Thursday, August 1, 2013

ish iti (somebody by your side)

If I was more together, this blog would have links.

A homeschooling friend of mine shared a list of things which are hard for homeschoolers, and one of them was lack of ability to run out and do something on your own, as the kids are ALWAYS there. She commented how it is not an issue for her, although one of her kids is older, so she feels like having a possibility to run out if need be actually reduces the need and makes her feel that she does not need it. Another homeschooling blogger wrote about her wonderful day of outings with kids, and how pleasant and adventurous it could be. What was missing from her blog was her own catchers on the sidelines, people who watched some of her kids at different points during the day so she only came out with a few at a time.

I do not have this ish iti--a person by my side. The idea comes from Yom Kippur, the person who accompanied a goat to Azazel had people set up booths with food, in case he became faint and had to eat to continue on his journey. I believe that according to Gemara he never broke his fast. However, it seems that rabbis were aware of the human psychology and knew that by giving him an opportunity to do so would allow him to continue in his mission, since the option was there.

I do not have ish iti. I cannot drop off a few uninterested kids if I have to run an errand. I do not have babysitters willing to come at a drop of a hat. I do not have any family members willing or able to take my kids even to the park, forget about a larger outing. Every single trip, every errand--it's me. Worse, since my husband is frequently on call or waiting for a delayed procedure, I cannot count on him being home by a certain hour to pick up slack. He could be home by dinner time. He could be home by bed time. He could be home to help with baths. He could get home and then be paged right back into the hospital. Or he could be coming home only the following night.

I am still trying to figure out what to do.

I know that a huge part of ish iti is psychological, but not having this kind of safety net is very hard.

1 comment:

  1. Most people do not have babysitters who can come at the drop of a hat, but is there a way you can find a few teens or young adults who are interested in occasional babysitting, so there are always a couple possible candidates? Finding babysitting candidates is a matter of networking and possibly advertising on Jewish websites. It takes a small amount of work now for a bigger benefit later.

    If it's a financial limitation, I sympathize.