Waiting

Waiting

To grow up
To be older
To graduate high school,
and then college,
and then grad school.

Waiting

To be understood
To get married
To start a family

Waiting

For the med school to end
And then residency
And then fellowship
And then normal schedule

Waiting

For the baby to be born
To sleep through the night
To walk
and then talk
and stop tantruming

Waiting

For kids to get older
And then it will be easier
to take them places.
To eat out (when we'll have more money)
and go to Israel (when we'll have even more money).

Waiting

To organize this room
and then to make time to draw
To print out years' of photos
And call up a friend
But not now, when I need it the most.

Waiting

To be less tired
and more perky and social.
For husband to come home
To take a walk together, tomorrow.
But tomorrow he's called up,
So I'm alone, and not walking.

Waiting

To go out
But the kids are young
And babysitters are unavailable
And he does not come home till late
And where will we go anyway.
Crawl into bed,
into smartphone wonderland of spent time

Waiting

For my life to start
For the excuses to pass
For this to lift
For another stage, another day, another year, another place

Waiting

But I do not want to wake up one day
realizing that now I will live for myself,
When nobody was telling me I shouldn't live for myself all these years.