger for their uniform and sent them to shower. The plan was to head out to our local shul for siyum hashas celebration. 8 yo decided to put on Shabbos clothes, and 6 yo followed. My husband came home and 8 yo excitedly told him about his new uniform. Then he added that we might need to ask a rabbi whether it needs tzitzit, since it is a four-cornered garment, with each corner splitting separately from another. My husband took a look and saw that the corners were cut off, so it does not need tzitzit, but I was just glowing with nachas: he is thinking in a halachik way and applying it to the surrounding world!

Now the boys are at the siyum, 2yo is snoozing, and I have a uniquely quiet house while it is still light outside...