Part 1.
We got a book through PJ Library in the mail, addressed to 8 yo. It's called Jeremy's Dreidel and talks about a boy who makes a dreidel with braille letters on its sides so his blind father can play it with him. Simultaneously, the book introduces what it's like to be blind and to live with someone who is blind. It highlights how much blind people can do. 8 yo recommended that we read it out loud tonight. At the back, there are directions for making a few different kinds of dreidel, including the Braille one. I noted that Hebrew Shin is not like any letter of English braille. Next thing I know, we are googling Hebrew braille charts. And the next thing after that, I find an article on the development of Hebrew braille, attached here for those who are interested. Now 8 yo wants to read that article, but it is bedtime, so I am printing it out. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Requests for more articles? Writing something in Hebrew Braille? And which category does this learning belong to? History? Language arts? Does it matter?
Part 2.
As I am tucking the boys in, 6 yo says:
-Please do not look under my bed, Mommy!
Now he really got my attention.
-Why? What do you have there?
-You will be mad, so please do not look.
-What is it?
8 yo peeks under:
-It's a book!
-Were you planning on reading in bed?
-Yes, because it is Torah! You never give us a chance to read, and it is Torah, so you have to let me read it!
It was his parsha book, the one he has been reading on Friday. Of course, he read plenty today. He read a chapter of Henry Huggins (good old Beverly Cleary!), he read Magic School Bus in the Time of Dinosaurs, but he felt that he needed to get even more reading time in, and of Torah, too.
This is a kid who did not know his letters early on, had no interest in reading (but loved being read to), and did not develop fluency till fairly recently. I am pretty sure he would not be willing to read out loud: I have to sneak it in by asking him to read the quotes in Magic School Bus. But here he is, sneaking in Torah reading, yet being too honest not to let me know that he's planning on sneaking. We compromised by me putting the book out in the living room, so he can read it first thing tomorrow morning.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
awesome Friday
You know those days when you look back and say: this is so enjoyable and I am getting so much satisfaction? Well, today was one of those.
It did not start exactly on the right foot: 2 yo and 8 yo were duking it out for my lap space on the couch and I do not enjoy mediating fights while it is still dark outside. 8 yo asked for pancakes for breakfast, and I asked him to set the table in return.
Everyone davened, and then I presented the schedule for the day. It was not met with great enthusiasm. 6 yo complained that I did not include Lama or any reading time. 8 yo complained that I did not include Rosetta Stone. I thought I am going easy on everyone since it is the first early Friday. However, 6 yo zoomed through his work and was done by 10 am. In that time he did math, handwriting, spelling and Lashon HaTorah. We still had parsha to do, so I told him to find a parsha reader and go read quietly in his room while 8 yo catches up. The older one was done by 11 am. He did review in math, script, spelling and Lashon HaTorah.
Then we moved on to parsha. Since 8 yo is learning Chayei Sorah in depth, I was quite familiar with the part that we covered so far: Eliezer meeting Rivkah. I was not sure what to do about the rest: cover it in depth? Skip it, so it is new and fresh? Cover it lightly? I decided to focus on a few highlights and keep the rest for more in-depth study. Then we acted out the story by the well. 8 yo wanted to be Eliezer. 6 yo wanted to be a camel, and so did 2 yo. I got to be Rivkah. The boys found saddles and harness for the camels, jewelry for Eliezer to give to Rivkah, a bucket for the well and a gallon jug. They asked me what a nose ring is, and I googled it to show them. We also discussed how much a camel can drink. They filled up the gallon jug with water and tried carrying it around on their shoulders, but nobody lasted too long. I am thankful for indoor plumbing, these kids would make lousy water carriers!
WE acted out the story till they got to Betuel's house. The boys remarked on how much fun they had, and I made a mental note to do this more often.
Then we had lunch and for dessert, we made edible aquifers, to show how a well works. I got this idea from this blog. We talked a bit about wells before and we tried making one with clay/soil, sand and rocks, but I saw that the idea was not sticking. We used dyed seltzer for water, ice cubes for the aquifer, ice cream for impermeable layer and cookie crumbs for the soil. The straws were the wells. When 6 yo asked: so the well has to reach the aquifer to get water, I knew that he finally got the concept.
2 yo helped me make the lemon bars, there is chicken soup simmering on the stove, the kids are washed and we are set for Shabbos. I did most of my cooking yesterday, so not scrambling at the last minute adds to today's calmness.
Shabbat Shalom to all!
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| edible aquifer |
It did not start exactly on the right foot: 2 yo and 8 yo were duking it out for my lap space on the couch and I do not enjoy mediating fights while it is still dark outside. 8 yo asked for pancakes for breakfast, and I asked him to set the table in return.
Everyone davened, and then I presented the schedule for the day. It was not met with great enthusiasm. 6 yo complained that I did not include Lama or any reading time. 8 yo complained that I did not include Rosetta Stone. I thought I am going easy on everyone since it is the first early Friday. However, 6 yo zoomed through his work and was done by 10 am. In that time he did math, handwriting, spelling and Lashon HaTorah. We still had parsha to do, so I told him to find a parsha reader and go read quietly in his room while 8 yo catches up. The older one was done by 11 am. He did review in math, script, spelling and Lashon HaTorah.
 |
| giddy up! |
 |
| this camel is resting |
 |
| Anachronistic prayer of Eliezer |
Then we had lunch and for dessert, we made edible aquifers, to show how a well works. I got this idea from this blog. We talked a bit about wells before and we tried making one with clay/soil, sand and rocks, but I saw that the idea was not sticking. We used dyed seltzer for water, ice cubes for the aquifer, ice cream for impermeable layer and cookie crumbs for the soil. The straws were the wells. When 6 yo asked: so the well has to reach the aquifer to get water, I knew that he finally got the concept.
2 yo helped me make the lemon bars, there is chicken soup simmering on the stove, the kids are washed and we are set for Shabbos. I did most of my cooking yesterday, so not scrambling at the last minute adds to today's calmness.
Shabbat Shalom to all!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
what does your daughter do all day?
I have two school-age boys and a 2 yo girl. The question I get is, how do you keep 2 yo occupied while you are teaching the boys?
As you can surmise from my posts, I do not spend hours every day just sitting and breathing down the boys' backs as they cover subject by subject. I am present, and I might be more involved in some areas (chumash, kriyah) than in others. Most of the activities are hands-off for me, and I just check the final result, or tell where the corrections are necessary. That gives me more time to attend to 2 yo.
As far as her schedule goes, she gets quite a bit of freedom. She gets dressed when the boys get dressed, eats breakfast with the rest of us, davens after the boys and just hangs around, observing and joining in whatever we are doing. If the boys are sitting at the dining room table, writing, she will do one of her "projects". She knows where I keep the scrap paper, stickers and shapes for gluing. She gets glue and scissors, pencils, crayons, whatever strikes her, brings them over and starts working. Then she will tell me when she is done, and usually wants to display her creation. She is also pretty good about cleaning up after herself.
We had quite a few spills and messes. She cut up things while learning how to use scissors. She made large puddles of glue, but it is all washable. She spilled her shapes and we had to sing clean up song numerous times to get all the shapes back in the bucket. The tables get some of the mess, too, but it is all washable and wipeable. Besides, since I am usually more focused on the boys' work, I am not breathing down her back to be perfect, either.
Today she chose to do play-do while the boys worked in the morning. She got out the shapes and a small tub, set herself up in the kitchen and had fun time cutting and mushing. Then she put it away and joined the boys at the dining room table. She brought over a lacing kit. I was asked to untangle the strings and then she proceeded to lace a dog while the boys did Lashon HaTorah and math.
Later in the afternoon, she found a papier mache peach and wanted to paint it. Originally I thought it would make a great sukkah decoration, painted and covered in mod podge, but it never happened. Now she pulled out paint, a jar for water and a paint brush and worked on adding different colors to it. When she was all done, she wanted to thumb tack it to the board in the kitchen. I tried explaining how it would not work, but she wanted to display it. I suggested hanging it up in the dining room. She brought me a piece of string and we hung it from a curtain rod.
When she is not involved in these projects, she plays with her dolls, puts them to sleep, changes their diapers, makes strollers out of bins and spreads out blankets for picnics and boats and whichever way her imagination takes her. She got tall enough and strong enough to open the fridge doors, so she can help herself to the snacks I keep in the bottom drawer: squeezy yogurts and regular yogurt cups and string cheese. I leave the bowls of dry cereal on the table ( if someone didn't finish theirs during breakfast) and she would snack from them.
She comes to sit on my lap occasionally, and to cuddle up. But lately she has been valuing her freedom of roaming more than the comfort she gets.
Someone must be thinking, what about the academics? ( As if all this that she does could not qualify as a full day of schoolwork). Well, she likes when I read books to her. She knows the first two letters in her name and points out that combination whenever we encounter it. She learned the first letters in her brothers' names. I have a bag of magnetic letters which I got when the oldest was one and half. She likes to assemble them on the fridge.
She can count solidly to ten, and more shakily to twenty. She is learning her numbers from pressing them on the microwave pad to cook her morning oatmeal. When she is asked how old she is, she says that she is in "quarters", which means two and three quarters. She also knows that if you have one marshmallow and you need to end up with three ( like your brother), you need two more. And she know what two more looks like!
She knows what we do on Shabbat, and how we get ready for it. She knows that Hebrew books go the other way from the English ones. She has a few favorite Hebrew songs, and she sings them on her own: HaShafan Hakatan, Af Echad, Torah, Hashem is here.
She also still mercifully naps most days ( my boys gave up naps right after turning 2), so we all get a bit of downtime.
So, while I cannot tell you exactly what she does all day, I know that she keeps herself busy. Lately, 6 yo complained how she does not get to do any real schoolwork, and all my talk about how her playing is her schoolwork was not what he wanted to hear. He is not the only one. I just saw an article where a veteran homeschooler explained how all different activities can count as schoolwork. As far as I am concerned, she is doing quite well, whether formally, or informally. She is proof that unschooling works.
As you can surmise from my posts, I do not spend hours every day just sitting and breathing down the boys' backs as they cover subject by subject. I am present, and I might be more involved in some areas (chumash, kriyah) than in others. Most of the activities are hands-off for me, and I just check the final result, or tell where the corrections are necessary. That gives me more time to attend to 2 yo.
As far as her schedule goes, she gets quite a bit of freedom. She gets dressed when the boys get dressed, eats breakfast with the rest of us, davens after the boys and just hangs around, observing and joining in whatever we are doing. If the boys are sitting at the dining room table, writing, she will do one of her "projects". She knows where I keep the scrap paper, stickers and shapes for gluing. She gets glue and scissors, pencils, crayons, whatever strikes her, brings them over and starts working. Then she will tell me when she is done, and usually wants to display her creation. She is also pretty good about cleaning up after herself.
We had quite a few spills and messes. She cut up things while learning how to use scissors. She made large puddles of glue, but it is all washable. She spilled her shapes and we had to sing clean up song numerous times to get all the shapes back in the bucket. The tables get some of the mess, too, but it is all washable and wipeable. Besides, since I am usually more focused on the boys' work, I am not breathing down her back to be perfect, either.
 |
| Working alongside her brothers |
Later in the afternoon, she found a papier mache peach and wanted to paint it. Originally I thought it would make a great sukkah decoration, painted and covered in mod podge, but it never happened. Now she pulled out paint, a jar for water and a paint brush and worked on adding different colors to it. When she was all done, she wanted to thumb tack it to the board in the kitchen. I tried explaining how it would not work, but she wanted to display it. I suggested hanging it up in the dining room. She brought me a piece of string and we hung it from a curtain rod.
When she is not involved in these projects, she plays with her dolls, puts them to sleep, changes their diapers, makes strollers out of bins and spreads out blankets for picnics and boats and whichever way her imagination takes her. She got tall enough and strong enough to open the fridge doors, so she can help herself to the snacks I keep in the bottom drawer: squeezy yogurts and regular yogurt cups and string cheese. I leave the bowls of dry cereal on the table ( if someone didn't finish theirs during breakfast) and she would snack from them.
 |
| Painting |
Someone must be thinking, what about the academics? ( As if all this that she does could not qualify as a full day of schoolwork). Well, she likes when I read books to her. She knows the first two letters in her name and points out that combination whenever we encounter it. She learned the first letters in her brothers' names. I have a bag of magnetic letters which I got when the oldest was one and half. She likes to assemble them on the fridge.
She can count solidly to ten, and more shakily to twenty. She is learning her numbers from pressing them on the microwave pad to cook her morning oatmeal. When she is asked how old she is, she says that she is in "quarters", which means two and three quarters. She also knows that if you have one marshmallow and you need to end up with three ( like your brother), you need two more. And she know what two more looks like!
She knows what we do on Shabbat, and how we get ready for it. She knows that Hebrew books go the other way from the English ones. She has a few favorite Hebrew songs, and she sings them on her own: HaShafan Hakatan, Af Echad, Torah, Hashem is here.
She also still mercifully naps most days ( my boys gave up naps right after turning 2), so we all get a bit of downtime.
So, while I cannot tell you exactly what she does all day, I know that she keeps herself busy. Lately, 6 yo complained how she does not get to do any real schoolwork, and all my talk about how her playing is her schoolwork was not what he wanted to hear. He is not the only one. I just saw an article where a veteran homeschooler explained how all different activities can count as schoolwork. As far as I am concerned, she is doing quite well, whether formally, or informally. She is proof that unschooling works.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
constructive destruction
Yesterday I did not have any formal school planned: the kids were coming back from a sleepover at my in-laws, I had an ultrasound scheduled midday, and there was tae kwon do in the afternoon. I figured it is not worth fighting everyone to get those few pages of work filled up, but the kids had other plans. My mother-in-law sent over a few broken electronics, and they were eager to take them apart.
Here they are, sitting on the deck with three screwdrivers, undoing the screws. It is like advanced present unwrapping: you do not know what you are going to get. Yesterday they did not get too far, but it took them a good hour and lots of teamwork and taking turns to get the cover all the toy and to remove the batteries.
Today 6 yo was going to a Marine Mammal day camp for a few hours, run by a fellow homeschooler. This means a ten-year old girl, who is fundraising to go to a camp herself. 8 yo was sulking in the morning: he gets to pack his lunch, he gets to have fun, he gets to do cool things, while I am stuck here on a cold rainy horrible day and nothing good ever happens to me. This attitude gives me a bad rise ( until I pause and realize that there are plenty of times I feel like that too: oh, poor me, why me, why is this all happening to me?) Either way, I was not sure how much more of this moping I could take. Then I mentioned to my husband how today is trash pick up and could he put our old broken TV/VCR combo by the curb? And then I had an idea: I asked 8 yo if he would like to disassemble it instead. That turned everything around; the day went from horrible to great, there was eagerness to get work done, and he got to davening right away.
This is what 8 yo did today: finished Level 1 of Rosetta Stone, did a page of Lashon HaTorah, translated three pesukim in Chumash, learned letter "k" in script and did multiplication in math. Additionally, he drummed for half an hour, stood in line at the polls and helped me in the grocery store. 6 yo did these before his camp even started: a page of a new unit in Lashon HaTorah, HWT and math. All of this was done by 2:30, including lunch.
As soon as 8 was done, he went downstairs, lugged the TV by himself up the stairs, got the screwdrivers and went at it.
There were oohs and aahs when the cathode tube emerged. The boys fond the processor, the speaker and the induction coils in the motor. 8 yo disconnected the gears in the rewind/fast forward mechanism. I showed them the resistors and the capacitors. Everyone was busily occupied for nice long while. I just regretted that I do not know more about electronics to show them around.
There is a large question on what motivates the kids: star charts, reward boxes, prizes, bribery. Most of these are materialistic rewards and are extrinsic. The parents and the teachers are reduced to the status of dog trainers: if you do this, you get that, and if you do not do this, you lose that. I see how it works, and I see that when you are at your wits' end, this gives you a way out. But can't we expect more from humans than we expect from dogs? Can't we find what makes humans tick, and feed into that?
Right now, taking things apart is that extrinsic motivator. There is a process of discovery, and channeling destruction, and surprise and applying what you know to a new situation. And my gut feeling is, this is what learning is truly supposed to be about. All those pages of work that were done in the morning, that are lying neatly in the boys' binders, they are nothing compared to what they took away from this old broken TV.
Today 6 yo was going to a Marine Mammal day camp for a few hours, run by a fellow homeschooler. This means a ten-year old girl, who is fundraising to go to a camp herself. 8 yo was sulking in the morning: he gets to pack his lunch, he gets to have fun, he gets to do cool things, while I am stuck here on a cold rainy horrible day and nothing good ever happens to me. This attitude gives me a bad rise ( until I pause and realize that there are plenty of times I feel like that too: oh, poor me, why me, why is this all happening to me?) Either way, I was not sure how much more of this moping I could take. Then I mentioned to my husband how today is trash pick up and could he put our old broken TV/VCR combo by the curb? And then I had an idea: I asked 8 yo if he would like to disassemble it instead. That turned everything around; the day went from horrible to great, there was eagerness to get work done, and he got to davening right away.
This is what 8 yo did today: finished Level 1 of Rosetta Stone, did a page of Lashon HaTorah, translated three pesukim in Chumash, learned letter "k" in script and did multiplication in math. Additionally, he drummed for half an hour, stood in line at the polls and helped me in the grocery store. 6 yo did these before his camp even started: a page of a new unit in Lashon HaTorah, HWT and math. All of this was done by 2:30, including lunch.
As soon as 8 was done, he went downstairs, lugged the TV by himself up the stairs, got the screwdrivers and went at it.
There were oohs and aahs when the cathode tube emerged. The boys fond the processor, the speaker and the induction coils in the motor. 8 yo disconnected the gears in the rewind/fast forward mechanism. I showed them the resistors and the capacitors. Everyone was busily occupied for nice long while. I just regretted that I do not know more about electronics to show them around.
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| Opening the cover |
 |
| freeing the cathode tube |
 |
| playing with induction coils |
Right now, taking things apart is that extrinsic motivator. There is a process of discovery, and channeling destruction, and surprise and applying what you know to a new situation. And my gut feeling is, this is what learning is truly supposed to be about. All those pages of work that were done in the morning, that are lying neatly in the boys' binders, they are nothing compared to what they took away from this old broken TV.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Mrs. Lot
I attended a homeschooling webinar this past week and one of the questions was about the science curriculum. Now, those still trigger a small wave of panic in the pit of my stomach: science curriculum? we do not have one! I am brimming with ideas: nature walks, nature journals, leaf categorization, phases of the moon, using light sources to show equinox and eclipses, plant life, the human body... The problem is, I think my kids would much rather read some of their science books, watch a documentary, dig in the dirt and take a picture of a woodpecker on our neighbor's house than do a formal study of anything.
I attended a homeschooling webinar this past week and one of the questions was about the science curriculum. Now, those still trigger a small wave of panic in the pit of my stomach: science curriculum? we do not have one! I am brimming with ideas: nature walks, nature journals, leaf categorization, phases of the moon, using light sources to show equinox and eclipses, plant life, the human body... The problem is, I think my kids would much rather read some of their science books, watch a documentary, dig in the dirt and take a picture of a woodpecker on our neighbor's house than do a formal study of anything.
In honor of this week's parsha, Vayeira, I decided to make Mrs. Lot.
Protocol? There was no protocol. Mrs. Lot turned into a pillar of salt, so we were supposed to get a pillar of salt, somehow. I started by filling a pot with a small amount of water. Then I asked boys to add some salt to it and to stir it up. I told them that salt is dissolving and soon we will not see it any more. I explained that salt is made out of sodium and chloride, holding hands, but when it hit s water, they let go and snuggle up with the water molecules instead. I also told them that we cannot add salt indefinitely, eventually, there will not be enough water for sodium and chloride to snuggle up to, so they will choose to hold hands and that will make the solution saturated. The boys took turns adding salt and mixing. I got them to taste it and they declared it to be positively salty.
Then I asked them: how can we get the salt out? 8 yo said that we could vaporize all the water. I asked them to take a skewer, wrap a piece of yarn around it and tie it. Then I showed them some coarse and fine salt, next to each other. I asked them to compare ( and taste). I explained that coarse salt has larger crystals. I also said that I hope that by dipping the string into coarse salt, we will encourage the growth of larger crystals.
The start things along, I put the pot on the stove. Immediately, 6 yo asked how long it will take. I said, a few minutes till the water starts boiling. They stood there, watching it and counting the seconds. A watched pot does boil! Then we dipped in the string on the skewer. Two things happened: the crystals dissolved and the string started moving around in the boiling bubbles. At this point, it was getting close to Shabbos, and I was not going to let Mrs. Lot take over my stove, so the experiment got moved to the top of the dryer.
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| This is Mrs. Lot, gently evaporating on the stove |
8 yo asked about the white dots on the side of the pot. I asked for his opinion and he correctly guessed that it is salt. I stressed that only water molecules can evaporate, so those are the droplets of salty water, where the water evaporated and the salt was left behind.
Mrs Lot is currently taking up residence on top of the dryer that is running a load of clothes. I am chuckling, remembering my grad school days. I specialized in X-ray crystallography, but, before one can shoot crystals, one has to grow them. Some liked to grow undisturbed, like rock candy, while some liked to be agitated. I hope that the gentle dryer vibrations are encouraging crystal growth.
We do not need science curriculum, not yet. I need to be able to catch my kids when they are interested in science and give them a certain amount of information, on their level, with a hands-on activity of some kind. Overall, the goal is to make science something accessible and enjoyable.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
tucking kids in
When I was pregnant with my oldest, I read "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. I liked her no-nonsense approach, step-by-step instruction, and the idea that parents also need a life. There was a proposition of bedtime ( and naptime) routine. I followed her on it, and, since my baby was old enough to be bathed, our nightly ritual became : bath, book, cuddle, nursing till drowsy and down you go! Since he was a textbook baby, he did exactly what all the books said he would: with an established routine, he had no problem going to sleep. When he got a bit older, I added a goodnight story between bath and nursing. Around a year, he lost interest in nursing, and went to sleep.
Every night, right before putting him in his crib, I gave him kisses and told him how I and My husband love him. Then I said: Have a good night, as I laid him down.
Since it worked so well for him, I established the same routine with his brother. By that point, I had two kids to tuck in, most nights on my own. The younger one was not the same type of baby; he had major gastric issues, had hard time settling down, spit up buckets, nursed for only five minutes at a time, would not fall asleep while nursing, would not take a pacifier, etc, etc. He would not sleep through the night till he was two, and not for the lack of trying on our part. However, even this tough baby would fall asleep with this established routine ( albeit not for too long).
When my daughter was born, we went to the same routine. She was an easy baby, nursed well, slept well. She loved her bath, her books, and her tucking in routine. By now, the list of people who loved the kids grew to include all the siblings. Once she was able to talk, she would ask for cuddles, which meant lying down with her for a minute.
I found this bedtime ritual quite important as kids got older. By now, everyone can fall asleep without all the steps, but, usually, just as I am tucking the kids in, the pressing hurts, questions, and the need for cuddles surfaces. The fears are expressed, the hugs are solicited and the reassurances are sought. Some of these would never come out in the broad daylight.
Oh, this bedtime routine takes time, especially when I factor in the bath and reading time. It could easily be an hour. An hour I can spend cleaning the house, talking on the phone, surfing the web, reading my own book. After all, the boys are big, they know what to do to get themselves into bed. But I also know how fleeting is all of this. It will pass in the blink of an eye, and soon, very soon, my tucking in services will not be solicited.
I see the signs of it. Some days the boys read their own good night stories sprawled out on the floor instead of trying to squeeze in around me. They bathe themselves. When they are tired, they might have said Shema on their own, before I came to their room. Lately, 8 yo found that he can do without the goodnight kisses.
While this might feel painful to me, in reality, it is developmentally appropriate separation, initiated by the child. They are letting me know when they need me for comfort and when they are ready for independence. It reminds me of the way all thee weaned themselves: one day, around the same time they learned how to walk, they simply skipped a nursing here and there, and then, just a few days later, acted like they had nothing to do with me at all. With some of them, I did not feel done, and it did feel like rejection, but seeing them quite happily occupying themselves demonstrated that they were ready to move on to big-kid things.
So, if your kids do not rebuff you yet, give them some cuddles and goodnight kisses tonight. This will only take a few minutes of your time, and you will reap the rich reward in closeness.
Every night, right before putting him in his crib, I gave him kisses and told him how I and My husband love him. Then I said: Have a good night, as I laid him down.
Since it worked so well for him, I established the same routine with his brother. By that point, I had two kids to tuck in, most nights on my own. The younger one was not the same type of baby; he had major gastric issues, had hard time settling down, spit up buckets, nursed for only five minutes at a time, would not fall asleep while nursing, would not take a pacifier, etc, etc. He would not sleep through the night till he was two, and not for the lack of trying on our part. However, even this tough baby would fall asleep with this established routine ( albeit not for too long).
When my daughter was born, we went to the same routine. She was an easy baby, nursed well, slept well. She loved her bath, her books, and her tucking in routine. By now, the list of people who loved the kids grew to include all the siblings. Once she was able to talk, she would ask for cuddles, which meant lying down with her for a minute.I found this bedtime ritual quite important as kids got older. By now, everyone can fall asleep without all the steps, but, usually, just as I am tucking the kids in, the pressing hurts, questions, and the need for cuddles surfaces. The fears are expressed, the hugs are solicited and the reassurances are sought. Some of these would never come out in the broad daylight.
Oh, this bedtime routine takes time, especially when I factor in the bath and reading time. It could easily be an hour. An hour I can spend cleaning the house, talking on the phone, surfing the web, reading my own book. After all, the boys are big, they know what to do to get themselves into bed. But I also know how fleeting is all of this. It will pass in the blink of an eye, and soon, very soon, my tucking in services will not be solicited.
I see the signs of it. Some days the boys read their own good night stories sprawled out on the floor instead of trying to squeeze in around me. They bathe themselves. When they are tired, they might have said Shema on their own, before I came to their room. Lately, 8 yo found that he can do without the goodnight kisses.
While this might feel painful to me, in reality, it is developmentally appropriate separation, initiated by the child. They are letting me know when they need me for comfort and when they are ready for independence. It reminds me of the way all thee weaned themselves: one day, around the same time they learned how to walk, they simply skipped a nursing here and there, and then, just a few days later, acted like they had nothing to do with me at all. With some of them, I did not feel done, and it did feel like rejection, but seeing them quite happily occupying themselves demonstrated that they were ready to move on to big-kid things.
So, if your kids do not rebuff you yet, give them some cuddles and goodnight kisses tonight. This will only take a few minutes of your time, and you will reap the rich reward in closeness.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday
I informed my kids that we will have school this morning, That was not accepted lovingly, just to put it mildly. 2 yo woke up at 5:30, just as my husband was coming home from a delivery (I did not know that he left to deliver). So we camped out on the couch. She wanted to look at her pictures, she wanted to snuggle up, I was taking too much space. The boys came out, 6 yo first: "Mommy, today is my promotion!" He is getting tested for the next tae kwon do belt.
I figured that no sleep is coming my way, and the kids started bickering. I send them to get dressed, with the promise of french toast for breakfast. It's the best way to use leftover challah, and everyone seems to like it.
During breakfast, I announced that we will have some school in the morning, while daddy attends his continual medical education classes. It was supposed to be for an hour or two. I also explained that tomorrow we're going to Spivey Hall, so we will miss the morning's schoolwork anyway. I wrote out four things each: math, Lashon HaTorah, handwriting and script, and Lama and Chumash, with leaf raking and scarecrow making as bonus activities.
8yo started with math. He had review, but he was drawing it out, singing, making careless mistakes. 6 yo started with Lama, and then "suffered" through it: threw himself on the floor, threw his pencil, cried how he can't do it, etc. Voluntarily he went to his room a few times, to complete work without interruptions. The funny thing is: he knew all the answers, he was able to write them all down, but the perception of the task's difficulty was clouding his ability to sit down and get it done.
Then 8 yo moved on to script, while 6 yo started math. Same story with math: he can do all the problems, but the text insists on drawing illustrations, and he gets completely stumped, even though I DO NOT require him to draw anything, only to solve the problems.
Next was Lashon HaTorah. 8 yo finished his in a flash and we started 24th perek in Chayei Sarah. He wanted to do four pesukim; no objections from me. We got to "moshel". I explained the word's meaning and wrote down "rosh hamemshala", with translation. He immediately quoted back from Yishtabach: oz u'memshala. We high-fived.
Then he asked about that strange swearing under the thigh. I brought in Rashi. He lit up when he realized that it had to do with the brit mila. Those are the nicest moments; I feel grateful to be his teacher and experience with him the discovery of wisdom. It is amazing to see that there is a difficulty in the text, wait for him to ask a question, and then point to a right Rashi, watch him start reading it, propose his own explanation, then see what Rashi has to say and then glow with enlightenment.
For myself, I have seen these parshiyot for so many years by now. I learned them in depth in high school, but the level of new clarity and new questions is still astounding. I see these pesukim in a new light, and new ideas, or long-forgotten commentaries now make more sense.
6 yo finished math, then did handwriting and Lashon HaTorah in a jiffy. He remembered about plural suffixes, what they are and what they do.
Then the extracurricular leaf raking commenced. The rakes were located, and the leaf pile grew and grew. I know that this is the first raking of the season and the enthusiasm is bound to wane, but for now, it is nice to see the boys working together and enjoying it.
............................
Well, I messed up and the promotion test is on Monday. That gave us a whole unscheduled afternoon that was filled with some TV watching.
My husband found a pair of dirty socks belonging to 8 yo in the basement. He fumed (not the first time it happened). I fumed too, but then I proposed turning this into a consequence: let him go and pick them up and, since I already finished all the laundry, hand wash them. I called 8 yo off in the middle of his movie. It took him a few minutes to find the socks and then I took him to the bathroom and showed him how to wet them, rub with soap, scrub, rinse and wring them out. The funny part was: he found the whole activity enjoyable, probably because he never had to do it before. Both my husband and I reminisced how we had to wash our own socks as kids, regularly, as a necessity, and there was nothing fun about that. Now my son has a life-long skill of being able to wash his clothes in case he runs out and (gasp) there is no washing machine nearby.
..............................
To top the day off, I got to overhear this conversation between the boys:
6 yo: Did you like it when you were going to school?
8 yo: Yes!
-So why did you want to be homeschooled? Did you want to be like me?
-No, I wanted to have fun and get a good education. And have more field trips. Hey, Mom, when are we going on a field trip?
Me: Tomorrow, to a concert in Spivey Hall, then, next week to a governor's mansion and the Capitol. What about NY trip? We could have not done it if you weren't homeschooled!
I guess he's warming up to the idea of school at home, after all.
I figured that no sleep is coming my way, and the kids started bickering. I send them to get dressed, with the promise of french toast for breakfast. It's the best way to use leftover challah, and everyone seems to like it.
During breakfast, I announced that we will have some school in the morning, while daddy attends his continual medical education classes. It was supposed to be for an hour or two. I also explained that tomorrow we're going to Spivey Hall, so we will miss the morning's schoolwork anyway. I wrote out four things each: math, Lashon HaTorah, handwriting and script, and Lama and Chumash, with leaf raking and scarecrow making as bonus activities.
8yo started with math. He had review, but he was drawing it out, singing, making careless mistakes. 6 yo started with Lama, and then "suffered" through it: threw himself on the floor, threw his pencil, cried how he can't do it, etc. Voluntarily he went to his room a few times, to complete work without interruptions. The funny thing is: he knew all the answers, he was able to write them all down, but the perception of the task's difficulty was clouding his ability to sit down and get it done.
Then 8 yo moved on to script, while 6 yo started math. Same story with math: he can do all the problems, but the text insists on drawing illustrations, and he gets completely stumped, even though I DO NOT require him to draw anything, only to solve the problems.
Next was Lashon HaTorah. 8 yo finished his in a flash and we started 24th perek in Chayei Sarah. He wanted to do four pesukim; no objections from me. We got to "moshel". I explained the word's meaning and wrote down "rosh hamemshala", with translation. He immediately quoted back from Yishtabach: oz u'memshala. We high-fived.
Then he asked about that strange swearing under the thigh. I brought in Rashi. He lit up when he realized that it had to do with the brit mila. Those are the nicest moments; I feel grateful to be his teacher and experience with him the discovery of wisdom. It is amazing to see that there is a difficulty in the text, wait for him to ask a question, and then point to a right Rashi, watch him start reading it, propose his own explanation, then see what Rashi has to say and then glow with enlightenment.
For myself, I have seen these parshiyot for so many years by now. I learned them in depth in high school, but the level of new clarity and new questions is still astounding. I see these pesukim in a new light, and new ideas, or long-forgotten commentaries now make more sense.
6 yo finished math, then did handwriting and Lashon HaTorah in a jiffy. He remembered about plural suffixes, what they are and what they do.
Then the extracurricular leaf raking commenced. The rakes were located, and the leaf pile grew and grew. I know that this is the first raking of the season and the enthusiasm is bound to wane, but for now, it is nice to see the boys working together and enjoying it.............................
Well, I messed up and the promotion test is on Monday. That gave us a whole unscheduled afternoon that was filled with some TV watching.
My husband found a pair of dirty socks belonging to 8 yo in the basement. He fumed (not the first time it happened). I fumed too, but then I proposed turning this into a consequence: let him go and pick them up and, since I already finished all the laundry, hand wash them. I called 8 yo off in the middle of his movie. It took him a few minutes to find the socks and then I took him to the bathroom and showed him how to wet them, rub with soap, scrub, rinse and wring them out. The funny part was: he found the whole activity enjoyable, probably because he never had to do it before. Both my husband and I reminisced how we had to wash our own socks as kids, regularly, as a necessity, and there was nothing fun about that. Now my son has a life-long skill of being able to wash his clothes in case he runs out and (gasp) there is no washing machine nearby.
..............................
To top the day off, I got to overhear this conversation between the boys:
6 yo: Did you like it when you were going to school?
8 yo: Yes!
-So why did you want to be homeschooled? Did you want to be like me?
-No, I wanted to have fun and get a good education. And have more field trips. Hey, Mom, when are we going on a field trip?
Me: Tomorrow, to a concert in Spivey Hall, then, next week to a governor's mansion and the Capitol. What about NY trip? We could have not done it if you weren't homeschooled!
I guess he's warming up to the idea of school at home, after all.
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