post-Pesach

seder table
5:30 erev pesach

My older boys were born right around Pesach. 3 yo was born three weeks before Pesach, and the baby (who just turned one), was born a week after Pesach, which, this year, fell out on Pesach. My line used to be that Pesach is my favorite holiday. I like the challenges of new cooking, I look forward to kids' birthdays and recalling each crazy year, I like many days of Yom Tov when I can change the routine and sit down instead of feeling that I need to accomplish something or other. Usually, I do have a bit of a pre-Pesach freak-out, but it all comes together by Yom Tov, when the kitchen is turned over, the house is chametz-free, and all grocery store runs have been completed. We do our own seder since there is always a small child who needs to go to sleep before we ever start, and I fret about making it meaningful, yet somebody always comes up with some insight out of the left field, making the Yom Tov enjoyable.

seder table
6:30 erev pesach
Kids have to eat

This year, Pesach was just not coming together. I have a Pesach kitchen in this house, precisely because I always make Pesach, but it was still not working out. The bathroom next to the Pesach kitchen had to be repaired. Despite having a full year, the project was completed just three weeks before Pesach. I tried getting an early start on baking by making meringues which I adore, but they flopped. And I could not get enough motivation/anxiety to clean out chametz. Did I mention that we hold by not selling chametz, so we have to actually remove it? Days were ticking off, time was getting close, and I was still in a funk.

Then it dawned on me: what's harder than having a Pesach baby? Trying to make Pesach with a 1 year old! She was doing her part to keep things interesting. She kept throwing things out of her high chair, and spreading those Cheerios everywhere. Besides, a baby of this age needs to be constantly watched. She does not sleep nearly as much as a newborn, and she does not yet have any common sense, but she is mobile and active. I did enclose the living room as a space where she could be contained, but she is only happy in there for so long before starting to cry. So, out of 13 years that I have made Pesach, I was heavily pregnant or with a newborn for 4, and with an acitve one year old for 5. That's nine years of challenges. No wonder I don't feel so gung-ho about Pesach any more.

seder table
7:30 erev pesach

I did pull myself together, invited people over for the meals of the last days, and cooked and served for those meals. The company was pleasant, and it did feel like Yom Tov.

As for the seder prep, I pulled out my collection of Hagadahs, but the boys were most fascinated with The Exodus You Almost Passed Over by Rabbi Forhman. They both read it, and more than once. 10 yo kept bringing it to the table, reading out loud and discussing various points.3 yo stayed up for the seder, saw my husband put on his kittel and asked: "Why are you doing that?" "Thank you for fulfilling my obligation, So you could ask." He was not amused, but he was explained more about coming out of Egypt. And he even recited a nice part of Ma Nishtana. I know he was taught it in school, but I also have a Pesach CD that he kept asking me to put in, which contains it.

10 yo showed brotherly love
by putting up with 3 yo
messing up his experiment
(you need someone
of similar height for it to work)
at the science museum

On Chol HaMoed, I took kids places, hoping to rally just a bit. On Monday we went to the Museum of Natural History.

Kings of the rock at Noah's Ark

On Tuesday we visited an animal sanctuary with another homeschooling  family. The kids all had someone their own age to interact with, so the boys were able to go at their pace, and I could keep up with the littles.

Wednesday was the last day of coop classes followed by park day. I saw the boys' presentation from Lego Robotics class and missed the Bridges class one due to the littles being in toddler room. We brought out miracle bars to share. 12 walked around, advertising how good they are and sharing his insights about Pesach. I thought we will leave early enough for the babies to nap at home, but they both could not sleep. So, on the spur of the moment, I grabbed the willing kids and went to Botanical Gardens to sneak a peek at Chihuly exhibition. Our membership was running out and it did not officially open till after Pesach, but the glass was already installed. The kids loved running around finding the artwork: "There is a Chihuly!" And Thursday I went to taeknowdo with the boys followed by a cooking marathon for the last days.

Boys are presenting their robot

Now Yom Tov is over, the kitchen is back to chametz, laundry is churning from mounds of dirty into mounds of clean, and we bought our chametz. I am looking forward to Pesach when the youngest is 3. In the meanwhile, I will keep on trying to do what I can, and ignore the over-optimistic accounts of how easy it is to make Pesach.

Chihuly in the Botanical Garden

Manic Wednesday

I knew today was going to be insane. I forgot that I will have to drive the kids to preschool in the morning. That means getting the baby dressed and fed by 8:30, getting myself ready at the same time, helping 6 yo and 3 yo pack their lunches (they decided that they want to pack them) and shoving everyone out the door. The total driving takes an hour in the morning, so I am not back till 9:30. At 10, we leave for the coop. The baby falls asleep on the way back home. Her nap schedule is changing, and she is not so little any more to fall asleep in the car any time I drive. However, she is asleep and I transfer her into the house for a half an hour nap.

I get my lunch in order, and discover that boys did not pack theirs. They scramble for something, and I overlook that there is probably not enough food, and no fresh growing things were harmed in lunch packing. I sit 11 yo down to do chumash. As I was walking out the door this morning, he asked me whether Moshe glimpsed more of Hashem, or Yehezkel. I tell him that Yakov also saw Hashem "face to face" and there is an idea that a maidservant at the Red Sea saw more of Hashem than Yehezkel. (He knows that Hashem does not have a body, so it is not a physical revelation we are talking about.) I tell him that he can look up these places and see if he can order them somehow according to the fullness of revelation. But he did not do it, and I was not there to look them up with him. Instead, he prepared new pesukim, but I want him to do a Rashi on when exactly Moshe was setting up his mysterious personal tent of meeting. He sees the size of that Rashi and rolls not only his eyes, but his whole body. I admit, I am a bit intimidated by the length even with English translation, but I decided that we will diagram it into a timeline, and it will help in ordering the rest of the events. So he pulls himself together and reads. He can translate the whole thing. I diagram every new fact and time frame that we encounter. By the time we are done, it is 10:04. The baby wakes up, 9 yo informs me that we did not get to his chumash and he did prepare it, and 11 yo whines that we never did get to new pesukim, ugh. I grab the baby, grab a change of clothes, grab a few extra diapers, grab my lunch and get out the door.

We get to the coop on time. I nurse the baby. The boys are in their lego robotics class. They are loving it. In fact, when the class is over, they often linger well into the twenty minute break. Finally, they come out. I am pushing baby on the swings, and she is cooing and giggling away. I think how 3 yo hated swings, held on for his dear life. I think how he needed PT to walk and I was told that he had bad trunk control. I worry about this baby not crawling properly on her knees, she scoots on her behind or slides on her belly. But she must have decent trunk control. Or maybe she is fearless? Either way, it would be nice not to have worry about another late walker. While I am pushing her, the boys come to demonstrate the back flip off the swing that their friend taught them. It looks smooth, but it must be terrifying. They practice to do it together.

back flip off the swing

Their second class is on bridge structures. A lot of kids are absent, so the boys get out early. I ask 9 yo whether he would be able to do his prepared chumash with me off my phone (Beta Midrash app). he says that he can do it after lunch. Meanwhile I bump into a mom friend from the other location of the coop. We chat a bit, and then she asks me about 9 yo's behavioral issues. I tell her how I feel very done, defeated. She throws around a few suggestions, tells me to read, we commiserate over hard kids. "Have you prayed about it? Have you had him pray about it?" I stop, whirling. I am supposed to be davening about this kid. I barely get through brachot most mornings, hoping that nobody produces a poopy diaper and cuts my two minutes of organized prayer short. I do ask Hashem every day to help me not yell at my kids, but that has not been very successful. However, while I have taught 9 yo to daven and even told him where to insert his personal requests, I never thought to tell him to daven regarding his behavior.

A light bulb goes off in my head. "Thank you, I really have not thought about that."
"Oh, that's funny. I'm an atheist. But if it would help..."
And then we spend a few minutes chatting how prayer is about gathering your thoughts and reflections and getting clarity in formulating the requests. Did I mention how much I love my coop?

I do catch 9 yo later. "Chumash time?" He sits down next to me and we do his three review pesukim and three new pesukim. He gets worried for a moment that he cannot do them without his binder where he writes new words, but then changes his mind and goes through without a hitch. We are at Dina's rape and not exactly easy material that I want to be covering in the park. He might not even understand what exactly happened to Dina. He notices that after famously being called Leah's daughter, by the time Chamor gets to her, she is Yacov's daughter. Rashi does not comment. 9 yo also thought that Dina was pining for Chamor, so we had to set that straight. But he is done and gone.

At 2 pm, we get in the car to go and pick up 6 yo and 3 yo from preschool. 3 yo needs more diapers. He is not potty-trained yet, and he is at the stage where he wants underwear, but will have nothing to do with a toilet. I much rather deal with diapers than wiping up messes that he made and then tried to clean up on his own. Must remember to send more diapers to school.

bubbles in the museum

I drive the kids to the natural history museum that we rejoined last week. We have picture day at taekwondo, but that does not start till 4, and I do not want to go home for half an hour and then battle the traffic. The museum is just a few minutes away from the dojang, and 3 yo and 6 yo have not been there when we went last week. At 3:15, the parking lot is emptying out. We have the whole place to ourselves, even though there are still two hours till closing. The younger kids do not remember this place at all. I think 3 yo was not even born last time we were members. They ooh and aah over the dinosaur skeletons in the lobby. I warn the kids that we will only be here for an hour, but we will come back another time. Meanwhile, the baby has a dirty diaper and needs to nurse. I find a nursing room and leave 3 yo with the older kids, bur he decides that he wants to be with me, so he runs away, screaming. Then, as I am changing the baby, he runs out, looking for the boys. I sigh and finish the diaper change. 3 yo comes back since he did not find them. I need to nurse and I am in what is technically a nursing room. There is no bathroom, just a rocking chair, a changing table, and a locking door. There are some books and puzzles. I lock the door and sit down to nurse. 3 yo melts down, he does not want to be confined. I talk to him how he wants to get out so badly. I suggest looking at books or the puzzles. He tells me how everything is yucky, but he calms down.

I have mixed feelings about these nursing rooms. It is surely nice that museum provides them. They have nursing mothers in mind, and this one does not have a toilet in it, so it is designated exclusively for nursing. When 6 yo was nursing, I would give such set-up unconditional thumbs up. Yet now I feel that it is almost wrong to tuck nursing mothers away, in another room, far from the exhibits and the rest of the family. I nurse in public with a cover-up and if we really want to encourage breastfeeding, why are we putting moms away? Besides. that room did not have good ventilation, and it stunk of dirty diapers, my baby's included. Then I had to go and find an actual bathroom to wash my hands... somebody thought of this room as a PR gimmick, not as a service.

My kids delight in the museum. I thought it would be a bit boring for the boys, but they are eating it up. I get to stand back and watch all four of the older ones engage in their own ways. These outings are what we do the best. But I have to hustle everyone out since we still need to get to taekwondo and get pictures taken.

waiting for taekwondo picture

I almost chose not to go this year. We only did this once in the past, and I don't want to spend the money on the pictures. But now that I am doing taekwondo too, I want a picture of myself with the boys. Who knows how long I will keep it up? It can all change due to scheduling conflicts, but we can pull it off this year. I tell 6 yo that she will be in charge of her sister while we are getting photographed. What I did not account for was the slow-moving line. We spend time waiting. I take the baby out and let her crawl. She grabs boys' kipas off their heads. 3 yo is running around in circles. I keep on hoping that our turn will come soon. Finally, we get posed and photographed. I told the boys that we are only buying one group shot, not the individual poses. They are disappointed, but not too badly. Then we wait on second line, to select the images and the background. I talked boys out of the flaming background as being too busy. We agreed on something with a tiger in the back. My understated self cringes. Finally, we have to pick the best image. I look at myself: slouching, double chin, tired eyes. I do not look good. I do not look fierce, I do not look like I have this covered, like we are having fun. The boys look nice in almost every shot. I gently steer them towards the least tired-looking image. The baby is screeching and complete strangers are handing her toys that she tossed overboard. Meanwhile 6 yo is protecting her brother from another kid who keeps coming up and doing monster hands in their faces. I hustle everyone out to the car and drive home.

3 yo refuses to be buckled by his brothers and complains about burritos that are for dinner. Waze would not work to direct us home in the fastest way possible. It is 5:30 and the baby is not happy. We pull in and I get into my frenzy mode for everyone to unload the car and carry in more that one little item. I always seem to have my hands literally full with the baby, cups, bags, and keys. I always leave something in the house that belongs in the car and vise versa. We get in and I start dinner: defrosted burritos go on the frying pan,  defrosted corn on the cob goes in the pot, leftover coleslaw to round it off. If I would be any more organized, I would be freaking Marth Stewart. Nobody eats soup except for the baby, 3 yo, and me. 3 yo melts down because his burrito unrolled and the insides spilled out. I cannot help him, since I am seated across the table, feeding the baby. 11 yo asks some deep and meaningful questions about the nature of school and why isn't everyone homeschooled. I try to respond, but it is impossible to keep the conversation going.

My husband is on call overnight, so I am on my own. The baby throws dinner off her high chair tray. I have a Smirnoff Ice and immediately feel my face flushing. It happened with wine before, but I assumed that it was sulfites. I cannot be allergic to alcohol, can I? 6 yo cannot find "Wizard of Oz" that we are reading for a good night story. 3 yo's singing siddur does not work. "It needs new batteries!" I ask for a miniature screwdriver, but it does not fit. The baby does not settle down easily. By the time I finish washing up the dishes and sit down on the couch, it occurs that we did not do new pesukim or the megilah today. 11 yo: "You look tired." I feel tired.

And the crazy part is, this day does not strike me as out of the ordinary. Why am I masterminding this craziness?

hectic day

Today was very hectic. My husband had a delivery to attend in the middle of the night, and the baby was up quite a bit. There was a laundry backlog, so in the morning one boy had no tzitzit. 9 yo asked to watch Pokemon for his davening treat which made sense at the time, since I wanted to make piles of laundry for the boys to fold and put away. What ended up happening was that I stopped them in the middle, and which 7 yo folded his laundry and taught his sister how to to fold shorts and pants, 9 yo sulked about chumash. He does not want to do it. There is more speeches about how its unfair that he is doing chmaush while his brother is doing laundry and then he will be stuck doing laundry while he will get to watch. I pointed out that he could be working on chumash instead of wasting time complaining about it, but he did not feel any better. He does not want to review. He does not want to do Rashi. He did not want to fold laundry either. I felt that I spent the whole morning coaxing him to do what he should be doing anyway.

spontaneous group davening

Then we drove out to a filed trip in Tellus museum. When I committed to it, I did not realize that it will involve an hour of driving. Thankfully, the baby slept the whole way. When we got there, my kids knew other homeschooled kids, so they hung out a bit watching a pendulum. There was a workshop on bubble-making for the boys. I let my daughter lead the way through the rest of the exhibits. One of the moms told me about a room where one can pan for gems, and about a dinosaur dig. I made sure that we attended those. 

experimenting with inclined planes

When I give a chance for my daughter to spend as long as she wants on the activities in the absence of boys, she picks a few things and does them for a long time instead of covering a lot of ground. She spent the bulk of the time panning and fossil digging. She got to keep all the gems and a shark tooth. Little did I know that 9 yo will covet those more than the bubble fluid they made in the workshop! He was upset that they did not get to pan. We had to rush out since we would not get back in time for taekwondo and the boys were supposed to get their fighting gear. 

On the way back we hit some traffic, so the boys were late. The baby woke up once we got off the highway, and nobody could reach his pacifier. I hate it when we are rushing. Once we got to taekwondo the boys still had to change into their uniforms, and I had to nurse a screaming baby. 3 yo fell asleep and woke up screaming that the baby is screaming and that is bothering her. Oy!

digging for fossils

On the way back I had to stop by the library to return a book and couple of DVDs. I dropped them off, only to come home and find a message that one of the cases was missing its DVD. Sure enough, it was still in my computer. 

We got home after 6, and I still had dinner to make and laundry to tackle. 9 yo kept asking which other chores he needs to do, as he wanted to watch TV before 7. At some point, I just had to tell him that it will not be happening and that led to more disappointment.

Finally everyone was fed, and changed into pajamas. I read to 3 yo, while the boys read on their own. Our library has a summer reading program, where for every 15 minutes of reading we are supposed to attach a sticker and then turn in a log for prizes. What it leads to are never-ending questions of "How long have I been reading?" Well, I did not see when you started, and I have no doubt that you read enough in a week to finish the log, but, for propriety's sake, you need to keep track of it. I just saw a statistic that kids need to read 4-5 books over the summer to keep up their reading level. I think they read that many in the course of the day. Even 3 yo is "trying" to read, i.e. memorize a book and recite it back.

Oh what a day! Somehow our unschooling is not producing as low-key experience as I would like it to be.

When life gives you lemons...

Striking a pose like the clay figure in the back

The day  started with 8 yo complaining that his stomach hurts and then throwing up. Of course, this had to happen on a day when coop was taking a field trip to the local museum to look at Ancient Egypt artifacts. However, afterwards, he totally rallied, ate quite a breakfast and was bouncing on the bed after completing Rosetta Stone. So we went to the museum.

There is a problem when your kids keeps arguing with the docent about the displays. I am used to that in science museums, but this is a first in a history/art setting. I wished he would talk less and listen more, but this is my bias. I was brought up with the attitude that an older person has more knowledge, so you shut up and listen. He has guts? ego? self-confidence to think otherwise and to express his opinions and knowledge.

I brought a baby carrier for the toddler, I learned my lesson from chasing an overtired kid in Museum of Natural History. Only I'm not sure whether I gained anything, as most of the time it was "Pick me up! Put me on your back! I want down! Carry me!" However, even she enjoyed looking at Greek statues and wondering where the heads and arms went. Then we entered Central America and there were pots with feet. There she also looked for missing heads. Bottom line, the boys enjoyed the trip and I got suckered into buying everyone a scarab in the gift shop, although I milked it, making 8 yo calculate how much money I spent on those three scarabs.

Watching tree cutting

On the 7 minute car ride back. the scarabs were relating their journey to each other in squeaky voices: "I'm glad to be out of that basket. This street looks familiar. Remember coming here on a truck?" I decided to make this into a creative writing assignment when we come home.

When we got home, the neighbors were having a tree cut down. There was a man, 30 feet up a tree with spikes on his boots and a chainsaw. They boys camped out in the backyard to watch. They even asked for picnic lunch, so that they would not miss any action.

I assumed that would be the end of schoolwork for today, but they came in when the tree people went for lunch.

8 yo did spelling. He filled in more dates on his timeline and marked off Egyptian epochs ( his idea). He did Lashon HaTorah and then we did Chumash. I talked it up into a mystery saying that he already dealt with the same story in Lech Lecha, and the end was the same, but the details were different. We did first four pesukim of perek Chav. He translated two pesukim without any help. We discussed that Avimelech got a nevuah but paroh didn't. However, what he was most interested in was the map of where Avraham traveled. His Chumash has one in the back. I found it interesting to see where Tzoar was: it is surrounded on one side by mountains and on the other side by the Dead Sea. No wonder Lot's daughters felt that there are no people left in the world.

6 yo wrote a short song about his scarab and did Lama without much drama.


In the afternoon, we picked up some friends, watered our plants. They kids played outside. Then everyone made pizza for dinner. Ice cream for dessert, then group benching. Even 2 yo can do the first paragraph now and she tries to say brachot before eating. Some drumming before baths, some element watching before bed. Book reading. Discovering that 8 yo threw up in bed instead of toilet this morning. Unexpected laundry.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!