Thursday, March 7, 2013

just perfect

The baby is nursing round the clock and I never have a break.
The baby is too sleepy to nurse and I have to wake him up and make him mad just to latch on.
The baby cries and cries and it's driving me insane.
The baby poops in the middle of feedings and I have to change him and then he poops at the end and leaks out and I have to change him again.
There is no time to get anything done.
I have no "me" time.

Life with a newborn has its challenges. Yet when my 8 yo was asked what does he think about his new brother, he said: "He's perfect, just perfect!" Not that he keeps mom busy all the time, that he cries, that all the attention is focused on the baby and not me, not that I have to walk around quieter now and not drum when I want, but that he's perfect.

Last night, as I was up nursing yet again, I thought more about my son's reply. What if instead complaining about all the challenges that come with a small baby in the house, we treat him (and the challenges) as perfect?

The baby is nursing round the clock? He's building up milk supply, so that later nursings will be quicker and he will sleep for a longer stretch.

The baby is too sleepy to nurse? Nobody gave him nursing lessons and he has to learn on his own. He cannot have things explained to him, yet he's learning. I can be a patient teacher.

The baby cries and cries? He's voicing a need, and learning to communicate. I need to tune in.

The baby poops constantly? Thank G-d his intestines are working and he can digest, so he can grow.

There is no time to get anything done? With my first, very early on, I realized that everything done for a baby is chesed (kindness). All of those hours spent visiting the sick, bringing dinner to a neighbor, helping someone else? Lucky me! I can spend them on my very own child, taking care of his needs!

No "me" time. The other day I was taking the baby out for a walk. The big kids were at a sleepover with grandma. I hadn't done this since my oldest was the baby. I remember feeling then that a good mommy takes her kid out for a walk. I remember worrying whether he will continue sleeping once I get home so I can do something by myself. I remember worrying how long the nursings are taking, and whether there will be a break. This time, just walking on a beautiful morning, birds chirping, and being left alone with my own thoughts felt like "me" time. Sitting on a couch nursing and reading a magazine is definitely "me" time. It is all a matter of perspective.

I am so lucky that G-d blessed us with this perfect baby.


  1. Love it! And it totally is perspective. Someone asked me if I had gotten out alone since the baby was born, and I answered, "I get out alone all the time!" And I realized that she meant completely alone, and that I meant, having just a tiny baby with me is better than completely alone.

  2. Mazal tov! He is beautiful ka'h. He is a lucky baby to have such amazing parents and siblings. :)