money, money, money...

We just started a new semester of classes at the coop. 9 yo is signed up for Project-Based Learning class, where he would get guidance to pursue whatever project he chooses and then he would share it with the group. The teacher e-mailed me a short questionnaire for 9 yo to fill out, to learn a bit about him. I printed it out and passed it on to him. He was done pretty quickly and I decided to go over it with him.


The first question was: What is the coolest thing in your house? His answer: money.
Next question: What is the coolest thing you had seen in a friend's house? His answer: Nintendo DS 3D.

I was very upset by these. We are comfortable financially, but not exuberantly wealthy. We do not spend our free time shopping or fantasizing about owning things. We eat out once a month and have not taken any vacations since last November. I am the kind of person who much rather get things for free or as a bargain than pay full price. When we moved to Houston, we went for almost a year without a couch, and almost two  years with one car. We are definitely not keeping up with the Joneses. I had a tzedakah guy shake his head in surprise at our house, not meeting his expectations. Yet my son thinks that the coolest thing we have is money.

We have too many books (my fault) and too many toys. Both my mother and my MIL are in a competition of who will get the kids the next great thing. Right now, 9 yo is obsessed with getting a Nintendo DS. He spent quite a bit of time online comparing prices, looking at options, checking out accessories. At some point he had almost enough allowance and gift money to buy one, but he impulsively spent it here and there and abandoned his dream. I did not mind, I thought this is teaching him fiscal responsibility. By the way, his weekly allowance is $2.25, with a tenth going to tzedakah. When we are talking about such small sums, I do not care what he does with them. As of late, he got quite a bit of gift money, and he revived the DS dream. He spent hours calculating how many weeks of allowance plus recycling it would take him to buy it. He remembered to include sales tax and tried figuring it out, first on his own, and then with some assistance from me. I did not mind this; there is a budgeting lesson in there, not to mention some math. There is working towards a goal. There is delayed gratification and anticipation.

Then my mother decided to be very nice and generous, and is sending him the rest of the sum to get that Nintendo. He became very happy; I became upset. He was getting a lucky break, which nullified all the positive lessons of saving patiently. After a day, his happiness dissolved, as is evidenced by the fact that getting a Nintendo DS is now not as cool as 3D DS he saw in someone's house. And the DS is not even ordered yet! I think he was getting more happiness from browsing and fantasizing about DS than he will get from the actual thing. I mean, if he really needed it, I would have gotten it for him already. And who needs a handheld game?

I spoke to him about how his answer on the questionnaire was not showing what he was like, and he, being honest said that he WISHED he was different and did not want to play computer games all day and not think about money, but that is the true answer.

Is this an age-appropriate fixation? Will it pass? Are your kids thinking about money?

lazy days of summer

Yesterday, after spending a whole lot of the morning hours watching Pokemon (and after chumash), 9 yo decided to run a lemonade stand. It sounded so predictable that I was getting teary-eyed: he's doing a stereotypical thing for the kids his age. He wants to make money. He's willing to build it. He will put in some effort, some creativity, experience some frustration and get rewarded for his hard work. Maybe we can tie in some money math. Ahh, the budding entrepreneur, my son...

This is how it actually went:

squeezing the lemons

He wanted to build it and told me that daddy showed him some wood in the garage. When we went to retrieve it, he saw a folding table and decided to use that instead. He needed 7 yo's help to haul it out and set it up by the curb. They dragged over two lawn chairs. I envisioned a huge handmade sign, but 9 yo got on Word and printed one out, with the price and clipart. 7 yo, 3 yo and her friend were in charge of making the lemonade. They got the lemons and juiced them, then I helped with the sugar and water. 7 yo added ice cubes. Meanwhile 9 yo forgot all about the lemonade and went to watch more Pokemon. 7 yo told him that he is ready. They borrowed a toy cash register from 3 yo, got some cups, and set themselves up. They offered me a free cup, for helping.

ready for business

They sat there, waiting for a customer to come. A few cars drove by, as heads expectantly turned and followed them. Nobody stopped. I took a picture and posted it on Facebook, hoping to drum up some business. The responses came from people too far away to buy. The girls left for the swings. More cars, but no stops. The boys poured each other a cup. 3 yo came to get her cash register back. I came out to buy two cups. They did not have enough to make change. 9 yo proposed "buy one, get one free" deal to entice the customers. I pointed out that he cut the price of profit in half.

Shortly, the kids started fighting. The stand was closed for the day. Everything was cleaned up. Pokemon commenced once more.

Afterwards, I spoke to 9 yo what he could have done differently to be more successful. He suggested selling on a busier street and producing more professional signs. We talked about advertising in advance, and putting up fliers throughout the neighborhood. He wanted to make it a fruit juice stand, with more variety, but I sensed that he was discouraged by this whole experience. Oh, how I wished he would have gotten at least one real customer!

Today we reviewed Chumash. 9 yo finished the first perek, and the kiddush part of the second one. He asked about Hashem finishing work on the seventh day, and I brought up Rashi, to which he shuddered and shook, but did it. He also asked me previously about why it is E-lokim and not Hashem, to which I brought another Rashi. I think it is great that he is asking the same p'shat questions that Rashi had, but he finds it annoying that I do not just tell him the answer.

Then we went to the aquarium. Today DeepSea Challenger was making a brief stop in front of the aquarium, so we checked it out first. Yesterday it rained and rained, so looking at a submarine made sense. Then we saw the exhibits. My husband came along and he was surprised by how crowded the aquarium was. I used to be wondering about all the people lolling around during work hours: we are homeschoolers, but don't you all guys have somewhere to be? Now it does not phase me, but he was surprised.

The aquarium is loud and flashy and big. I usually get overwhelmed just by entering it. My kids have their own experiences, touching stingrays and sharks, watching the dive show and the dolphin show, seeing the otters, dissecting a virtual frog. At least, they enjoy it.

As soon as we got home, 9 yo got onto Pokemon.com again. I unplug the kids periodically, for chores. During these breaks they remember all of a sudden that they need to use a bathroom, or that they are hungry or thirsty. Then 9 yo drifts right back.

We shut off TV/computer at 7 pm. Then, after getting pajamas on, 9 yo pulls out a highschool world history textbook and reads it. I am not so sure whether it counteracts the mindlessness of the show. I am sticking to my guns till the end of the week, allowing for unlimited watching/game playing, and I am realizing two things:
   1. It is not as bad as I think.
   2. It is a huge time drain.
For the past three nights, just as I start tucking in the baby, 9 yo mentions how he didn't sped any time with him. I find it funny: they were both under the same roof the whole day, yet his attention was so absorbed by watching that he literally ignored another person. He also complained how I keep interrupting his night reading, because he is not getting in hours and hours of reading he is used to getting. And I wish he chose to watch something that causes neurons to fire, not utterly predictable Pokemon. Good guys are walking along.bad guys show up, good guys get beaten up, pull out a new trick, bad guys are pulverized, good guys seek new adventures. Maybe he likes the predictability of outcomes, while getting an adrenaline rush.

Philosophy or ma'amad har Sinai al regel achad

This morning, we are driving to my chiropractor's appointment. 6 yo and 2 yo davened at home before we left and 8 yo davened in the car, kind of quickly, because he wanted me to turn Handel's "Water Music" back on. Then out of the blue, he asks me, how do we know that Torah is from Hashem? I clarified his question, and I explained that Torah was given to Moshe by Hashem and we have Jewish people gathering around Har Sinai in a public event as proof ( for a thorough article on this approach, click here ). I gave an example of an earthquake which happened when I was  a child. I described my experience and said that the details of it would vary from person to person, but, if he would ask other family members who were there, the basic facts would be the same. Then I explained that if he would ask other people who lived in the same region, they would all tell him about this earthquake and he would have to conclude that it really happened, even if he was not there. Next step is for him to tell his children about this earthquake, and then they would tell their children. That would become a family story, which would be confirmed by children of others, who had the same story. Based on this evidence, one living many years from now would have to conclude that there really was an earthquake. I explained that's the reason that Torah was given in a public ceremony, so that there would be many witnesses to the revelation, and they would all have the same story to tell their children, and to corroborate the written account.

He listened to it and said that he has proof that Torah is not true, why else would it bother telling us everything that is in Breshit ( Genesis)? I said, aha, you hit upon Rashi's question on the first pasuk in the Torah, we was also wondering why the Torah did not start with giving us mitzvot and instead tells us the long story beforehand. I am hoping to show him that Rashi today.

Now this is basic philosophical questions underlying Judaism. I had theses premises explained to me in highschool. I know that I was lucky to go to a school where such questions and discussions were encouraged. I know that there are plenty of kids who grow up doing Torah without ever considering if it's true. It has been hammered into them that it's so and that's the end of the story.

The fact that these questions spontaneously arise in my son's mind and he is willing to discuss them are my proof that I am doing something right with this whole homeschooling thing. I keep thinking how to further our immersion in Torah, the way that we are immersed in science and reading and math.

On the way back, we passed by Best Buy. 6 yo asked, is it really the best buy tat happens inside? I told him that the store would like its customers to think so, even if its products or prices might be inferior. Now this Best Buy was next to The Dump, and that was the next question, how is that a good name for a store? I explained again how it attracts bargain hunters by making them think that whatever's is dumped there must be a good deal. That led to a discussion about opening up a vegetable stand and how one would want to have varied produce for sale, in large enough quantities. Somehow, we were discussing supply and demand, scarcity, pricing. I hope that all these early conversations about consumer economics will have impact later on, when the kids will have to be making purchasing decisions.

home economics

Today was co-op Wednesday. I was out of ideas for things to do with toddlers and we haven't made it to the library to restock on books, so late last night I kept mulling over: cats? dinosaurs? sheep? I settled on faces and printed out some without eyes, figuring we can add sticker eyes and draw hair.

A lot of people were out today, so it was a pretty quiet time. I ended up catching up a bit with a friend of mine and now we have a whole shabbos lunch planned out and another chance at grown-up conversation.

7 yo did clock series in art: he drew pictures of analog and digital clocks, hourglass and sundial. He said that he was influenced by Catlanta(?), some bizarre artists who is still alive and works locally. I think he was amazed that artists could be contemporary, not just dead people.

5 yo came out of his art with Eye of G-d project. It is basically two sticks crossed over, tied with multiple strands of colored yarn. He said it's called eye of G-d in Mexican language. I am staring  at this thing and hoping it is not a cross that my child has been working on... I googled it later, it's not that bad, but will probably be quietly disposed of in the next couple of days.

On the way home, the boys started haggling over the price of sitting in the back seat, where 7 yo sits now. ( I have five car seats in the car now for carpool, so certain spots are off limits and certain others are valuable). He was trying to sell the rights to his seat. We used to have a rule that nothing could be bought or sold, since the older always took advantage of the younger. This time, I bit my tongue and wanted to see where all of this went. At some point, 7 yo was selling his seat for 2 years for all of 5 yo's allowance, which is upward of 20$.
5 yo: But then I will have no money. So you want me to be poor?
7 yo: It's not that I want you to be poor, I want to be rich.
Thinking a bit: How about I pay you back a bit? I can give you a penny every day.
5 yo: And I get to sit in the back? It's a deal!
As we got home, I told boys I will have to think whether this is fair.

We came home and had lunch. Everyone asked for bagels, got their own plates and cleaned up. 2 yo went for a nap. The boys did Rosetta Stone. 5 yo did handwriting and ketiva. I wanted to focus more on lameds, he wanted to move on to pei sofit. To my amazement, he got it.

7 yo asked for spelling, he said it is his favorite. He was a bit discouraged, as he got three words wrong today. One of them was "yelled", he forgot one l. The he tried squeezing it in. Then he blacked out the whole word. I told him that nobody will see his writing, it is only for him to see which words he knows and which need more study. We pulled out a tray of rice for tracing today; as I expected, it was a hit. Then the imagination took over, the boys wanted to add water to it and mold it. That was out of my comfort zone. 5 yo also wanted to trace words in it.

Then the boys did math. 7 yo worked on feet and yards. I was glad that we had a yardstick, because even though he told me that there are three feet in a yard, he could not figure out how many yards are in 4 feet. 5 yo worked more on 2nd grade math. I find it amusing. I get the point of not wasting time on trying to teach kids concepts which are way above their heads. I get the point of waiting and teaching later, but going through the material quicker rather than stretching it out. I get the idea of challenging and prodding out of comfort zone. But the idea of a reluctant child doing math two levels above with ease and WANTING to do it... either this is his strong area and he does not feel that he's being challenged, or I am missing the forces at play. To please mommy? To prove me wrong?

Then there was chumash. I asked 7 yo whether he wanted to start with it. He declined. When we finally got there, 2 yo woke up screaming. She only wanted to pee downstairs. I did not want to take her there. She was screaming, I was impatient, 5 yo was running around. And I was trying to get 7 yo to read Vaeyra. Now it all sounds ridiculous. 7 yo finally broke the impasse by taking her to the downstairs bathroom. We did two more pesukim. In the pshat, it should be Lot talking to the malachim, but it says "vayomer", "and he said". I was waiting for him to ask the obvious, "who is he?" but he did not. I bit my tongue. Maybe it's time for another review sheet of mi amar al mi to refocus. I am realizing that even at our leisurely pace of two pesukim a day, we will be doing 12-14 pesukim a week.

5 yo read a new section from Lama.

Then we headed out to redeem Ace Hardware groupon by buying a new alarm clock for the boys. The old one got destroyed during the sleepover and not knowing what time to wake up is a major concern for the 7 yo. Before we got to the store, the boys asked if they can get some tchochke toys and I said: we'll see. When we got to the alarm clocks, 7 yo quickly calculated that if we buy a cheaper one, the chances for him to get a toy are higher. Then the boys went to check out the bargain section while I loaded on some potting soil. Our total came up exactly to groupon. The boys got LED flashlight rings. As we got to the car, 7 yo discovered that his does not work. I gave him the receipt and told to ask for a replacement. He marched in and very politely did just that. Till now, he usually claimed to be too shy in such situations.

Then we walked to Office Depot to laminate some Purim stuff. 7 yo was surprised that we walked there and did  not drive. The boys hung out nicely, exploring nooks and crannies of the shelves while the clerk was fighting the laminating machine which kept sucking in empty plastic sleeves.

We had milchig tacos for dinner. 7 yo first retold the story of an emperor without clothes.Then he made up a lengthy story about how the cheetah got its speed, Kipling style. He mixed in the African legend of tear marks on cheetah's eyes, but the rest was quite original. After dinner,7 yo sulked a bit since he wanted Bruster's for dessert and kind of mentioned it in the car this morning. I used my standard "we'll see" and 5 yo piped in from Winnie the Pooh: you always see, but nothing comes out of it. I guess that's true. "We'll see" buys me time and allows to explore how I feel on the issue. Sometimes the answer is "yes", I just did not consider it. And even if the answer is "no", it is gentler after I put some thought into it instead of knee-jerk response. At the end, the boys got Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, with whipped cream, syrup and sprinkles.

Then it was haircut time. The boys needed it. I usually cut their hair at home, but every once in a while, I will take them to get professionally straightened out. This was at home job. They knew that we will be getting pizza tomorrow for Rosh Chodesh, and I explained before that every time they get a barber haircut, that's one less pizza to eat out. While monetarily this is worth it, effort-wise it is a bit crazy, since I have to keep three kids  out of a pile of hair and stick them straight into shower... but for me, that is one less dinner to cook, serve and clean up after!