Manic Monday

Today was first back-to-school day after a long Pesach hiatus. But is was definitely not first day of learning, in fact, it might have hindered it some.

I got to the gym, which always seems to help start the day right. The boys ate breakfast and davened without too many complications. 8 yo decided to add Aleinu today, the whole thing. 6 yo added another bracha from Birchot haShachar. Then the oldest went to do Rosetta Stone and I did spelling with the younger one. He got discouraged to get some words wrong, but he also got some right. He traced them on the table and assembled them out of Bananagrams. Then we did handwriting, letter h lowercase. Then he chose writing. I asked him to write something about Pesach. First he dictated a sentence to me, I wrote it down and he wanted to copy it. Then he got stuck on my lowercase g, HWT just does a small curve on the bottom and I brought my loop up to the line. This involved kicking and screaming. I asked whether I should rewrite it with a curvy g, he said yes, then tantrumed some more. Finally he said that he will write, Thank G-d Hashem took us out of Egypt. He spelled it "thac g-d Hashem took us out ov" and then went to pull out a book about Egypt to see how to spell it. He also chose to end his sentence with an exclamation point.

Meanwhile, 8 yo did some math, it was calendar reading and then review of time/money. He was not putting in, as any answer that required more than filling in a bubble was not complete. I had to send him back to redo his work. Then he proceeded to Lashon Hatorah on his own and got it all right.

I was planning on doing more place value math with 6 yo, but his brother suggested building a train track and the train could advance one track for each math problem he solved correctly. 6 yo was thrilled, and I got him to review addition/subtraction till 20.

Then I did spelling with 8 yo and sent him to write his own Pesach story. He titled it Out of Egypt ( hm, plagiarism anyone?) He also just did token writing, very obviously not into it. What he was into today was making his Zen garden. We got this book out of the library called Living History and it takes a civilization and gives lots of projects on what life was like. For whichever reason he decided that he wants to make Zen garden. I told him to make a list of supplies. He wrote it up and checked off the ones we had. I had very little desire to shlep to another store, so I kept thinking that we will go in the afternoon, maybe later, maybe tomorrow... then I asked him whether he can find those supplies in our backyard. So he and 2 yo went out looking for moss and rocks. I gave him a bowl and soon enough, he came back with it full. Then he gathered everything else and spent some time building his Zen garden. After he made one, he made another one for 2 yo. Once 6 yo finished tantruming, they went to make another one, this one in a plate. Over the course of the day, I accumulated 4 Zen garden. I should be totally at peace now.

The final schoolwork for 8 yo toady was Chmuash. He was nervous, as we have not done Vayeira in months. However, he recalled exactly where we were in the story. I decided to finish the perek quickly, same way we did megillah, with him reading and then translating parts that he knew and me supplying unknown words. we did four pesukim and he asked classical Rashi on why Lot did was afraid to live in Tzoar, didn't he ask to go there?

6 yo discovered that we're almost done with Hebrew handwriting book, only one more letter ( ayin). However, there was one more hurdle: Yesh Lanu Lama. He had to match numbers and write their names in Hebrew. He knows all of them in Hebrew. But instead of writing, there was another tantrum. I felt like an overinflated balloon by this point. After 40 minutes of drama, he finally wrote them.

I was told that he would not tantrum like that for others. Well, he tantrums in gymnastics. I was told that he has to learn to suck it up and just do it. I was told that he would not tantrum like this in school. I think I would just be getting a whole lotta phone calls about his behavior. Or he would behave well in school and save up all anger and frustration for home.

Before gymnastics the boys watched a Nova documentary about elements, it was recommended by 8 yo's co-op teacher. Afterwards, 2 yo was walking around suggesting we make dynamite.

Why do I homeschool? Because, at the end of the day, I have a feeling that my kids will turn out all right. I did not have this feeling when 8 yo was in school. I think seeing the whole kid instead of a sliver helps in gaining perspective. Nobody marries a person saying: "I love you, but only if you stay away for 8 hours every day, otherwise, you are too much." That would be ridiculous! So I am discovering that it is easier to love the whole kid and not just the achieving/well-behaving part.

random ramblings

A few snippets from these few days:

On Monday we went strawberry picking. After we were done, we had picnic lunch. At some point, 7 yo went to poke in the mud with a stick. 6 yo ( he's six today!) went to another picnic table to munch on his matzah in quiet. I was having a conversation with my sister about importance of being by yourself instead of a part of a group and how independent thinking can only be achieved this way. I was remarking how 7 yo did not ask to have playdates, see more friends, etc, but he spent a chunk of his time by himself. She was objecting, saying that my personality is more introverted than most ( it's true) and it would not work for everyone ( probably also true). As we were finishing this conversation, 6 yo suddenly says: "So, could Hashem multiply himself?" I'm pretty sure such questions do not arise from groupthink.

Later, as we started on our way back home, 7 yo said: "Everything in the world is made from something else, like tree comes from a seed." What a great opportunity to explain creation yesh meyesh as opposed to yesh meayin! Again, I'm sure that if he was playing with a bunch of kids previously instead of digging in the dirt, those thought would not develop.

Today, at breakfast, 7 yo asked a classic hagaddah question: why do we say that this year we are slaves, aren't we free? This led to a discussion of what is slavery and what is freedom.

This afternoon, the kid decided to sail cardboard boats in the bathtub. 7 yo made of his own design. Now, I can tell you a bit about buoyancy, etc, but it is one of rites of passage for a boy to design and test out his own boat. Nobody else will celebrate its triumph/failure, nobody will grade it, nobody will test it, but the lesson of making something with your own two hands and your brain will stick.

The homeschooling coop is planning a curriculum swap. This fills me with anxiety, especially being asked, now that I have a second grader, I must be using a curriculum. The truth is, I do not have a curriculum, and I'm questioning the need for curriculum till much older ages ( middle school? high school?). But I have a drive to get my kids to learn. And they have a drive to learn. Even if it involves digging in the dirt.

A friend of mine posted this:

She said it is especially for kids with special needs. I wonder if play deprivation creates kids with special needs.

As we were entering homeschooling coop today, my 6 yo grabbed onto two door handles and walked his feet up the door, till he was practically hanging upside down. No school would tolerate this behavior. I know that if he were in a traditional school, sooner or later someone would attach some kind of label to him. ADHD. Hyperactivity. Impulsiveness. Defiance. Immaturity. You think of one and slap it on. I know that by keeping him label-free, I get to see his other sides: generous heart. Overflowing gratitude. Kindness. Fairness. Intensity.

If I learn to look at my kids as just kids and not my ambassadors to the world, not test scores and brilliance and behavior issues, I will be able to relate to them as kids and not as problems.

more unschooling

Today ended up being another unschooling day.

2 yo woke up at 6 with a fever and not a single other symptom. The boys got up and got dressed by 8. When I was placing various things in and out of storage area and they were looking for makkot animals, they pulled out an electric piano ( kid-sized). I hat that toy, they blast volume, hiss in the microphone, bang total cacophony. This time it went a bit differently. 7 yo immediately tried Twinkle Twinkle  and got it, with a few mistakes. I suggested Oh Susanna ( one of his favorites). I did not know the notes, so I Goggled it. Then I realized that he did not know how to read sheet music, so I printed out keyboard layout and explained the scale. Someone will pounce on me, as I do not know the proper terms for this in English and I forgot how to sigh-read myself, but I can figure it out, with enough time. He caught on, and I started him on writing the notes' names under each note. They are labeled on the piano, so once he knows that this one is D, he can play the right one. He told me to go and worked on it for a while.

I went back to finishing my breakfast and thinking: I was taught piano for 3 years. Some of those were definitely against my will. As you can see, I do not have a whole lot to show for those years. I know that there are 8 notes. So do my kids ( Shemona Tzlilim Yafim from Shalom Sesame Chanukah). I can tell you that they are of different duration and that this part is for the right hand an this part is for the left hand. And Oh Susanna is performed to the count of four. The end.

Somehow, I was able to teach all of this in a very short period of time. The student was willing, the timing was right, the info was easily available. No, he cannot play it yet, but now I have tools to teach him and he has info in order to play.

Then we davened and shlepped to farmer's market--Pesach is still coming and nobody will buy those veggies for me. 7 yo checked off our extensive shopping list. 5 yo read which countries the vegetables came from. Then they both stood and gawked at the pineapple cutting machine. Then they asked to look at the lobsters and crayfish. Then they noticed yellow-fin tuna being sliced, it is hard not to notice a monstrosity of that size. They watched fish getting descaled and filleted. I practically had to drag them away, as 2 yo was not doing well.

7 yo switched to Boxcar Children from Greek mythology, just like that. I have four of those books, from some library sale, and, all of a sudden, they are interesting.

I got 2 yo to nap and got a start on Pesach cooking. I got 7 yo to peel eggplant and carrots and both boys to run up and down the stairs with various ingredients. One of the pilot lights went out, so I got a match and showed boys how to relight it. I also showed what happens in the oven when you turn it on. They were fascinated, 5 yo thanked me. Then he played with manual egg beater and excitedly explained how it works, how the cranking turns the gears and then the beaters. 7 yo asked to make some dessert, so we made almond bars. He measured out brown sugar and chocolate chips, ground the nuts and mixed the batter. He made a joke that it's weird dough--weirdo. Then I asked him to peel some potatoes. He asked for a reward. I promised a nut bar. He peeled away.

5 yo ran upstairs to check on sleeping toddler and then set up to play with legos. 7 yo joined him and pulled down a map. He asked me, how could Avram be promised the land all the way to Euphrates, that's part of Syria? How could that land be ours? I said that in the time of Mashiach, it will be worked out. He then asked how that could be done without wars. All of his historical reading plus chumash reading is integrating.

Once the toddler woke up, there was more misery, she just wanted to be held and cuddled. Thankfully, now her fever has broken, and all three kids are playing in the sandbox.

Pesach Trivia Questions

I have been thinking quite a bit how to make our seder more interactive for the kids. I have a few ideas, but not sure how many of them I will be implementing and how many of them will go as planned.

I am planning to have a bunch of trivia questions to throw out there whenever the kids will seem bored.

Here is my list ( the last few with asnwers I found online). They skew to the younger side, since I want my 5 yr old to feel that they are "easy-peasy".

1. What are the names of the holiday we are celebrating today?
2. What are the ingredients used to make matzah?
3. What are the names of the grains used to make matzah?
4. What does shmura matzah mean?
5. How long does one have before matzah dough becomes chametz?
6. What are two reasons for eating matzah at the seder?
7. When does one have mitzvah to eat matzah?
8. How many days is Pesach?
9. What happened on Pesach?
10. In which country were Jewish people slaves?
11. How long were they slaves?
12. How many people went down to Egypt?
13. How many people came up from Egypt?
14. Who is not mentioned in the hagaddah, but you cannot tell story of Yetziat Mitzraim without him?
15. How many steps are there at the seder?
16. How many cups are there? Why?
17. Which two korbanot were brought on Erev Pesach?
18. How are we reminded of them?
19. What tefila is said at night ONLY on seder night, but never during the year?
20. What caused Par’o to let the Jews go?
21. Name the makkos.
22. Which makkah is the scariest? ( subjective)
23. What is Shabbat HaGadol?
24. What are you not allowed to do with chametz on Pesach?
25. In which month do we celebrate Pesach?
26. What did Jewish people do in Mitzrayim so that Hashem would skip their houses during the last makkah?
27. Did Jewish people leave Miztraiym rich or poor?
28.  Which “dessert” do we eat tonight?
29. What is charoset?
30. Name Moshe’s brother and sister.
31. Why is Ha Lachma Ania in Aramaic?
32. Who are the four sons?
33. What does Dayeinu mean?
34. When is the right time for the seder?
35. Name the ingredients of Korech.
36. Which tefila is split into two parts during seder?
37. Which way do we recline?
38. Name some halachot of korban Pesach.
39. What kind of meat are we not allowed to eat during the seder?
40. What happened to Mitzrim as they chased Bnei Yisrael?
41. What is the last line in the hagaddah?
42. Where do the pesukim for maggid come from?
43. What happened in Bnei Brak?
44. Find out what Ben Zoma taught.
45. Who fasts right before Pesach and why?
46. Who is the 5th cup for? (Eliyahu)
47. What do we open right near the end of the seder (the door)
48. What do we do while drinking the wine? (lean)
49. Which way do we lean? (left)
50. Why do we eat maror? (bc slavery was bitter)
51. Name a vegetable u can use for karpas?
52. What do we dip karpas in? (salt water)
53. Why salt water? (tears of slaves, bitter)
54. what did the jews do with the blood of the sheep b4 leaving Egypt? (put it on their doorposts)
55. Name the 4 sons? (rasha, chacham, tam, she’eino yodea lisheol)
56. Sing mah nishtana
57. What do we eat with the matzah? (maror and charoset)
58. Name something u can use for maror?
59. How many times do we wash our hands during the seder? (2)
60. How many seders do we have in chutz laaretz? (2)
61. How many seders do Israelis have? (1)
62. Name 3 things that are chametz?
63. What are ways to get rid of chametz? (burn it, throw it out)

If you have any to add, please add! We will all benefit.

since we've been gone

Today ended up being first "regular" school day since our NY trip. The boys resisted, especially the oldest. As far as academics go, we went over hagaddah, reading parts out loud ( easy when you have been listening to Pesach songs AND looking over hagaddahs laying around, especially the comic one from NY). Both boys did Rosetta Stone.

5 yo did math, more place value through hundreds. 7 yo did telling time to a minute.

5 yo did handwriting both in English and Hebrew. He also asked for reading which was not on the list, so he read to me and I read to him. He was a bit worried about Llama, but I said that I would write half and he wrote the other half.

7 yo got stuck on spelling, he got "witch" wrong again, followed by "neighbor" and "eight". By that point, he was in tears, spelling is not his subject, he should be doing level A ( he's on D). Moreover, when I was telling how to spell words correctly, he wrote them wrong and then was frustrated to rewrite them. As a review, I asked him to type them on the computer and illustrate with clip art--that he really likes.

Then we got to math, which was about telling time to the minute. I got another earful how math is not his subject either, science is. I told him that if he puts in effort, that's what counts, not just what he naturally has talent in. I don't think he believed me.

Then he balked at Lashon HaTorah. I asked to do one page, he sat there, then asked to do half a page. Finally he did that.

At some point, he said that he wants to be uneducated, like Anglo-Saxons. I told him that those did not do so well. He said, that's because the Vikings got them, and they are not around any more, so he's safe. I tried hard not to smile, thinking how much knowledge is required to make all of those uneducated statements.

I have been toying with unschooling idea. I think my unschooling is more like very relaxed schooling, where kids can read a lot of whatever they choose, beg others to play educational games with them, listen to books on tape and ask the meaning of unfamiliar words, retell stories that they heard, make maps of empires, spontaneously sew afikomen bags, go to museums... in case you are wondering what we did for the past week's hiatus, this is what our learning has been like.

On the drive back from NY, 7 yo asked me why people in Israel say "Goal Yisrael" in Shemone Esre, aren't they not in galut any more? That led to a discussion of what is galut, why we are in galut, how do we get out of galut. These little spontaneous discussions cannot be coming from above, they have to come because the children want to know.

This is a Pesach plea

A little girl is crying...

A little girl is crying at the seder.

She is hungry. She is not crying because there is no food; she is crying because her Mommy made fancy food to impress the guests and now she has nothing to eat. All she wants is some chicken and potatoes, but instead there are piles and piles of dishes with unpronounceable names.

She has no place to sleep. She is not crying because she has no bed; she is crying because her parents insisted on having a seder out and now she is tired, but her comfortable bed  is far away.

Her clothes are no good. She is not crying because her clothes are tattered and old; she is crying because they are super-starched and uncomfortable. The white lacy collar is already crimson-red from grape juice and her mommy gave her an ugly look and shook her head.

She is tired. She is crying because this seder is dragging on too long, and she long ago lost interest, lost her place in the hagaddah, but the host wants to boast next morning that they had the longest nirtzah on the block.

She feels lost. She was trying to ask her Mommy today about the haggadah, but her mommy was too busy solving her friend's potato kugel crisis over the phone, so the girl was waved away.

Maybe she is not at the seder at all, she is crying because she is home with a babysitter while her parents are having adults-only seder, with fancy wine and even fancier conversation. She is not sure what her teacher meant when she said that seder is about kids asking questions. Who is she supposed to ask questions of?

A little girl is crying....

A little girl at risk.

A few years down the road, her parents will be crying because she won't be at the seder at all.

Please make your sedarim so that your kids would WANT to be there.

let's go fly a kite

mixing the dough

I decided to dedicate today more towards Pesach learning. I found illustrated Ma Nishtana for 5 yo on chinuch.org and a compilation of Pesach laws for 7 yo. I also decided to use OU's Pesach preparation guide as a springboard for discussion.

This morning 5 yo slept in till 9, some days kids need to sleep for 13 hours straight, but they will not be able to warn you the night before. So I started off with only two kids. 7 yo davened and then went downstairs for Rosetta Stone. Then we went over getting rid for chametz, not owning any, what is chametz and what is matzah. He worried about fish food; I told him we'll get worms for Pesach.

yeast makes it fluffy

Then we started on making our own matzah  experiment. We set up three bowls: two to rise for an hour and one to be baked right  away. One of the bowls which was to sit had yeast added to it. I mixed 1 cup of flour to 1/3 cup water. He and his sister had fun kneading it. Then we let it sit. In the meanwhile, I sent boys outside to run in the sunshine and 7 yo ran back with a bunch of flowers that he picked. He wanted to place them in colored water and watch what happens.

I'm very, very busy!

When the boys came in, I read about Ancient Egypt to 5 yo. We read about Khufu and he mentioned that he already heard about him. We also read about pyramids and how hard it was to build them without beasts of burden. Then we proceeded to try out three methods of writing that we read about: hieroglyphics on the rock, cuneiform on clay and ink on papyrus. I had some rocks for them to scratch and we looked up what hieroglyphics looked like. Those were some tough rocks, so 5 yo got discouraged that nothing was coming out. Then I pulled out Sculpey clay. The boys flattened it and drew on it with nails. Then I baked it. Finally, we proceeded to make our own paper. I used a bunch of scrap construction paper, everyone ripped it up and put it into food processor with a bit of water. OK, it required a whole lot of water to shred and not to ball up. 7 yo remarked that they made paper in Enrichment last year. We got red mush. I added a bit of bleach to lighten it and let the boys see how the color faded. Then I had a drying problem: I did not have a mesh to sit it out on. We pressed it into 9 X 13 pan and used hair dryer to speed up the process.

The finished product, left to right:
18 min, 1 hr and 1 hr with yeast.

Once this was done, we went back to making real ( chametz) matzah. 7 yo was able to complete the whole process, from mixing the ingredients to getting fully-baked flat bread in 18 minutes. Then we degustated with lunch. It tasted good with cream cheese and even better with chocolate spread. I did not realize how much flavor develops from dough sitting around and especially from yeast. It tasted like unpretentious pizza crust.

paper mush

After lunch, we did a bit more megillah. We discussed why Achashverosh could not sleep. 7 yo knew a midrash about the chronicles flopping back to the story of Mordechai. I said that it's possible that out of all stories being read to him, his mind was focused on that one, so it's as if all he could hear was how Mordechai saved his life, and was not rewarded. Then he asked why Achashverosh wanted to reward Mordechai, wasn't that his enemy that eh was planning to kill? I said that Achashverosh did not even think that Mordechai was Jewish and threatened. He just wanted to go back to sleep, so in his mind, as soon as Mordechai would be rewarded, he could relax. We also discussed how Haman assumed that he's king's favorite, so he did not think about his answer.

5 yo did a page of Yesh Lanu Lama. He wrote everything in himself, and even fixed his mistakes without any drama. Then both boys did math: a review of measurements for 7 yo and more place value in the hundreds for 5 yo.

Then we went to gymnastics. On the way over, 7 yo asked if we could go to mis'ada for dinner tonight. I said we'll go to mis'ada in NY, soon enough. On the way back from gymnastics I found myself straight in a piece from Mary Poppins: 5 yo is begging me to just go to the park to fly a kite and I'm saying no, no, we have to go home and eat dinner. And all he wants to do is fly his kite.

Maybe tomorrow.